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I write Stirrup Queens when I'm not reading other people's blogs, cooking, or chasing after my twins. I'm the author of two books: Life from Scratch,...
 
 
 
 

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VIDEO: Putting Kids on the Internet. Funny or Frightening?

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The million dollar blogging question: where does your story end and another person's story begin?

CNET has a great article today examining all sides of the issue, with strong arguments made by everyone on how to find your own personal line.

In the ongoing parenting wars, bloggers who place their children on the Internet--in the form of pictures, cute stories, or videos--often receive scathing commentary from those on the other side of the debate, including accusations that they're exploiting their kids or damaging them socially down the line. After all, anything that goes on the Internet has a funny way of living on forever, in a highly searchable form.

At the same time, people want to share the amusing and touching things their children do--and children themselves often want to participate in the online world, especially when they're attune to their parent's usage of blogs and social media. Placing a video of a child baking or pictures of your kids on the ranch is not a true safety transgression as some parenting advocates make it out to be (at least, no more unsafe than allowing your child to be photographed for their yearbook and have that book go out to anyone who wishes to order a copy).

Tell us in the comment section where and how you draw your personal line.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her book is Navigating the Land of If.

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Melissa Ford 5 pts

True. Though so much of how they absorb those lessons are out of the parents' control.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

From teaching high school, I've found 16 to be around the tipping point where they understand to look for the consequences of their actions before they do something. Which is not to say that they make fantastic decisions, but at least the average child is cognizant of "think before you post."

We let our son (who is five) make his own blog because he was chomping at the bit. It's a private blog and very few people have access, but he likes to write out his thoughts on cars and post pictures. Part of me is really proud of his computer skills. Part of me lives in fear :-)

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

PrintVisor 5 pts

It is the parents job to monitor their children's internet behavior and teach them from right and wrong. It will only get harder in the future as more content is easier to get at and younger kids will be given iPhone and iPad type devices. This is why parents must teach kids early as to what is acceptable and what is not.

DeanaBirks 5 pts

I don't say anything about my kids that would be embarrassing and they read posts while they're still in draft. I do not use their names because I don't want someone to Google them someday and find an old blog post that was funny when they were little. They are chomping at the bit to become vloggers but so far I have not let them (they are 9 and almost 12; I think they should be, oh...in college or something first).

Deana Birks
Eat. Drink. Read. Blog. ( http://www.deanabirks.com )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

I've actually skipped watching it because the description didn't sit right with me. I didn't think I'd laugh with it.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

An interesting point at the end--about focusing only on the negative leaves you swimming in the negative longer.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

alyssaroyse 5 pts

it's probably safe to say they weren't "real" friends after all! :)

____________

AlyssaRoyse.com ( http://www.alyssaroyse.com )

JUST CAUSE Magazine ( http://www.justcausemag.com/site/pastIssues.html )

anitafaye 5 pts

That clip of the little boy in the back seat, still out of it, after a dentist visit? Makes me cringe. So vulnerable. Everybody else thinks it's funny. I wish the parents had kept their smiles private.

Tiffany at NOH 5 pts

My daughter is only 16 months old so she can't tell me yet whether she's ok with being featured on my blog from time to time, but I try not to share anything in my letters to her every month that would be inappropriate or make her resent me later on. They're documentations of milestones and happenings in her life that past month and hopefully something she can look back at later and appreciate.

Yes, you have to be mindful of what you write because there are just a lot of sick people in this world...and seem to be more every day. But I think that one can show their pride in their children without making it into something everyone will later regret. Besides, the way I see it is, if you only focus on the bad and negative moments of life, you'll only end up with more of them.

No Ordinary Homestead ( http://www.noordinaryhomestead.com ) -- It's about freedom.

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It's so sad that you lost friends over that because they missed the point in your post--that you're not mining their particularly lives and mocking them, but that if you have captured the human condition and made a character that resonates with someone, you've captured the exclusivity of what makes a person....them.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Melissa Ford 5 pts

That is always an option. And I'm not sure why more people don't make their uploads private and only share them with the people they intend.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

alyssaroyse 5 pts

For me, a lot changed when my daughter was old enough to read, but not old enough to understand the nitty gritties...

But at the end of the day, my rule remains that if I wouldn't want myself discussed about in a particular way, then I will not discuss my daughter or anyone else in that way.

And I DO NOT ever post where my daughter is, what she does etc..... (Unless, of course, you count the bits on the evening news lately, in which she's being an activist for her toxic school.... http://bit.ly/9P3Xp4 )

The place I get more stuck is about my adult relationships, which are fascinating to me, and which I think others can learn from. I wrote a post about trying to find that line..... http://wp.me/pHKCx-4d And lost a couple friends over it. :(

____________

AlyssaRoyse.com ( http://www.alyssaroyse.com )

JUST CAUSE Magazine ( http://www.justcausemag.com/site/pastIssues.html )

SouthBayRantsnRaves 5 pts

I don't have any kids but if I did I'd like to document their life on tape so we could all look back on it. As far as posting it on YouTube, I'd make it a private acct. I wouldn't want weirdos seeing my kids online.

~Bianca~

Blogger

South Bay Rants n Raves ( http://southbayrantsnraves.wordpress.com/ )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Between flip cameras and digital cameras and blog posts and Tweeted moments...I'm not sure any of these kids will be able to forget their childhood :-)

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

MomentswithMegan 5 pts

I don't have any kids, so I won't say whether I think it's right or wrong to put your kids on there. That's your choice. A lot of trolls don't seem to understand that, though.

Anyway, maybe I'm weird because I wish I would've been born when these kids were born so that I could look at an archive of my life on the internet.

Then again, I also hope that when I die and go to Heaven, God has a box-set of videos of my life so I can watch it all over again.

-Megan Anne

Moments with Megan ( http://www.momentswithmegan.com )

( http://www.momentswithmegan.com )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

Oh, knowing that it could swing both ways--that THEY could write about ME--makes me pretty damn circumspect.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Lavender Luz 6 pts

...I had never before thought about my kids blogging about me!

Oh, I do remember reading this post ( http://www.milehighmamas.com/2008/06/26/someday-ou... ). About kids in 2022 blogging about THEIR parents. I found it hilarious.

Drawing my own personal line is an ongoing process that gets defined again and again with every post, update, and tweet. I'd rather err on the side of privacy because that's the only direction that's reversible.

Weebles Wobblog ( http://www.weebleswobblog.com/ ) ... yin-yanging my way.@LavLuz
Examiner ( http://www.examiner.com/x-13701-Open-Adoption-Exam... )for Open Adoption.
( http://twitter.com/LavLuz )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

It would be a lot easier if you could ask AND they understood the consequences of posting something online. Actually, this makes for an interesting turn-around: what if the kids are more comfortable posting online than the parents--and are posting things about their parents?

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

Deb Rox 5 pts

I have to say I feel lucky that my kids were teens when I started to publish online, and could ask them. They defined pretty strict limits, one more strict than the other, so we set that as the bar. No names, no videos, approval on embarrassing stories. And together we had lots of convos as a family and with some of their friends when one young friend of theirs had a huge school and personal crisis over a video his mom had posted (and ultimately pulled) of a somewhat embarrassing and humorous but very benign episode from his younger days. I think those of you with younger children may be raising a peer group who are more used to being published, and I know other teens who seem to be fine with being blogged by their moms, so I think personal mileage varies greatly.

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )