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I am just your average, thirty-something single mom trying to find my little nest in the world. I can be full of piss and vinegar but it's just a fro...
 
 
 
 

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Poor

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Poor. Poor isn’t just the old homeless men standing in line at the Marion House Soup Kitchen. It isn’t only the dreadlocked kids off the interstate with cardboard signs.

Poor walks amongst us. Poor can work forty and fifty and sixty hours a week and still come up short at every turn. Poor knows how much everything costs, down to the penny. Poor wakes up in cold sweats because she remembers yet another expense to pile on top of the ever-growing mountain. Poor has a never-ending list of wants and needs ticking in her head- “If I make fifty extra dollars, I can buy new shoes for the kids and put a little extra towards groceries.” Poor pays for her gas in five and ten dollar increments- a full tank is a rare luxury. Poor picks and chooses what to pay every week- Poor knows that the gas company charges criminally high fees to turn back on while the Electric company will work with you. Poor knows that if you take bills to the Post Office at 3:44 PM, they will date them but put off sorting until the next day. Poor knows that pasta and milk and apples go a very long way, while blackberries are a bittersweet luxury. Poor knows where each and every clearance rack in every grocery store is. Poor knows that lemon yogurts cost sixteen cents less than key lime, so Poor talks her kiddo into a love of lemon.

Poor laughs when she hears people talk about money being tight as they get pedicures and sushi. Money isn’t tight when you are eating salmon and roe with wasabi. Poor knows money is tight when you try to stretch a can of tuna to two meals. Poor knows that if you can afford massages and movies, you don’t know the chill that hangs around on sleepless nights.

Poor can feel utterly hopeless, but there are glimmers of good even in the darkness. Poor knows where her library card is. Poor knows how to entertain her kids for nothing. Poor can make the meanest pancakes around because little stomachs can be fat and happy on short stacks. Poor believes that eventually, if she works hard enough and keeps the faith, being destitute will pass like a bad dream.

 empty bowl

You probably know Poor. She might be the one who has a kiddo in your kid’s class. She doesn’t have to be toothless and dressed like Little Orphan Annie. She might have a Northface vest or a string of pearls around her neck. You just don’t see that the vest is a coup from Goodwill and the pearls are the one token of dignity from a life past that she refuses to relinquish at a pawn shop. She might appear to join in your conversations about how expensive Central America is for Spring Break and you might not notice that she listens quietly but never says a word. She might volunteer in the classroom but not pony up the endless fees for teacher’s gifts and parties and all of the endless little needs. She might look pained when you ask what she does, because she feels like what she is and what she will be matter more than what she does. She might look pained when she answers you because she knows what look she will get from you when you realize she doesn’t have a career but rather a j-o-b.

 

Yep, you probably know Poor. And she is usually a lot closer to home than you ever want to admit.

 

 

(Thanks to Friendofthefarmer.com for the lovely picture)

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sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

Our grocery store didn't have a lot by way of exotic fruit but we still tried everything we could get. :)

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

TheBlackTortoise 5 pts

My 4 kids and I calculated how much each serving cost: beans, a little butter, onions, maybe a soup made from the juice left over from our one meat meal that week.

Our favorite "game", pick out one piece of exotic fruit from the grocery store, bring it home and split it up six ways. What a treat! My grown kids, all in pretty good financial condition, still like that game, and play it with their own kids.

Once you've been there, you don't forget, even when you can afford that manicure or massage.

Great post!

Adela

Blogging at:

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

and

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )

everydayjill 5 pts

Interesting- don't think I get your sense of humor, AnitaG. However, I hope you never feel the chill.

AnitaG. 5 pts

AnitaG.
G. stands for GIRL

The Poor is like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. it is a story of pure fiction and entertainment. there are not actually poor people. come on. stop it. it is too funny!@

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

I used to play that game a lot in university and the first few years post-university. There were lots of cheeses on my list and meat that wasn't ground beef.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

ardeeann 5 pts

I know most off you all seem to have children. My child is now 33 but we ate ten cent a box macaroni and cheese made with just water many nights when he was growing up. Peanut butter and jelly was a luxury.

I finally ended up with a professional job but I saw too much poverty around me. My son and I ate beans and oatmeal a lot so we could feed homeless folks under the bridge on Saturdays and Sundays. We also knew where homeless camps were and left a couple of bags of canned goods out there every pay day.

My live of voluntary poverty prepared me for involuntary poverty. When I became disabled I had to sell my belongings to hold body and soul together. I fed three people on $35 a month. That included paper goods and personal hygiene products. The year was 1998.

There are two of us who share a house. We are both disabled. We live on 12% of what my former income was. We make too much to get food stamps. We have both been dirt broke before in our lives. We are lucky we like oatmeal, beans and potatoes. We are also lucky to have friends who hand us down their old computers and laptops. Being on line is our major form of entertainment.

I could write more but I would be babbling. I enjoy my life but gosh I could use and extra $300 a month. LOL!

Cheers,

Ardee-ann

http://ardeeeichelmann.livejournal.com

everydayjill 5 pts

Don't you feel like the hunter bringing home a prize when you score something like that- I have a Northface jacket and a Ralph Lauren sweater that I scored for less than a latte- makes me feel a bit more normal when I wear them- like I don't have 'poor' written across my forehead.
Thank you for your comments- I hate that other people feel the same way but also feel a little less alone tonight.

everydayjill 5 pts

Oh, Crissy, I know that game far too well. Do you ever write down all of the stuff you would buy to fill your fridge and pantry if you could? I daydream about buying figs and gourmet mustards and nut butters and all sorts of decadent foods and spices.
I am also out of coffee and just tell myself I need to give it up anyway (which isn't working so well as far as my attitude).
Temporary poverty feels so isolating, so I appreciate your comments immensely. Makes me feel a little less lonely.
Thank you!

the_happy_hausfrau 5 pts

I have been aching to write a post like this for quite some time.

Thank you for doing it so brilliantly, so eloquently and so truthfully. You have put my almost-daily thoughts into beautiful words.

Funny aside, I recently wrote a blog post mentioning my $1.99 North Face jacket I grabbed up at a thrift store :)

CrissiD 5 pts

Sometimes I play the "What would you buy" game with my kids if we suddenly came into a lot of money. My luxury? A full fridge. We get by, but we are far from rich. Because of our budget, I'm forced to spend less than $100 a week on food for our family of three. And those few days before the next payday we are always scrimping on food, making a meal last three or so nights because there is no meat left in the freezer or produce in the fridge. This week, I'm going light on the coffee because I'm almost out, and there are still two days left till payday. And when I hear people talking about getting their hair done every 6 weeks, or getting a mani/ped, or splurging on other suck luxuries, I laugh. But part of it is a jealous laugh, cuz I'd love to know what it's like to spend on something so "frivolous" without worrying about what it's doing to my food budget.

Thanks for this, it's very true.

Catch up with my blog on parenting over at Wine Country Mom ( http://winecountrymom.blogs.santarosamom.com/ ), or an uncensored look on life at Unabashed Passion Fruit ( http://unabashedpassionfruit.com/ ).