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"I do not think 'Jackie O.'s style' means what you think it means."
This week the designers had what should have been a fairly straightforward challenge, and came up empty-handed. Perhaps after weeks of having to act excited about calling people like Kristin Bell and Selma Blair "style icons" they just didn't know what to do with a real one, namely: Jackie Kennedy Onassis.
Image courtesy Lifetime
But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.
In an outfit clearly inspired by Michael C.'s winning "Hootchie Dynasty" dress, Heidi tells the designers to meet Tim Gunn to learn the challenge.
Side note while I point out that I don't even get the point of the opening sequence where Heidi sends them off to see Tim. They don't even do model selection anymore, and she comes out for 10 seconds, says "Hello" and sends them to Tim. I'm no Heidi-hater, but when they expanded to 90 minutes they clearly took advantage of the extra time to get more Tim into the show. And if anything, there is less Heidi. Nice work if you can get it, I suppose.
But since we've been sent off to Tim, let's carry on. Tim is standing in front of a all featuring projected photos of the aforementioned Jackie O.
A lot of blah blah about her being a style icon which is, at least, true. And then the challenge: To design your own take on classic American sportswear, using Jackie as the muse/inspiration.
They will have a $150 budget at Mood, and it's a one-day challenge.
These are the watchwords: Quality, taste, style, sophistication, elegance, expensive.
(And that doesn't bode well for this group, who have sent plenty of slobby or slutty stuff down the runway, but not so much that's classic and sophisticated.)
While at Mood, the producers continue to listen to my call to let us loyal viewers know that Swatch is still alive...and yes! Swatch-sighting!!! At the one-minute call.
So, what did we learn this episode?
- We learned that Valerie needs some serious perspective. Calling herself the "Susan Lucci of the show" because she's been in the top 3 or 4 times without winning seems a bit over-the-top, no?
- -We learned that several of the designers aren't really sure how sportswear differs from cocktail party wear. I'm seeing cocktail dresses from several of these hapless contestants. I'm just surprised none of them said: "But I don't play sports, how can I design sportswear?" or "I've never spent time on a yacht in the Mediterranean, how can I design for Jackie O.?"
- -We learned that, if nothing else, Andy will stick with his vision, no matter how plain wrong it is. Cargo pants. Need I say more. Cargo pants going up the model's butt, no less. I am fairly confident saying that if Jackie O. were alive in this time, she would not be succumbing to the lure of those Old Navy commercials.
- -We learned that many of these designers are quite literate, making "Crucible" references given Michael D. was making a skirt that could be a costume for the Pulitzer-prize winning play about the Salem Witch Hunt, by Arthur Miller. Paired with a sheer tank top, the designers came up with an apt description: "Prairie Home Sex Shop ... she'll harvest wheat or smack you with it."
- -We also had our bold statement of the day when someone said that "If Jackie Kennedy came back as a tranny, she'd be Mondo." Really? Hmmm.
I have to really pause and think about all of the above. What an odd group they are this season!
Then Tim comes in with one of his usual mid-episode "announcements." And the announcement is: This is NOT a runway day.
Instead, they will each have to create an additional item to go with the look. And it must be outerwear.
And...there it is: Michael C. doesn't make outerwear in Palm Springs. Seriously. Why don't you become a bikini, sarong and flip-flops designer and call it a day?
Also, if you're like Valerie and already had a jacket as part of your Classic American Sportswear look? Too bad. Make it work.
They get another $150 to spend at Mood in a mere 15 minutes. And Gretchen, proving she's quick on her feet, basically steals Michael C.'s fabric choice. [Spoiler alert: Fat lot of good it did her.]
Another Swatch sighting (thank you, producers.) They show Swatch as Christopher decides to buy...FUR!!! He feels bad. As he should. Cue sad Swatch
