PS: My Life is Ridiculous.

...10:15 all the kids are finally asleep when my dogs go crazy and I hear a truck on the gravel road that I don’t recognize. I know the sound of my neighbor’s trucks, this wasn’t one of them. My dogs don’t bark at the neighbor’s cars either.

With all the ruckus from the dogs, the girls both got up. Rosie looked out the window and told me it was a pick-up truck, then another pick-up truck pulled into the driveway behind it. Well our door doesn’t lock, because I live in the middle of nowhere and no one locks their doors here, so I was briefly panicked. I thought I should listen to the landlady’s voice mail just in case. Ah ha! She said the delivery men were coming late.

What delivery men come at 10:20 on Friday night? Why don’t they come in a business box truck with Crusty Appliance Store written on it?

Here I am completely alone out in the sticks, where no one can hear me scream, not even my far off neighbors. It’s so dark outside you can’t see your hand in front of your face, and two unlabeled old trucks are outside with men getting out of them.

Bravery. I must have The Bravery. Muster as much as possible and carry on.


So here’s where it gets pretty funny.

The boss came to the kitchen door. I opened it and he peeked cautiously past me to the inside of the cabin. Lord knows where he thought he was, driving way out here in the dark and coming down this gravel road.

I let him in and showed him the fridge, explained that I didn’t realize they were coming so late. I was kind of pissy and he was a little scared! Hah. I bet he has a wife who gets angry at him, he knew how to act. He was a nice guy, really.

I was in my pajamas holding a screaming baby, and I had to quickly take the remaining things out of the broken fridge. I had been using it like a giant cooler. That was frustrating. I piled all the food on the counter and table, quickly trying to sort out what things were still cold enough and what to toss so I didn’t get it all mixed up. He was standing there awkwardly waiting on me.

Then four other large guys came inside the cabin. Why does it take so many men to move one fridge?! These were huge guys too! I felt short.

I realized later they must have come en masse because they were afraid to come out here in the dark. I live deep in redneck territory. Funny, funny.

Two of them pulled the old fridge out and immediately a huge rat popped up from some rotten floor boards. The fridge left standing water behind it. I told the landlady it was leaking, but whatever, not my problem really.

This rat popped up and all five of the guys yelled, “OMG A RAT!” The rat freaked out and hopped into the back of the old refrigerator and hid.

Then they turned to look at me, standing there in a too large old Batman t-shirt, hair in a messy bun, wearing pajama pants with a hole in them, and holding screaming Henry. I didn’t know what to do. So with a straight face I blurted out, “Oh yeah, Templeton. He comes with the fridge. Take him with you.”

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