Raising a Gentleman
Now that I've been blogging for awhile, I've started to email back and forth with a few other Single-Mom bloggers. As we visit and comment, we realize we have similar worries on how to teach our boys to be gentlemen when there is no positive male example in the household.
Plus, living Below the Mason Dixon Line, makes it seems even more important... to raise not just a gentleman, but a Southern Gentleman. I know it shouldn't make a difference, but it feels like it does!
This is something that crosses my mind often enough that I turned to the Internet and did a little research and here's what I came up with:
A response to a similar question on minti.com states, "It may seem an old fashioned concept, yet raising our sons to be gentlemen is as important a part of being a parent as teaching them right from wrong. It means teaching our sons to be courageous and considerate; to protect, not abuse; and to choose solid values to live by, rather than the poor values promoted in the media."
This is what I want for my son. I want him to be a good person. I want him to know that being a gentlemen is not "old-fashioned", it's a sign that he's a person of honor and character. Some of these things are things that I'd teach both of my children anyway.
- Manners; please, thank you, yes ma'am and no sir
- Respect; adults are adults, your boss is your boss, your teacher is your teacher and as such, there is a proper and polite way to address things with them, because like it or lump it, they hold a position of authority.
- Affection; you cannot learn to give love if you aren't shown it yourself. For us, this is especially important because my son is the less affectionate of my two and always has been. He needs those hugs and kisses just as much as his sister, even if he isn't asking for them.
But there are others that I need to focus on:
- Teach him to treat you like a lady and he will treat others as well.
- In my case, hold the door for your mother and let your sister go first because we are female and "ladies go first".
- Teach him to love his Mamma because you know they say you can tell how a boy will treat his wife by the way he treats his Mamma.
- Teach him to be independent and do things for himself; show him how to cook and do his laundry.
- Make him do chores like take out the garbage and mow the lawn when he's old enough.
Something else I need to remember. At this point, I'm not dating. I'd like to be, but I don't have time to pursue it right now and the men aren't exactly lining up at my door. Hopefully the opportunity will present itself soon. I need to remember to be picky -I am anyway, but now it's super important- and vigilant and to not settle just because someone has shown interest. Any man that walks through my door and meets my children MUST treat ME like a lady, because not only do I deserve it, so do my children... they need to see it in action. I need to insist on it! In the meantime, I'm open to advice. What do you think I should do to "raise up my children well"?
Origninal Content posted March 30, 2011 at Single Mom in the South.
~Sorta Southern Single Mom