When I was potty training my first child, a good friend (herself in the middle of potty training her child) called me, at the end of her rope.
"You know," she sighed, "there should really be a camp for this. Some place we could send our toddlers, and they could just come home trained. At this point, I'd pay big bucks for that."
It turns out my frustrated friend was ahead of her time, because now such a thing exists. Meet the Potty Whisperer, as interviewed on the Today Show.
Wendy Sweeney is a Chicago mom of six (and a registered nurse) who holds "a one-day potty training boot camp that guarantees to convert even the toughest toddlers," according to NBC.
She calls it, appropriately, "Booty Camp". She does not actually call herself the "Potty Whisperer" (that name appears to be coined by the Today Show).
The interview shows Sweeney with her little customers in her (tiled, of course) kitchen, potty chairs lined up against the wall. In an intensive, five-hour course, with parents watching, Sweeney coaches the children through the pottying process. There is much of affirmation and high-fiving. Sweeney loads them up on salty snacks (which makes them thirstier) and sugary drinks (which don't quench that thirst). (To any nutritional nay-sayers, I say that her approach makes sense. It's a very short-lived system that gets the fluids flowing, and sets the kids up for quicker success.)
I couldn't help but think that Sweeney's camp was probably coaching the parents more than it was even coaching the kids. That's a not a bad thing. Especially when it comes to potty training (which can crush the parenting confidence of really good parents, especially first-timers), some advice from a seasoned outsider makes sense. Sweeney gave some excellent, tough-love advice that certainly rang true to me, having potty trained four little people of my own:
--Never ask your child if you have to go (transfer the responsibility to them). They should learn to listen to their own bodies.
--Set an expectation. Let them rise to it. "I don't expect them to do anything that I don't teach them how to do," says Sweeney.
--It's the child's responsibility to clean up any resulting messes. It's not cruel, it's common sense, and it can be done in a way that is affirming and confidence-building.
--Don't insult their intelligence. Tell them exactly what they need to know.
Sweeney admits that potty training in a day isn't always realistic; it can take up to two weeks. As an experienced potty-trainer myself, I'd add that a child who is taking ages to train probably just isn't ready yet. If you're the mom of such a child, chill out, take a deep breath, and give yourself permission to start over in a few weeks or months.
Not surprisingly, the mommy-blogosphere is full of posts on the subject, from horror stories to encouragement:
Peapod Pink writes about cloth training pants vs. disposable ones.
Nicole of A Journey Called Hope provides a photo essay of the tools she's using in the process.
Alisha Wilkins writes about her family's experience with the "cold turkey" method.
Deny Dyer writes for FaithLifts about keeping your perspective while training a strong-willed child.
Shannon Lowe is a Contributing Editor for BlogHer (Mommy/Family), and she also writes at Rocks In My Dryer.
Comments
I never liked the potty
I never liked the potty training (I prefer potty learning) process but I remember there was a lot of pressure (some of it came from me) to get my first kiddo to use the potty at an early age. It didn't help that my mom had stories of training us five kids at a year and half.
With my younger two kids, I took a more casual approach and didn't sweat it. Big difference-- the guilt was gone the pressure was gone and it was a "no big deal" learning process.
Karen
"Life is too short to pout all the time."
A Deaf Mom Shares Her World
Hands & Voices
How much is a ticket to Chicago?
Interesting stuff. My almost three-year-old knows his abc's and can recognize all his letters, can count to twenty (if you don't count "eleventeen"), and works giant floor puzzles by himself.
And laughs at me when I ask him to tell me when he has to potty.
Honestly, I believe it is the social pressure I'm feeling because I really do not feel like he is ready.
Here's the thing, Christine,
Here's the thing, Christine, he's going to get it eventually. I don't know too many adults with the inability to go to the bathroom. :)
Karen "Life is too short to pout all the time." A Deaf Mom Shares Her World Hands & Voices
How much is a ticket to Chicago?
Interesting stuff. My almost three-year-old knows his abc's and can recognize all his letters, can count to twenty (if you don't count "eleventeen"), and works giant floor puzzles by himself.
And laughs at me when I ask him to tell me when he has to potty.
Honestly, I believe it is the social pressure I'm feeling because I really do not feel like he is ready.
yes!
Wow, thanks for sharing this. I am at the "to start potty training or not to start potty training" phase.... this was sooo helpful! thanks
It is not our job to convict the world but to live as a convicted person - John Piper
My Own Experience
I remember when my kids were at about age 3ish. All these other moms would boast and brag how their kids were trained. However what I quickly learned was that it was the moms who were trained. These moms asked 100 times in a hour "do you have to go potty?" These moms watched for signs of crossing legs, grabbing onesself etc. Then would pick them up and rush to the bathroom with them. Like I said these moms were trained and trained well. My kids were both trained at age 3ish, a bit over actually, but they did it themselves, when they were ready.
What a unique service, potty camp. Love it.
Audrey :)
http://audreyshomebiz.blogspot.com
When they're ready, they're ready!
I completely agree with the philosophy that you have to wait for the child to be ready, and once that time comes, they pretty much do it on their own. My 8-year-old stepson wanted nothing to do with it, and no amount of "training" changed that. We ended up trying and giving up so many times that I was ready to accept him wearing diapers forever. Fortunately, when he was ready (at about 3 1/2), he started going on his own and has been going ever since.
My daughter, on the other hand, started asking to go on her own at 18 months, far before I was ready myself. She told me she wanted to wear underwear one day when she was just 2 and that was it--she was trained. All kids are different and we need to watch for their unique rhythms and timelines.
Like someone else said, there aren't too many untrained adults walking around--LOL, so funny!
Petra
www.thewiseyoungmommy.blogspot.com