Tomboys and Pretty Little Girls: Why Should She Have to Choose One or the Other?

We have almost four year old triplets and an almost one year old boy. Our triplets are two boys and a girl. With two brothers in her same grade and a brother two years younger it won't matter if she is a tomboy or girly girl, it will be tough for her to get a date. Her only hope to survive life with three brothers, dating or ortherwise, is like you said, to be herself. She is a sweetie!

I was the same way. In elem. I lived in baggy shirts and either jeans or leggings though once in awhile I'd dress in a skirt or dress. In middle and high school, I preferred jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters. I always preferred to play soccer and run around. I had grass stains on my jeans that never came out. But I was never a "tomboy" really. I was just me, I could dress up if I felt like it. Nothing wrong with that though. :)

Great post. My girls LOVE playing and rough housing. My Mother in Law constantly says they are little girls and they shouldn't be doing that ie: digging in the dog house with the dogs or scaling the jungle jim. Those remarks just annoy us more so whether an adorable dress or sweats those girls go at playing like it's noones' business and I couldn't be prouder. They are just Lylla and Harper not girl or tomboy.

She doesn't have to choose. Let her mood, the situation or the occassion dictate what she wants to do. That way you honor her spirit more than social conditioning.

My daughter is approaching 2 years old and this is something that I think about often. She spends a lot of time with her daddy & brother who are rough and tough boys. But she is dainty and "motherly" as well when she plays with her dolls and other "girly" toys. I do not hesitate to dress her in clothes that have more of a boy appearance (her brothers sweatshirts from when he was her age are still very good, and perfect for playing outside on these cool fall days). She is only 2, and I do not want her to worry about clothes or what toys she "should" be playing with. If she chooses to hunt with her daddy one day I am all for it, if she wants to be a dancer, I'll support her all the way. I love that she can be and do whatever she chooses. And I try hard not to persuade her either way.

No one should be reduced to just one identity. Girls should realize that being a tomboy doesn’t prevent them from being girly and being feminine doesn't make them weak or less intelligent. Introduce your daughter to strong female role models who demonstrate constitutive identities - whether female athletes, dynamic professionals or fictional characters (like Jo March) she can model herself after.

No one fits into a box. Girls in popular culture are too often portrayed as passive individuals, incapable of physical activity and competition; consequently, other girls view that behaviour as normal. I love that your daughter is who she is - encourage her to stay true to herself and let know that being pretty and tough are not mutually exclusive!

My oldest daughter is beautiful, people have stopped in their tracks to look at her since she was a small child. All through school she was trying to "prove "herself as a tomboy so that people would take her seriously, not as another pretty face. She was a talented basketball player, rode wheelies on her four wheeler, could camp without a shower for days. It is unfortunate that these days at age 19 she has given up and now plays to her strength, her pretty face. People are so quick to judge, I always tell her that her true friends will never label her and to just be herself.

You are right! - She shouldn't have to choose, you're totally right. And we shouldn't have to label our kids or ourselves this way. I'm sure Maggie is fabulous no matter what she wears.

:-)

Denise