When I engage in cardio workouts at my gym, there is nothing I like more than a mindless magazine. (Unless I run. Then I can't consume junk food for the brain because it's too hard to focus on a page while on a treadmill. If I run, I love me some mindless television, like America's Next Top Model or I Love New York.) Fortunately, my gym often offers issues of Us Weekly, InTouch, and/or People to its sweaty members for their guilty workout pleasures.
I recognize that irony is at work here: almost every single issue of these magazines features photos of celebrities that are criticized for their bodies' sizes. So while I'm hustling to keep my weight within a healthy range, there's nothing like seeing a picture of thin Eva Langoria in Us telling people that she's not pregnant, "just fat," now that she has a barely detectable belly bulge. In that same issue, Us blasted the exceptionally thin female stars of the new 90210 show for being dangerously thin. What seems to be acceptable these days is a fine line - I think women are permitted to be a designer size 2 or 4 (which runs smaller than the size 2 or 4 you or I might find in a place like Ann Taylor or Wal-Mart), but certainly not below that and absolutely, under no circumstances, should they dare be above it. Is it any wonder that women and girls of all ages have severe body issues?
The one group of women I always hope are extra-exempt from these ridiculous expectations are pregnant women. It's bad enough that "mainstream" society expects women to be belly-less, hip-less, butt-less, and thigh-less (with standards of beauty varying among different cultures, but often no more attainable for the average woman), but no one would hold a pregnant woman to these standards, right? Wrong. In August, several media outlets ran headlines about the widespread phenomena about women who refuse to gain weight during pregnancy.
Tracey Clark-Forey, at Salon.com's Broadsheet questions whether the "pregorexia" epidemic is really something to worry about, or another media attack on women that obscures real issues:
The... news outlets were surely too busy hyperventilating into paper bags at this "news" to note that it runs contrary to a larger, already established trend that has doctors seriously worried: Growing numbers of obese and overweight women, and mothers who gain more weight during pregnancy than is recommended. In fact, some say the guidelines need to be reworked since a recent study found that women who "gained the recommended amount of weight ran four times the risk of having a child who was overweight at age 3, compared to women who gained less than the advised amount," according to the Associated Press. Ah, but if it bleeds has a buzzword, it leads!
This one's getting filed away with "drunkorexia" and "manorexia" under: "Buzzwords That Make a Serious, Deadly Illness Sound Totally Trendy."
Giving Birth with Confidence, a blog written by the authors of The Official Lamaze Guide, offers a nuanced look at "pregorexia:"
For years I have told my undergraduate nursing students in the maternity course that I teach to applaud pregnant women’s weight gain. “You look wonderful”, not “You hardly look pregnant”.
Pregorexia isn’t just because of celebrities staying thin during pregnancy and fitting back into their size 2 within a few weeks of their babies’ births. Pregorexia is a disease health care providers and society in general are fostering.
Women deserve to know that weight gain is normal and needed in pregnancy. Eating well and regular exercise are healthy but skimping and too much exercise endanger growing babies.
Confused by the competing trends? So am I. The good news is that Clare Mysko and Magali Amadei are conducting research for a new book on pregnancy, new motherhood, and body image. They are seeking input from women from around the blogosphere to answer their online surveys:
We know that pregnant women and new moms face more appearance-related pressures than ever before. Our book will explore those pressures, dispel some myths, and provide practical advice to help women cope with all the "lose the baby weight" messages without losing their minds.
That's where you come in. We are calling on our network of friends, colleagues, and readers to help us by sharing your experiences and opinions. Would you take a few minutes to fill out one of our surveys? You can give us your real name, a pseudonym, or you can be completely anonymous if you prefer.
- Take this survey if you are a woman who does not have children yet or if you do not plan to have children
- Take this survey if you are currently pregnant
- Take this survey if you are a mother who has given birth and you are not currently pregnant
- Take this survey if your partner has given birth or if she is currently pregnant
Amadei and Mysko are also conducting longer interviews, so if this is something that you'd weigh in on (pun absolutely intended), give them a shout through the link on their blog, 5 Resolutions.
Pregnant or not, millions of women and girls struggle with body image and self-esteem. I don't usually make new year's resolutions for the Jewish New Year (which starts tonight - l'shanah tova!), but this year, I promise myself that I will not beat myself up over all the goodies that I will inhale at my mother-in-law's house tomorrow night. Instead, I plan to write it off as one night of family and fun, and maybe workout for a few extra minutes while reading tabloids at the gym on Wednesday. Life is about more than the size on the label of my jeans.
