Quick poll: comparing dogs to children - really THAT bad?

People shouldn't be villified for their opinions.

But then Betsy did ask. And in the generic scope of this question i don't think there is a comparison.

Now that i read Betsy's blog, i would be the first to hop on a child free flight. But then again, no yapping dogs either. :) No bad BO. No drinking slobs and so on...So its a good point but then must be instituted for all nuisances to all people.

Betsy's off the cuff comment, very funny i might add, ruffled the feathers and hence has to take the heat.  Too bad the mother who was "with fangs" doesn't realize the beauty of finesse. Nor the "live and let live" mantra.

I agree  too, if a child doesn't need to pay, then why should a dog? And this has nothing to do with "love" of the animal/child.It has to do with weight, safety, space, etc. All of which in my estimation if a mom can hold a child in her lap, why can't a yorkie owner do the same? Sure does open a whole mess of worms.. 

jojo

www.goodnessgraciousacres.com

But I disagree with your last statement, at least for all people and in all contexts. I'm all for your personal opinion, and yours is even more valid (in my humble one. ;) ) as a pet person. But if others disagree or make (again, in my opinion) harmless comparisons, they shouldn't be vilified.

I really think that if "live and let live" was employed more often on relatively harmless issues, we'd all have a lot more energy left over for the things that really can be harmful to us and to the world at large.

Laurie

 I am blessed. I have had 5 healthy children and now have 4 grandchildren.

 And there are people who make their dog/cats their child/ren if they can't have any for whatever reason. What's wrong with that? Better than sitting there and dwelling on it.

Viola

~ "Beat me with the truth, don't torture
me with lies"

I began the thread after being "flamed" on a mommy message board in Phoenix ( http://excruciatinglynormal.com/node/597 ) for committing the ultimate sin of discussing airline accommodations for dogs in the same thread as that of children. The original post on ArizonaMoms.Com ( http://www.arizonamoms.com ) was taken down after a particularly cantankerous mommy informed me that people who make such comparisons should not have children and if we did, we would likely harm them. Good times.

 Heck sometimes even i take offense to the way some people treat their animals. I mean the un-realism of some of the things that go on. Its our society that has now created this dilemma. Would you spend 20,000 on a surgery for your dog? Of course you would for your child. So to me it's a no brainer. But there are some people out there that would spend that kind of money on their pup, or horse, etc. I just saw a TV commercial for doggie dentistry. ha. And cosmetic surgery for youdog is on the rise.  I guess it all has to do with what you buy into. Or have the money for. But there is no comparison of dog to a child. I'm curious what prompted this poll? and the article or comment that happened

I have 30 animals here. At times i treat them like my children. Heck, i just spent two weeks nursing my buck back to health, in the house. 24/7 I got up every two hours in the night to dose him with meds. My kitchen looked like a pharmacy. but in the end he's still an animal. And if needed can be  put down. And at one point taking him to gainesville to get the necessary blood transfusion that he needed. I opted not to... do you opt out of that with a child? of course not. By my opting out of that could have killed my buck. (it didn't)... but there in lies the difference. a huge difference.

I chose to have animals. i also chose to not have children. but i don't compare the two. Others might that know me and how i care for them. But in the end? Your love for you animal shouldn't be compared to the love for a child.

jojo

www.goodnessgraciousacres.com

have babies..I have seen that too many times...like you can't look after and love your pets because you have a child?  We had cats before kids and have both AND a dog and we all love em all

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com ( http://www.wetcoastwomen.com )

wish the mommy message board-dwelling ladies in the Phoenix area were as well-rounded as you gals! :)

This is perhaps a scandalous statement but although I love the two children I reared completely and dearly and delight in who they are, I could also (and did) imagine life as a great aunty but non-parent.  Things just turned out differently than I expected.

Parents don't have a monopoly on love or even loving children.  Children need as many caring and principled adults as they can get in their lives.  And we could all use the love of animals.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

But then again, most likely the services for children in those neighborhoods with the dog bakery etc. are more likely to be maintained much better than those in the surrounding community that has nothing for kids or dogs, because that is the terrible disparity that exists in these situations. (I live just outside of Washington so I see it quite clearly.)

