Random Thursday: Communicating With Teens Edition

1. Communicating with teenagers is fun entertaining challenging. One must be technologically savvy and in the habit of deciphering poor penmanship, nonexistent grammar, and all manner of juvenile bafflement.

2. Take this note, for example.

Uhhhhh. Court? Mom? Jury duty? Speeding tickets? Secret law degree?

Or, could it be, that this particular child loves to play basketball, and knows (from experience) that his mother will string him from the hoop if he goes to the court without letting her know where he is?

Your guess is as good as mine.

3. Sometimes, communication happens in the strangest places.

 What, you may ask, is the teen trying to communicate here?

Well, dear reader, to my well-seasoned eye, the teen is doing his best to tell me:

"I love to annoy you!"

I would even put money on which kid did this, and gleefully, knowing full well that my grammar nose would sniff it out like a...like something with a really good nose sniffs out something smelly.

4. Sometimes communicating with teenagers is downright frustrating. Sometimes you do your darndest to provide for their every need, sacrificing your own well-being (and ignoring the call of your bladder) by standing in the men's department pacing and fidgeting and bouncing on crossed legs in front of the underwear rack for hours on end, waiting for the answer to one simple question.

In cases such as these, it is advisable to go with your gut and let them deal with the consequences. In this case, the very dire consequence was one package of five long-leg boxer briefs.

I'm just sure he learned his lesson.

5. Sometimes, when one teenager (who is normally connected to his cell phone like an unborn child to its umbilical cord), leaves you standing in the men's department, pacing and fidgeting and bouncing on crossed legs in front of the underwear rack for hours on end, the answer is to text yet another umbilical corded teenager to enlist his help.

And sometimes it's not.

6. Sometimes, communicating with a teenager will cause you to double over in hysteria in the midst of a crowded (and otherwise silent) room.

On this occasion, for example, I sent one (unnamed, for reasons of privacy (but really so I can use this as blackmail at some later date)) teen the following simple instructions. I sent them via text message, which, as we all know, is the favored method of teenage communication:

UNNAMED BOOOOYYYYYYYYYY! Put the chicken from the fridge in the crockpot with a cup of water and turn it on low. Please!!!

The following reply came (via text message) less than ONE MINUTE later:

Are you feeling my pain here, people?

7. Other times, when you mistakenly put a teen driver in charge of a vehicle and let down your guard just enough to enjoy an adult beverage with a girlfriend, you live to regret it.

And there you have it, friends. Communicating with teenagers. As you can see, I have mastered this difficult field of study. As your resident expert, I will be accepting questions (at $20 each) from 2-4pm on Thursdays.

Thank you.

Karen is a freelance writer and speaker. You can follow her on Twitter at @karenklasi.

karenklasiwrites.com

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