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When I began my blog, I only used my first name and mentioned that I live in New York City. I figured that there were probably thousands of Suzannes living in New York, and I'd be fine. My fear was less about being harassed than about my employer reading my nutty ramblings (even though they had nothing to do with my job) and deciding that my services were no longer needed. Over time, I realized that the powers that be at my work didn't know what blogging was, and if I wanted a writing career I would need to use my name, so I did. Nothing changed, although once in a while I worry when someone sends me a message telling me how much they like women with pubic hair. (There are significantly fewer Suzanne Reismans in New York City, and even fewer who blog about feminism.) I have to hope that this dude isn't going to show up on my doorstep.
These are the situations (and far, far worse) that were discussed at the workshop "Privacy, Exposure, Risk: Can you maintain safer spaces online?" Three women bloggers - Tara Hunt, Susie Bright, and Ann Crady - shared their experiences with blogging in a public way. While each had slightly different levels of exposure, all blog using their real names, and all three feel that it is no more dangerous to be public bloggers than it is to cross the street at any given moment.
In fact, Bright suggested that people who seek to change the status quo are better off blogging publicly. She said people who lived through the Communist witch hunts of the 1950s told her that, "Being out there is the best protection you can have." When you lay it on the line, it is harder to be scapegoated and people will come to your aid. She also mentioned that anyone who is trying to influence social opinion is "going to get threatened, you are going to get kooks and nuts… It means you made a difference. I feel sorry for you, but I also want to hug you for making a difference."
So how prevalent are threats to women online? Hunt cited a study from Pew that found that young women are more likely to be bullied online than boys (or, as she pointed out, at least more likely to report it). According to the report, 41% older girls and 29% of older boys said they reported they have been bullied. Yet more than half said that they were more likely to be bullied offline.
After audience member SJ asked the panelists to define "bullying," the workshop became especially insightful. Bright noted that when women express opinions online, they are often called whores and personally attacked instead of confronted with rational and logical counter arguments. Bullying uses sexism to erase legitimate discussion. She also, however, noted that however, bullying is often used as excuse to keep women offline, just like fear is used to keep women inside at night. "I wish I could put up a billboard advertising, 'Feisty women wanted; slightly tougher skin required,'" she said. Hunt recently blogged about how fear of danger keeps women quiet in her post The insidious danger of danger.
So how do we create "safe" places? Although many security measures andd precautions are in place at Maya's Mom, Crady does not want to market Maya's Mom as "safe." She said, "Nothing in life is safe; we have to make our own decisions." Bright also noted that safety can be a euphemism is for trying to shut you up. People will say, "I feel unsafe," if they don't like what you have to say, and thus we need to watch for when "safety" is used in Machiavellian ways.
The point is, do what you need to do to feel comfortable, but don't be cowed into silence. As the presentation went on, and other audience members shared their experiences with personal blogging, job searching, family and personal safety, etc., I felt like my decision to create a dummy instead of post pictures of myself in my underwear to protest the Victoria's Secret fashion show earlier this year was probably the right one for me. It's one thing to talk about your pubes (not to mention gut) hanging out of your cotton bikini underwear, but an entirely