Suzanne also blogs about life at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants. Her first book, Off the Beaten (Subway) Track is about unusual things to see and do in New York City, and includes many delicious places to stop for a bite while exploring the City.
Comments
The Balance
It does seem to be a funny balance of not gaining too much during pregnancy and still gaining. I gained a lot during pregnancy - not sure if it was because wasn't really thinking about it or because there were encouraging people in my life! It took about 9 months lose it, but it was lost. I always say that I don't want to gain as much with the next, but we'll see what ends up happening. It seems confussing because can be good or bad either way and I'm sure the "norm" is different for each person.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
I think you raise a good point in noting that this is an individual issue in terms of what is the right amount of weight to gain, but somehow no matter what women do, we can't win.
Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants
Great topic
Thanks for this post. This is something I deal with as a Ob nurse practitioner. Women are under enormous pressure to look like some idealized, air-brushed version of an image that's only attainable for about 3% of the population.
It's made more difficult when moms want to breastfeed. It's difficult to keep up the milk supply and loose weight at the same time, not to mention that there's sleep deprivation thrown in for even more challenges.
You can read more about women's health at my daily blog: www.NurseBarb.com. i just posted on how difficult it is even for celebrity moms to adjust.
Be well,
Nurse Barb
www.NurseBarb.com
Weight and breastfeeding
Thanks Nurse Barb. I think you bring up another very interesting point about weight and pregnancy. I hear a lot of people argue that women should breastfeed because it will help them lose weight. While women should breastfeed if they can and want to, the reason to do so is not to lose weight! In fact, that idea sets women up unfairly to fail. Since breastfeeding does burn a lot of calories, it can help - some women definitely lose weight as a result. But most women I know also had to eat more to make up for those extra calories and keep their energy up. They didn't gain more weight, but they sure did not lose it, either. It's a little messed up that we try to sell women on breastfeeding as a weight loss mechanism.
Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Oth
Never under size 2, never over size 4
So true.
It seems that celebrities are either criticized for being "fat" (yes, the media considers size 6 as fat), or "dangerously skinny" (size 0).
You forgot to say that while society expects women to be belly-less, hip-less, butt-less, and thigh-less, it does NOT expect them to be boob-less. On the contrary. Which makes the "ideal" even more unattainable.
Shana Tova!
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I blog at MomGrind
I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs
1 out of 5 ain't bad, right?
At least a lot of pregnant women get the big boobs... Oy.
Shana tova to you, too! It's already shaping up to be quite a year.
Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants
You're so right
That's right. Flat tummy immediately and large breasts. Truly an impossibility for 97% of people not genetically suited to look like that.
I think we do so much damage to women when the cultural ideal is so far away from what real women look like.
When my patients come to see me after they've delivered, we talk about a realistic time frame for weight loss. Sure there are some women who drop their weight immediately, without trying and can breastfeed.
For most, though, they have between 15-25 extra pounds over their pre-pregnant weight. I advise that they give themselves 4-6 months at the least to get back where they want to be. For others, it takes 1-2 years. Finding time to exercise and for yourself is another issue.
Be well,
NurseBarb
www.NurseBarb.com
Flat Belly....HAH that's a joke ;o)
So we all know that having a baby can possibly make your body "a lil different".
Well, I have 5 beautiful children. One thing I realized is that when I am pregnant it's about my child. I eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. I have gained the "normal" amount of weight MOST OF THE TIME (right around 30 lbs). My 2nd child was 11lbs 1 ounce and I did gain 60 lbs with him. But the interesting fact that we so often forget is that Breast Feeding helps you lose the weight you have gained. Yes, I have stretch marks where I have never had stretch marks before, Yes my stomach has this "SKIN" that will not go away with sit-ups, Yes my boobs now look like funnels......I have hips, Im curvy. (There are many men who love curves)......and I have 5 beautiful children that are healthy. I guess maybe realizing that this is a fact of life helped me....I will not get surgery to remove "the skin", or a breast lift to lift "the funnels". I will buy a good bra from Victoria Secrets and continue to work out and strengthen my body. I kn ow its not this easy for everyone....but it is a reality. We do not all have money to run out and hire a personal trainer or a fabulous hollywood plastic surgeon.....so with that in mind remember to "be happy, be you....cause being anyone else is just a high expectation you will NEVER Attain!!!"