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Subtitle: Alas, poor Ben, I did not know him at all!
Sub-subtitle: Ben, the two of us need ... wonder who the hell you are no more!
Oh, um, did I mention: SPOILER ALERT!
Jonathan's design. Image: Lifetime
Anyway, this was this season's "Garnier challenge," which really just means they find an excuse to pretend there's some special hair element, so they can work in even more sponsor messages than they typically do. Boring, yawn, let's move on.
So, because Garnier has some natural hair care product, the challenge is to be inspired by one of the four elements from nature: Earth, Air, Fire or Water. It's a pretty wide open challenge, and they have $150 to spend at Mood after 30 minutes of sketching.
Is it just me, or has Mood been getting a bit of the short shrift this season? I mean other than the Mysterious Ubiquitous Dog episode.
So, here's what we learned this week:
- To Jay, "Air" means "tornado"
- Jonathan, "Air" means "laughter"
- Seth Aaron, "Air" means "midnight"
- Maya, "Water" means "sirens" (the Homeric kind)
- Ben, "Water" means "sharks"
- Mila, "Earth" means anything but black and white color blocking
- Emilio, "Earth" means "mud" or "algae" or something like that
- Anthony, somewhat depressingly, "Fire" means "ashes"
- Amy, completely inexplicably, "Fire" means "hairy tits." Oh, yeah, I said it! (And so did one of the designers, only I didn't write down which one, D'oh!)
The designers all got really ambitious, which meant they all got really stressed.
My favorite part of the entire episode was when Tim was shepherding the designers to the runway and said, "Oh! Ben!" and Ben said, "Yeah, I'm still here."
SEE, EVEN TIM GUNN FORGETS ABOUT BEN.
So, on to the runway. The judges tonight are MagicallyPregnantHeidi (who was looking particularly lovely in this episode), MK, ninagarcia and French designer Roland Mouret.
As always, click on the link under the designer's name to view their creation.
1. Maya
Maya's siren looked like she got caught in some polluted water where decaying kelp got entangled in her arms. OK, well, really it was this gray minidress. All tight from neck to hem, but then there were her somewhat trademark kelp ruffles down the sleeves. I thought it was drab and boring, and a depressing take on water. But apparently I was wrong.
2. Jay
Jay was channeling Erte, or Edith Head, or some other costume-y designer. It was a beige and black striped top with equally striped leggings with a big chiffon train and a tall stripe-y turban. Actually, I think Jay was channeling Ursula from "A Little Mermaid."
3. Ben
Oh, Ben. Let's leave your shark concept aside. You attempted a suit, having never made one. A white suit (always flattering). A white suit with a truly bizarre thong seaming effect, front and back. Also, really really flattering. No, really. A white suit with a bronze-ish tank top, so a sort of drab and sad color combo. And a bolero jacket that was so tight it made your rail-thin model look like she had back fat. Sort of the fourfecta of suckage. (Can I coin "fourfecta"? Will you credit me if you start using it?) The one time you finally decide to make an impression? It's an incredibly bad one.
4. Anthony
As I said above, Anthony's "Fire" inspiration was actually the aftermath of a fire...smoke and ashes. So, he created a black and gray gown, with a bodice featuring asymmetrical folds. The inspiration was suspect, but he did commit to it, and the gown was pretty.
5. Mila
I have to say that, Philistines that we are, my viewing companion and I liked Mila's outfit when it came down the runway. OK, so the charcoal full-leg pants and taupe long-sleeve turtleneck were not earth-shattering, but the asymmetrical vest with a granite-like texture was pretty damn cool! What, obviously, do we know?
6. Jonathan
Jonathan created a lovely one-shoulder minidress that was like a confection being worn by his model. It looked like a print, but really he layered different fabrics and then cut away pieces to create a kind of silhouette effect. I keep wanting to write "lovely", because it's really just the perfect word for the whole thing.
7. Amy
I mean, what can one say? This was a black jumpsuit with a built-in shelf for the model's artificial hair extensions posing as her boobs. This was just a very weird disaster. And, really, when you add these to the clown pants
