Punctuated by puking

The first time I vomited on purpose I was about 17. I was at a party, drinking with my friends. We had eaten a ton of food before this party. It may have been New Year's Eve or there about.

I had an overwhelming desire to "get the alcohol" out of my system. I walked outside, in the freezing cold, and proceeded to "make myself" throw up. It was amazingly easy. I felt great afterwards and continued partying with my friends.

Throughout my 20's, I used this technique as a "hangover" preventative. Puke before it hits you. I found that I still maintained a level of intoxication that allowed me to dance like wild, talk to strangers and laugh my brains out.....but almost no next day...I wish I was dead....hangover.

I am not bulimic. I do not use vomiting as a weight loss technique. I do not have a vomiting "problem". It is easy for me to vomit. I have no problem helping my vomiting along by sticking my finger down my throat. When I am ill, 9 times out of 10, I will throw up. Many people I know do not vomit. EVER. Many people I know think vomiting is the END. It has always worked for me.

My daughter, Grace, is also a vomiter. She is 11 so it is neither a weight loss technique, nor a sobering technique for her. She is unaware that those are even options. Grace had a stroke when she was born. Before she was diagnosed, I just knew that my tiny firstborn was unable to keep anything in her tummy. She would eat (drink), and within minutes, projectile vomit everywhere. This happened 3-4 times a day, every day. Initially she was diagnosed with a form of gastritis. That was not the case. The vomiting for Grace was actually 'infantile spasms', aka: seizures. Throughout her childhood, after the seizures had been treated and stopped, Grace was my vomiting child. If she was sick, she was vomiting. That is still the case. My younger daughter, Lea, does everything in her power to AVOID vomiting. EVERY. THING.

Over the last few years, as I have matured, (about time I know), I have used 'vomiting as a sobering technique', less and less. Nonetheless, I am still vomiting quite a lot.

I have a very fragile digestive system. It is unpredictable in its fragility as well. I always have TUMS in my handbag but many times, a refreshing vomit is the only treatment that really works.

I spent the last 4 days on an Easter trip to Washington D.C. All told, including the first episode on the plane ride, I vomited 6 times. My gut was in an uproar almost constantly. If it was not burning pain, it was crippling cramps. I was a joy and a half to be around. Just kidding. Save for my early exit from a dinner party on Friday night, no one even noticed or knew.

My husband, who has seen me vomit pretty much everywhere, thinks it may be time to go to the doctor? Nothing is wrong with me though. I am just sensitive. I have had real diagnosable conditions with my gastric system over the years. I had a minor ulcer from the massive quantities of aspirin I took for my RA; I also have a very lazy system when it comes to digesting food. There is actually a test that measures the speed of your digestion!

I am S---L---O---W!

I predict that I will just continue plodding along. I will keep my close relationship with vomiting and I will undoubtedly have it with me on many more adventures and travels. It could be the new, rich foods. It could be the change of environment. It could just BE. I know I am happy to be home. Drinking MY coffee. Eating MY food. Sleeping in MY bed. Vomiting in MY toilet.

As I write this blog, I am drinking a large glass of water and eating a goblet FULL of jelly beans. The man that drove us to the airport yesterday told us that the key to good immune system health is JELL-O. Gelatin. He said if you don't eat JELL-O, pop 5 gummy bears. What kind of amazing immune health do you imagine I am encouraging with 50 jelly beans? I feel great. Not even a tad bit nauseous. No hyper gag here, I can swallow my jelly beans whole...I never would, but I super could.

You learn something new every day. Hope I taught you something. And I hope no one feels sick over it.


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