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Sparkle (0)
aka: It's Not Easy Being Teen
Project Runway was back with another strong episode, this time creating prom dresses for a bunch of Catholic school "girls" from New Jersey. Once again the designers freak out over not designing for women who are 6 feet tall and Size 0. Going so far as to wondering whether the silhouette of their models behind the Project Runway scrim mean they were designing fir "Oopma Loompas". Nice.
Throughout the course of the episode we were treated to photographic evidence of the designers in their high school days (Kevin was scary, but straight damnit!!; Kit was the perfect little prom princess, and Sweet P looked just adorable as could be...pre-ink, she's about as All-American Girl as one gets, I guess.)
Throughout the course of the episode we were also treated to moments of quiet satisfaction, like:
-Snooty Victorya being told that the girl who "chose" her as her designer really just had last choice.
-Christian getting more than one taste of his own snarky medicine from his client, a designer Mini-me.
-Kevin making the fatal decision not to hem, and Chris reminding us (in case we needed it) that this was always bad news, and that the judges always notice.)
-Over-use of the term "age-appropriate", with not one person bothering to point out that teen girls at the mall on weekends are the definition of the word "hootchie".
The drama was really only around poor little Christian, who just wanted to curl up in a little ball because he was forced to encounter someone as obnoxious as he is. but Tim told him he was "too talented to give up", so he got up off the floor got to work adding more beads and lace to his chocolate brown monstrosity.
Victorya's beads were bigger than his beads, as she really got out the Bedazzler and got to work affixing big crystal gems to the front of her dress. Cute, per the judges? Or tacky late night informercial, per moi? What did you think?
But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's get on with the show:
1. Sweet P kicked things off with an elegant, champagne-colored halter dress with ruching on the halter top, and a smooth silhouette from the empire waist on down. There was a bit of weirdness going on with the top, especially in back, but I thought this was pretty and classy and definitely achieved the Grecian-Hollywood Glamour the client wanted.
2. Victorya came next with my favorite trend, the bubble dress in electric blue. (In case you don't read my recaps all the time, I hate bubble dresses and bubbles skirts...I think they are the lamest trend ever. OK, well maybe not ever. Jillian in her Mork & Mindy suspenders* might have fallen victim to that, but one of the worst, how abut that?) This was cute on the girl, but not all that. And I'm sorry, but did I not make clear that the preponderance of large crystals on the front neck piece did not make me go ooh and ahh? Color me confused by the positive reactions from the judges.
3. Chris offered a citron green gown with a gathered and ruched wrap top, straps, and a slit down one leg.The color did pop, but the fit cold have been better, The back featuring ribbons and silver rings was the most interesting part. But certainly didn't make them question his "taste level."
4. Kevin sent his client's mom down the runway. Oh wait, no, he just made his client look like her mom. It was a red halter dress in the same style as Marilyn's Seven Year Itch subway grate dress, but the proportions seemed all wrong for the girl inside the dress. The length was dowdy, the top made her look saggy, and his styling made her look like she was attempting to go as a campy Joan Collins from Dynasty for Halloween. And yes, no hem. Cue ominous music.
5. Jillian bored me with a sea green dress with 80's style color block segments on a bodice that didn't fit with her usual impeccable tailoring. The back of the dress was cute, but the front was ho-hum. I struggled to write even this much about it.
6. Christian. Poor Christian. He sent a brown cream puff down the runway, overstuffed with tulle and lace and beads and left it inexplicably shorter in back. It was quite quite ugly, and so very unflattering. It was definitely auf-worthy.
7. Kit presented a royal blue dress with a banded halter top and color block bodice, which made
