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Sparkle (5)
It's a Saturday Night Live skit waiting to happen, right? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets: A service that promises to care for your pet after you have ascended to heaven to join The Almighty. Like the company's co-founder, Bart Centre, I laughed at first. Surely, this can't be for real. But after speaking with Bart, and a few close friends who believe in the Rapture, I stopped laughing and started thinking.
First, let's review: The Rapture, also known as Judgment Day, is the basic belief (with varying tribulational differences) that Jesus is coming back and only taking His devout followers back up the Holy Elevator with Him. Evidently, the heathen losers "left behind" will be screwed, and the end of the world as we know it will follow soon thereafter. Many believe, along with Family Radio President Harold Camping, that The Rapture will take place this Saturday, May 21, with the world's end to follow on October 21.
When I began my interview with Bart, he asked up front, "Are you a believer?" I responded in the negative (to the Rapture, specifically) and we begin to chat. After hanging up, I realized the conversation would have been very different if I had answered in the affirmative.
Bart Centre is a devout atheist and is, in fact, the author of "The Atheist Camel Chronicles: Debate Themes & Arguments for the Non-Believer (and those who think they might be)" under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump.
The book published in June 2009. A month later, his buddy, Brad, sent Bart a news link about a UK woman who promises to care for cats post-Rapture. They both had a good chuckle over it, but it got Bart to thinking.
One of his book chapters talks about the End Times and that looming Mayan calendar date of 2012 (the next one we need to worry about should we live through May 21). "I realized a lot of Christians are jumping on that boat," said Bart, "and asked myself, ‘What can I do that can help ease the concerns of Christians and make some money?'”
And so, Bart and Brad teamed up to launch Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA in July 2009. Their tagline: "The next best thing to salvation in a post-Rapture world." (Brad, a Minnesotan who doesn't want to use his last name, handles the Western U.S., while Bart oversees the East.) Bart believes it comes down to a Christian asking themselves a few questions: "'Do I believe in the Rapture?' 'Do I believe my pets won’t go to heaven?' And 'Can I trust these atheists?' If the answer to these three things is yes, then this will help."
Here's how it works: A prospective customer submits a contract via the site and pays $135, which covers one animal for a 10-year period. (An additional animal in the same household is an additional $15.) Bart and Brad review the contract and determine if they can truly execute the contract within 18-24 hours of the Rapture.
The company has 40 representatives located through 26 states in the U.S., committed atheists who have actively blasphemed the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:29: "But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin.") and therefore, won't be going anywhere on Rapture Day. Bart or Brad will confirm with the reps in the region whether or not they would be able to adopt and care for the animal listed in the new contract. (Both customers and reps remain anonymous; no contact is allowed.)
Let's face it, for many of us heathen types, the concept is ripe for comedy. In fact, the first question on the site's FAQ page asks, "Is this a joke?" Bart confirmed that this usually the initial reaction:
"We’ve gotten about 4,000 emails through the site. The largest percent are atheists who think this is the funniest thing they’ve ever seen and also, they want to be pet rescuers. Then, there are about 10 percent Christians who also think it is funny but don’t believe in Rapture and wish us well. We also get a few Christians who are really, really angry and use some rough language ... Then, there is a small percentage, about 1 percent, who take us seriously and confess that this has been on their minds. They explore it with us and see that we are for real. Considering that most Christians don’t trust atheists far as they
