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And I bet I'm the ONLY one to pull out that bon mot, right?
Last week, Michael C. shocked the world, or at least his fellow Project Runway designers, by winning his second challenge. Even designers who don't make a full-time job out of being nasty seem to find Michael fair game. Instead of a lightning rod, he's a nasty rod. Which sounds really dirty. I'm sorry.
So when Michael C. says that "None of them were happy" when he won, and that it hurt, I had to wonder: Was he surprised?
Andy gets in one last dig about how Michael C., is the weakest, with a lack of skills, but even he has to concede: "I guess it's working." Um, yes it is, so maybe you all should take it down a notch.
I wouldn't have given Michael the win either time he won, either. BUT I would probably spend more time wondering what I'm missing and less time deciding that the judges you were kissing up to and admiring a few weeks ago have suddenly lost all brain function.
In other news: April has to move in with the beyotches.
We go to the runway, where MC Hammer -- oh, oops, I'm sorry, I mean Heidi Klum -- is wearing her most bizarre outfit yet. I swear those were Hammer pants, right? And also: WTF????
Heidi tells them to meet Tim and a special guest "at the marina." Um, if this was set in San Francisco, that would mean something. I'm not sure there's one "the marina" in NYC, am I wrong? And then she skitters her way off stage looking for her back-up dancers.
- Michael C.: "I live in Palm Springs. I got this."
- Michael D.: "I loves resorts, I loves vacation. I got this."
- Mondo: "I don't go on vacation. Sitting in my underwear is my resort wear."
Um, do these guys go to formal dances and walk the red carpet when they're not on this show? Do they wear ball gowns, or mod '60s-inspired dresses, in Mondo's case? No. But they design them anyway, no? What makes them think their personal affinity for vacations or proximity to resorts is the harbinger of their ability to do this challenge? It's like when contestants on reality shows talk about how much they "want this," as though that's the criteria.
Break for HP plug: Blah blah blah Ginger!! Blah blah blah.
(Old Far Side reference. Anyone?)
Armed with their own personal affinity for resorting in hand, the designers head to Mood with $150 and 30 minutes to spend.
"Think resort," says Tim.
- Andy is thinking glamourous bathing suit and coverup.
- April is thinking taking a resort cruise to an asylum. Ooohkay.
- Mondo is thinking boycut bikini with windbreaker and visor.
- Ivy is advised to think with her heart and stomach.
- Michael D? Well, Michael D is "dark." I personally never got that about him, but apparently: He's dark. He's moody. He's intense. In other words: Love HIM!!!! (Or if you're me, you're wondering how a guy who's so dark is the one talking about being a puppy with his head out the window of the yacht on which they were sailing.)
And in the highlight of the episode (no really, the absolute honest-to-god highlight...seriously...no irony allowed here): Swatch the Dog is here for the five-minute call, yay!!!!
I swear the producers have read my recaps and realize that people really need to know that Swatch is still alive. He's like our own Project Runway talisman.
Thank you Mood!
And back to the workroom, where Tim has a bag. They all hate the bag.
The "twist" is that they are all going to be put in teams of two. The designers will have to execute the designs of their partners. Because designers don't make their own work. Each designer will be held responsible for the quality of work of her partner, who is executing her design. This is making some of them very nervous -- and is making all of them hope that they don't get Michael C.
The teams are:
- Valerie/Andy
- April/Christopher
- Casanova/Gretchen
- Ivy/Michael D.
- And Mondo draws Michael C., responding with a sarcastic and audible "Yay!" Nice.
Cut to Mondo, who seems like he'd be the meekest, nicest little guy around, being mean to Michael: "Your construction is awful, and you have immunity. I can't believe you don't have a ruler." And yet, can I point out that Mondo doesn't sketch, he makes notes?
I mean, neither of them uses spit marks to mark hem lines,