Pet care and amenities is one of the highest dollar industries now, and although I don't have statistics, from what I've read and learned as the contributing editor for pets here at BlogHer over the past couple of years, it's higher in areas where people have fewer children. Which kind of goes back around to the original point, and yes, I agree with you - love what and who you love.

And the comments I referenced don't just come from those I'd consider mean-thinking, if perhaps narrow-minded. Many parents genuinely believe that non-parents are missing something critical out of life, which may or may not be true for me...I'm still working it all out. : )

Thanks for the reply.

Laurie

but again, it's the context that matters. It sounds like your original question was tongue-in-cheek, to a point, and perhaps taken a little too seriously. Like I said, I can't remember when I've ever heard the dog/cat-to-human child comparision made literally.

Laurie

to children even if you don't have them.  So anyone who would tell someone some of the stuff you've mentioned above is mean-thinking and narrow-spirited.

Listen, I think we sometimes write about experiences with people who 've made the extreme comments or insensitive comments.

I must say that I sometimes feel priorities are whack when one community has a dog bakery and dog playgrounds that are maintained, and a few blocks away there is a community that doesn't have a bakery (for anyone) and who parks are often in disrepair.  At any rate, love who you love - human or pet. 

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

There is a saying that you can tell more about a man by the way he treats his animals and his subordinants than you can by the way he treats you.

I'm way more concerned about the parenting of people who either neglect or are extreme disciplinarians of their pets than I am of those who over-personify them. I figure if you can love a pet that much, aren't you likely to love and care for your baby even more?

Sara Faivre-Davis

downtoearthblog.com and wildtyperanch.com

I'll be one of these mommies in October or November (God willing). But I have felt like an alien from another planet when it comes to this issue. You articulated what I was wondering: why do moms CARE if dog people discuss their dog love in the same discussion with baby love? Indeed, what does that subtract from them?

And I mean that very seriously, so no, it is not the same.

This might sound cranky but it's not personally directed at anyone, it's just a reflection on this human/pet parent dichotomy that seems to recur every now and again. Clearly, the responsibility for a human being is heavy-duty and (it should be tacitly understood but I'll say it anyway) a child is not an animal in all but the species definition. However, the number of parents who have made assumptions about and comments to me over my adult lifespan of what I do not understand about life, the human condition, my own psyche, and anyone under the age of 18 because I am not a parent is much larger than the number of times I ever made a tangential "childlike" reference to my dog. 

I never referred to myself as a "pet parent" nor to my dogs as "fur babies," but yeah, I called them my baby dogs. Yes, I sat up nights with my dog, many times throughout his life with epilepsy. I didn't send him off to kindergarten or help him learn to drive, so an elder caregiver, I guess I was. And Cesar Milian can say whatever he wants, because it's his millionaire world, but my level of love for that animal was involuntary. I didn't plan it.

I just don't think that a parent should really care if this is something pet caregivers consider a "parental" role, because maybe it is for them, whatever that means. I NEVER hear it used to diminish parents of human children. The "pet as child" comparison takes nothing away from parents (or at least it shouldn't.) It just seems to offer something to people who have pets (the vast majority of whom I believe, if you asked them, would say they honestly don't believe they're parenting on the level or the scope that a human being would require, and if they do, what can I say? There's a few in every bunch.)

I hear people call their cars, boats and hobby projects their "babies" and think that's kind of insane, but again, says nothing about me or you or anyone else but them. Finally, and to tangentially answer your question, on the list of things for parents to be concerned about, this - if I may put myself informally in those shoes for a moment - should be very, very far down.  Pet people are a generally peaceable bunch...I'd rest secure in knowing that the hands that rock the cradles, as I've been told, rule the world - the people who hold the leashes and the carriers just have their own little corner of it.

Laurie 

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )

But surely you wouldn't tell someone who disagrees with you about comparing dog love to baby love that they shouldn't have children and that if they do, they will likely neglect and possibly kill the child due to bad parenting. That's a bit of a stretch.

I don't compare my children to the dogs and cats of pet-lovers so I haven't taken too kindly to the comparisons dogs and cat lovers have made to children.  Owning/loving a pet is not the same rearing/loving a child in my opinion.  Something about the comparison has always been off-putting to me. 

Even the dog whisperer advises pet owners to treat their pets like animals and not like people/children.

I think animals are spectacular and I can understand falling in love with them (and have) but they are not the same as children in my opinion and their needs, demands and development vastly differ.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!