Putting your undies on backwards

I used to think that starting my day by putting my underwear on backwards was a bad omen.  I was destined to have a horrible day.  Now I try and look at it positively.  For a split second, I thought my ass got fat.  Then imagine my relief when I found it was not the case and I had just put my panties on backwards.  Hoorah! No fat ass for me!  What good news!  So I finish getting dressed and pop an extra toaster strudel in the toaster.  I may have to jog an extra mile later, but in that moment, I just don’t care.

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