Project Runway Recap: The Top 14 finally get a chance to show their vision and skills...Epic FAIL

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The challenge on last night's episode of Project Runway should have provided the designers all the tools they need to really shine:

Pick their inspiration
Pick their fabrics
Design the outfit of their choice (with the caveat that the inspiration and destination for the outfit should be NYC at night.)

I was expecting to really get a lot of great outfits and to be able to start to determine which designers I should be rooting for.

I was a little disappointed, how about you? A preponderance of dresses that looked like someone or something vomited down the front of them (in varying colors and positions) led me to that disappointment, and now I'd like to share it with you. Like drinking, one should never be disappointed alone.

We start with Heidi coming out in, and it must be said: Jeans that were actually too tight! A Heidi fashion faux pas? What is the world and PR coming to? (Meanwhile, didn't Tim Gunn look hawt in his jeans? Seriously, Tim, dress down a little more often...you got it goin' on.)

Then there was some model discussion (I never pay attention to the model discussion..."this is a competition for you too"? Whatevs.) Suede continued to speak in the third person ("Suede loves Tia") And Elisa finds herself getting used to it, which Elisa finds scary, really, since talking abotu oneself in the third person is, usually, a very very bad idea.

The designers were dumped off in various parts of the city to take pictures and find their inspiration.

Suede, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer were dropped off at Columbus Circle.
Stella, Kenley, Blayne and Keith were dropped off at Times Square.
Korto, Kelli and Joe were dropped off at the NY Public Library (the one with the big lions out front.)
Terri, Emily and Jerell were dropped off in Greenwich Village.

They all took bunches of photos, picked one to use as the inspiration, then went to Mood and spent $100 on fabric to make it come to life. They also learned that the winner of the challenge will get immunity, so it is ON, motha fuckas!

(Perhaps they don't say it quite like that, but they do all get their competitive game faces on...which for Kenley will always include bright red lipstick.)

So, what tidbits helped us get to know the designers better this episode?

-"Suede is gonna rock it!" Uttered by Suede, of course.
-Kenley's print is hideous, but no one will admit it.
-Blayne is a weird freak...with googly eyes worthy of a serial killer.
-Stella got to say "Leathah!" again, which made my evening.
-Terri's fabric and initial constructions looks like she's making a schmatke that your grandma would wear while spending the winter in Boca.
-Leanne didn't learn her less and seems to be seeing how many flaps of fabric she can add, once again to every available inch of her garment.
-Keith is really really into himself and his artistic sensibility. Which is ironic once you see his dress.

But let's get to the runway, featuring an incredibly scary looking Sandra Bernhard. Seriously, Sandra, what have you done to yourself? I'm really not trying to be catty, I'm seriously bemoaning the fact that she felt the need to smooth over and puff up her own unique beauty.

OK, enuogh drama, let's move on.

1. Keith's dress was supposed to be inspired by a ratty, rained-on, torn up magazine he saw on the ground. Oh yes, the dress really did look as pretty as that sounds! He took a white sheath and affixed tiny flaps of fabric scraps all over it, obscuring the actual sheath and making his model look like a rag drawer come to life. It was nasty, people.

2. Blayne also started with a sheath dress, this time black, and then he affixed this hideous rainbow-sherbet-colored cascade of ruffles down one side. It looked like Castro Street itself puked on her the morning after Gay Pride. And it made this tiny wraith-like model look huge. Quite a trick.

3. Joe produced a black skirt with a gold bustier with some grid lines on it. It was Bo. Ring. But at least actually wearable and flattering.

4. Emily also created a black sheath (these designers are killing me with the preponderance of sheath dresses they have produced in a mere three weeks.) Rather than Castro Street, it was a volcano that puked a bunch of orange and red ruffles down the other side of her dress. Her inspiration was a long-exposure look at car taillights, and she went way literal with that red/orange zig-zag path across and down the dress. Bleh.

5. Leanne shocked us all by actually paring back no the flaps of fabric and producing a midnight blue tiered skirt with a simpler sleeveless top. most of the drama was in the gold neck cuff the model was wearing, and all those skirt tiers did create a rather large booty effect. But it was elegant, it did look well-made, and it was a strong finish to a shaky start.

6. Jennifer sent Eponine from Les Miserables down the runway...if her dress was made of navy and champagne satin rags, and if Eponine was actually a matronly, or even pregnant, middle aged woman, instead of a young ragamuffin. Yes, big fail.

7. Jerell created an olive strapless gown with an asymmetrical, ruffled skirt that was long and included a serious train. It was fitted through the torso, and the color choice was at least not black or navy, so props to him.

8. Kelli created a very interesting outfit that included a strippy strappy short sleeve top, a bronze corset with buckles and a skirt. it was urban, it was interesting, frankly I would have scored it top 3 because at least I was intrigued.

9. Daniel sent a big, pouffy, unflattering prom dress in metallic fabric down the aisle, replete with crappy hems.

10. Kenley took her hideous fabric (more Florida tropical, like Terri) and used it on the top (which also included 3/4 sleeves and a turtleneck) and one half of her pouffy bubble skirt. The other half of the skirt was as if purple ombre fabric was 'sploding out from her waist and down that side of her body. It actually turned out prettier than I'm making it sound, although I would never wear it. Later one of the judges said it evoked the 80s...Christian Lacroix in particular, and I agree.

11. Suede created a shiny, chocolate colored halter dress with a collar and full skirt and gold belt and streaks of gold embedded in the fabric throughout. It was cute, but not incredibly creative or original.

12. Stella did her rocker chick thing with low-slung brown pants with black lace up the front and a shiny vest with a zipper front and lace-up back. Sure, it was nice, but again, ho hum.

13. Korto created a blaxploitation star's dream halter backless jumpsuit with wide legs. Pam Grier would totally rock that outfit. As a matter of fact, so would have Katherine Hepburn, so perhaps it's a bit more timeless in silhouette than I originally thought. Either way it was again, kindof blah and unoriginal.

14. Terri's outfit did come out better than i expected, but I'm not sure why everyone was gaga over it. She took her Monet-inspired print and created a backless high-necked, full-sleeved dress and put it over black pants. Whoopdidoo. Not sure why Sandra thought that outfit screamed "Don't mess with me, or I will cut you!" The model, she may be fierce, but the outfit? Dress over pants.

They pulled out:

Keith, Emily and Jennifer as the worst.
Kenley, Terri and Leanne as the best.

They complained about Emily's "explosion of ruffles"..which I'm telling you would be more accurately described as a vomiting of ruffles...and she was auf'ed!

They decided to dig on the 80s revival that was Kenley and gave her the win.

And I continue to be challenged trying to pick a favorite, although this week i think I would have gone with Kelli.

How about you?

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