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This is pretty much the most messed up thing I've ever seen

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So remember last month when ShopRite wouldn't give Adolf Hitler his birthday cake? Have a drink, readers mom.

And in the words of Adlolf Hitler's father, New Jersey native Heath Campbell, it all became a "circus of racism," because refusing to write Hitler's name on a birthday cake is pretty much the same exact thing as refusing to let everyone use the same water fountain. Have another a drink, readers mom.

Just knowing that someone out there has named their children Adolf Hitler and -- get this -- JoyceLynn Aryan Nation, keeps me up at night, which is actually a welcome distraction from the squirrels' bazookas. And just when you thought Heath Campbell's 15 minutes of fame were long gone, Hitler's name is in the headlines again. This time, because these poor kids have been put in custody of the state. Have another drink, readers mom.

Now that we're all good and lubed up, can I get a what the feeeeeeeeeeeck? And right now I'm thinking these kids have a few more problems than say, squirrels in the ceiling, like, maybe, crazy-arse parents.

And this story is causing me to loose control of my ability to think because there's just ... so ... much ... dumbbbssckkzzzzz. And also I'm pretty sure this is some kind of metaphor for something greater or maybe it's just New Jersey because uhhhhhh. Eck.

In completely unrelated news, B and I have decided to change Rooney's name to Pol Pot

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