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I think I might be auditioning for a reality show.
Ok, let me clarify that.
I think I might be auditioning for a reality show IF the powers that be decide that a mom from Utah with flaming red hair, lines the size of the Grand Canyon in her forehead from a lifetime of over-emoting, and a disturbing love for the words, "dude," "rad," "chortle" and "ad hominem" is interesting enough to nab an audition slot at BlogHer '10 in New York City next week.
In other words?
I submitted this entry for consideration along with this photo:
We were supposed to tell them "our story" in 500 words or less.
(YOU try telling "your story" in 500 words or less. It's a damn challenge, that!)
The big brouhaha started when Ciaran Blumenfeld and Leane Vandeman announced that they were in the early development stages of a reality show featuring mombloggers and that they would be holding auditions in NYC at BlogHer '10. Bloggers flooded Twitter and the MomCasting Facebook page to find out more details.
The reaction has been mixed, to say the least.
I know when I saw it, I was torn.
I hemmed, I hawed and I sputtered. I talked EXTENSIVELY with my husband , who had all the questions you should have about kids, rights, exposure, impact, consequences, and the like.
(His I-am-the-most-logical-person-like-ever-on-the-planet response to it all? "I need more data. Without information we can't make decisions, anyway, so let's wait until we see what it entails.")
And when I saw a few bloggers I REALLY respect and love take the plunge, I decided to as well.
Call me crazy (and many do), but I think I would be very good at this.
I think my personality is pretty much a TV show unto itself.
If you know me, you get it.
If you don't well ... hmmm ... how can I best explain this to you?
While other people would watch a mouse scurry across their bedroom floor and into a laundry basket full of their delicate, girlie unmentionables and just deal with the situation, I tend to do things like yell on social media that, "OMG!!!! I AM NOW GOING TO GET HANTAVIRUS OF THE LABIA!!!!!"
(FYI: PARENTS LOVE READING THINGS LIKE THIS ON THE BLOGS OF THEIR LITTLE GIRLS.)
(Another thing that is guaranteed to get you an extra little something in your stocking at Christmas from Mom & Dad? Tweet about your Brazilian Wax.)
(For reals.)
(Of course, I suppose you could avoid this by telling your parents that the Internet is just a vast, right-wing conspiracy and hope that they never learn to use it.)
(Of course, of course, if your parents ARE vast, right-wing conspirators, they will probably just thwart you and decide that sounds awesome and use their book learnin' to get on "The Email" and then up-end your blogging life by friending you on Facebook.)
(Sigh.)
So ... yeah.
I think I'd be groovy enough at this thing.
But, but, but ...
IT IS REALITY TELEVISION!
And for most people, reality television means Kate Gosselin, "Speidi," Snooky, deceptive story lines and unsuspecting people that get thrown to the wolves as their lives are examined under a microscope while other big-haired, blinged-out women start throwing tables and screaming things at each other in public that would make a sailor blush.
In other words, reality television equals TRAIN WRECK.
Many people are hugely supportive of the idea of me on TV buuuuut ... I have plenty of concerns and so do my family, friends and my readers.
One long-time, concerned reader commented:
Loralee -- You know how much I love and adore you. You know how much I admire you, and you know how proud of you I am. That said, keep something in mind. People are f***ing crazy. I know a little about how reality shows are put together. They’re going to edit the video to be the most entertaining, and that might not put you in the best light. In fact, the editing might (and will) make you look pretty awful at times. Also, the troll who hijacked the last post is NOTHING compared to complete and total batshit crazy mouth breathing losers who will lodge nasty, vicious gossip campaigns just for the fun of watching you get dragged through the mud. Remember the reality show about the supposed millionaire who was marrying that woman? Remember what went down after that? It was only a 15-minutes of fame moment, but to this day that woman’s life is STILL a little upside down. All I’m saying is think about this *very* seriously. An automatic
