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Raising Kids on the Heels of the MTV Reality Generation

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My arms are covered in bruises from blown IVs.  My back hurts from too much time in bed.  My brain is slight mush from hours of dehydration and television.

One by one, our family was taken down by Norovirus.  It wasn’t pretty.  My hands and forearms are red and swollen from bleach burns.  Don’t get Norovirus, kids.

I have been a mom for five and a half years now and I’m still surprised when I discover that we don’t get sick days.  There should really be a stunt mom we can call in.

But that’s the job.  No amount of “I’m sicker than all of you!” gets us out of it.

As the bleach-filled days swirled around me, I spent a lot of time thinking about this parenting gig.  Right up until I was carted off to the hospital, I was amazed at my ability to hang onto just enough consciousness to take care of our two boys and baby girl.

You just find the strength.  Regardless of circumstances, you do the job.  You train your focus on your children.  You don’t drop the ball.

Or at least I don’t.  You don’t.  But some parents do.MTV

MTV reminded me of that during this fiasco.

I ingested hours of MTV reality programming while I recovered.  Curiously, as VH1 seems to be moving into more dumbed-down territory, MTV is growing up.  It’s subtle, but it’s there.

Shows like Teen Mom and The Buried Life draw me in.  Whereas I used to watch The Real World as a 16 year old in order to, on some level, figure out how I stacked up with other kids of my generation, I watch MTV today for a different reason:  I watch MTV as a parent, trying to pin down how these kids turned out the way they have.

Crib notes: 
Teen Mom is a reality show on MTV that follows the lives of several teen mothers whom the audience first met on the show 16 and Pregnant

The Buried Life documents the efforts of a group of four boys as they methodically tick off their list of answers to the question: 

For every item they accomplish on their list, they help a stranger check off an item on theirs.

 

Subscribers click through for video.

Nature vs. nurture comes into play here, but at the end of the day, I aim my glad hand and stink eye at the parents.  What makes the boys on The Buried Life turn their ambition into philanthropic reality yet a girl like Farrah on Teen Mom think that having a baby in high school should not hinder her freedom to go out until 3 a.m.?

While we don’t see the parents of The Buried Life’s boys, we do see Farrah’s mom quite a bit.  She lost me when she dissuaded Farrah from breastfeeding because, according to her, it gives you floppy boobs.

My heart sinks.

Is it ignorance? 

I don’t pretend to have all of the answers, but I sure as hell try as I go.  As parents, how much of what we do counts?  Where is the line between the helicopter and the high speed train?  My own parenting style lands along the middle as more Hang Glider Parenting; while I don’t hover, I glide through at a slow enough pace that I can recognize when I’m needed, but otherwise try to let my kids find their own bootstraps. 

I’m willing to let my children fail. 

The pervasive sense of entitlement is the bane of my existence.  Teach a man to fish.  Not everyone gets a trophy.  Red ink is not the equivalent of calling a kid “stupid.”

So I watch MTV and try to figure these kids out.  I’m not interested in judging young girls for becoming pregnant.  I’m not focused on what makes the kids on Jersey Shore think that “gorilla” physiques that imply steroid use are attractive.  No, I’m enthralled by how their thought processes developed.

Culture.  Economics.  Education.  Environment.  Heredity.  Self.

So I keep watching.

Does Farrah really think that her teenage desire to stay out late with friends sets her apart from the other teen moms?  Farrah,

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