Preparing myself for America ... the gluttony way
The thing about travelling to America is that there is a five hour difference so you have to ease yourself into it gradually and build up your strength, otherwise you might get jetlag and perish.
So the morning after I had arrived, I staggered weakly into the living room and announced to Clare that I needed a huge breakfast otherwise I might faint. I even collapsed onto the sofa (so it wouldn't hurt) for added gravitas.
Clare pondered for a while, "ok, I've got a plan," she said, "we can go to Bob Evans for breakfast".
Bob Evans is one of those places that you frequent if you like eating all the pies: I seriously doubt whether there is a dish on the menu that comes in at under 3000 calories. It's proper fat bastard fodder. Nom nom nom - my favourite.
We jumped into Clare's (new) car and hit the highway bound for Bob Evans. Without 15 minutes we were being shown to our table by a cross-eyed server called Candy.
I digress. After breakfast things went a bit downhill. And the numero uno reason for this was because shopping got involved. I needed some new summer clothes, and after seeing my shit-brown golfing shorts, Clare readily agreed.
Mind you, Clare likes shopping she does. She likes it as much as I dislike it. In fact she likes it so much that she is an extreme couponer. She won't buy anything unless it is free with a coupon.
Regarding my general safety, you will be pleased to hear that I didn't buy the shoes. The reason being is that I never buy shoes that you can't run in. It is a philosophy that has served me well in my life.
But I did buy some rather nice cropped trousers and a couple of tops, so it was mission successful, and Clare was just well happy that she didn't have to hang round with someone wearing golfing shorts.
So dahlink, that was me easing myself gently into my first day in America. What the devil have you been up to
Annie (Lady M) x