The Pursuit of Happiness: It’s all my ‘fault’, and that’s the good news

In today’s IVillage Daily Essentials, they have an article about the Pursuit of Happiness.  In a nut shell it states that men are happier as they age than women and follows with comments from various women.  Women gave a lot of different reasons why that might be so, pertaining to their married, children, job or financially situation.  But one group of women seemed to agree that happiness is an inside job.  It is about how you handle what life throws at you and who you choose to hold responsible for your circumstances.


Imagine if no one could mess with your happiness but you…if you were in complete control of your own destiny.  If your unhappiness was all your fault. Would this appeal to you? 


Many believe we are responsible for everything that has and will happen to us in our lifetime.  There are no victims.  We don’t need to change somebody else to make our life better, we just need to change ourselves.  For me this is a very liberating perspective, it puts me in control.  It becomes all about changing or accepting me.  I have choices and I will celebrate or suffer the consequences of my choices. 


This is the message that you get from 12 Step programs…keep the focus on yourself, keep you side of the street clean and of course, the Serenity Prayer.


It is what ‘The Secret’ promotes: ‘we are in control of our thoughts and actions and by focusing on what we have to be grateful for and believing that we will attain what we strive for, we can and will manifest anything we want in life’. 


Buddhist believe that developing happiness and fulfilling our dreams lies in our ability to never give up or succumb to negativity; and to focus on having compassion for and cherishing others.


You can read or listen to Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson and countless others; the same message comes through.  It is all within our power of perception and choice to be happy, truly happy, regardless of what life throws our way.


It’s all on us, and that is the good news.


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