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I'm not typically a "bling" kind of girl. I drive a five-year-old Honda Civic. I don't get manicures or pedicures. I've never been to a spa, tanning bed, or visited a professional masseuse. I don't wear a lot of makeup (much less worry about the difference between a "day" and a "night" look). I wear my hair long, so I only go to a salon about four times a year for upkeep. I don't remember the last time I bought an item of clothing for myself that cost over $30 (I've been downsizing and getting rid of things, not adding to what I already have). And I go through spurts with wearing jewelry. Sometimes I'll wear it regularly, and then I'll go weeks without wearing anything other than an occasional necklace to work.
I've said on multiple occasions that my two sisters are much more glamorous than I. Just recently I told my older sister that I almost always wear pants to work, so I wear the same pair of black shoes pretty much every day. (It's easy; I keep them under my desk and then I wear my sneakers whenever I leave the office.) I believe she was genuinely appalled.
The thing is, I really don't care about all of that stuff. I try to take care of my body and my appearance, but I don't go out of my way to draw attention to myself. And right now, another part of the "non-bling" lifestyle is simply about living within my means. I work for a nonprofit and I live in an area with a high cost of living. If I had more money to spend on the bling? Sure, I might be persuaded to part with my cash on a more regular basis.
But what would I want as a gift? Would I want the bling, or would I prefer to have something sentimental?
When I think about this question, I don't just think about what I'd want. I think about the situation of the person from whom I'd be receiving this gift. Just like I wouldn't go into debt to buy myself some bling, I wouldn't expect someone else to purchase something for me that was outside of their means. But sure, if the guy had some extra cash he'd like to part with for my sake, I wouldn't tell him no.
There's certainly nothing wrong with getting a sentimental gift, regardless of the amount of money a person has. (And by "sentimental" I'm not necessarily talking homemade or even something that takes a lot of effort; it can be as simple as remembering something you might have mentioned months before, filing the information away and then bringing the gift forward at a later time without you having to remind him. We all like to know that the other person is paying attention.)
Maryam posted her family's wish list here on BlogHer, where alongside some pricey gift items she gave her husband the option of taking the sentimental "second choice." Here's the first one on the list:
1) Ms. Pac-Man Arcade game: $2599.99 at Costco
You probably are wondering, just like Robert, why I want this arcade game so much. The truth is I grew up during the 80s and spent a lot of my free time at the arcades with my friends during high school. Ms. Pac-Man was my favorite game and when I play it, I feel like that carefree teenager again. I know it is not wise to spend that much money on a game, and I doubt we’ll ever get one, but I can’t help and wish for it.1) a. As an alternative to Ms. Pac-Man arcade game, which is what I have always wanted, Robert can promise to spend an hour a day with me. I would love to go for walks everyday with him. We can hold hands and walk our worries away.
How sweet is that? I imagine Maryam wouldn't give her husband sentimental alternatives to fancy gift items if she didn't really mean it. Like her, I know I'd much rather feel loved and appreciated than be able to admire, for instance, some fancy rock on my finger. (The best of both worlds? The bling and the feeling of love and appreciation. But we have to be realistic.)
So what about you? Which gift would you
