Reasons My Mama Is Crying - A Guest Post By My 2-Year-Old
***I have had guest bloggers before. They were brilliant and insightful but, as fabulous as they were, this writer is hands-down my favorite guest poster of all time. He is charming and witty and talented and an obvious genius. He is one of those people who, as soon as you meet them, you know he is destined for greatness. Unless you happen to be one of the unfortunate ones who encounter him during a temper-tantrum in the Meijer produce department. Have you guessed it? Today's guest blogger is Toddler-saurus Rex. I hope you enjoy his first-ever blog post.***
Hi! I'd like to take a moment to introduce myself, if that's OK. My mommy calls me T-Rex on her blog so I guess we'll just go with that. I'm 2 1/2-years-old. I enjoy listening to the same song over and over until the grown-ups in my house start to tremble and show signs of a nervous breakdown, turning on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and ignoring it completely until someone else tries to change the channel, and exploring the flavors of random items I pick up from the floor.
I asked Mama if I could have some space on her blog to share something with you.
You see, there's this website called, "Reasons My Son Is Crying." Mama thinks it's hilarious. Every time she sees one of those pictures she starts laughing.
I honestly don't get it. I mean, did you see the one where the mom had planted a flower in the pot her son had given her? What was she thinking?! Of course the boy was crying! Who puts a flower in a big clay pot? Poor kid. I feel his pain.
And it's not like Mamas don't cry. I have proof. I stole Mama's phone to take some pictures (Oh! I forgot to add, "stealing Mama's phone to take pictures" to my list of interests). Let me show you what I'm talking about...
Reasons My Mama Is Crying:
She's always raving about my big sister's fabulous artwork. I thought I'd try my hand at expressing my creativity. She was overcome by the beauty of it.
Mama says we are always late for everything. She gives us all plenty of time to get ready but we think it's sort of funny to wait until she's got her coat on and then tell her that we have to use the potty or change clothes or grab one more toy. I'm not so sure she understands the humor.
Mama says she loves to watch the Olympics but every time we turn it on she starts crying: especially when they show the Moms and Dads in the stands. I don't get it. Maybe she's sad that they get to watch their kids do sports and she doesn't. I think I'll try bobsledding down the staircase this afternoon. That will probably make her feel better.
Mama has a weird fondness for Mexican food. Last week she told us we were going to "Taco Tuesday" at her favorite Mexican restaurant and, when we got there, they were closed and the building was empty. I told her we could just have cookies instead but she didn't seem interested in that idea. Mamas have weird ideas about the appropriate times for eating cookies.
I tell you the truth, the woman is obsessed with where it is and is not OK to poop. She kept asking if I had to poop. I said no. It was the truth. I was done by the time she'd asked. I really don't see the problem. Everybody poops. I know it's true. I read a book all about it.
You know those little rubber things that they put on the bottoms of metal chair legs to keep them from being dangerously sharp? Those come off. And then, if you put the chair right in front of the door and everything works out perfectly, Daddy will come bursting through the door just as Mama is starting to push the chair in and the metal edge will rip her toes off and she does this great hopping on one foot move.
She told me to put the Kindle down and go play with my toys, so I did. I played with every single one of them. I even took the flash cards and dominoes out of their boxes! You think she'd be happier. I'm not sure I'll ever understand women.
Yup. My Mama sure does cry a lot (although, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure that all of the tears in these pictures were 100% genuine), but the very best thing about my Mama is that, even though she's quick to cry she's even quicker to laugh. We don't always understand each other but no matter what we'll love each other forever.
Before you go, there's something else I wanted to mention..
Mama's blog has a great sponsor - Dolphy Games. I seriously LOVE these games! They are so cool! When I click on the little dolphin to start it up it says, "Hello, T-Rex!" And then there are all these great animals and colorful pictures of things I really like - like beach balls and watermelons.
Some of the games are just a little tricky... they really make me think. I have to count or remember my shapes and colors but I'm getting really good at them and when I get a right answer the pretty voice says, "Well done, T-Rex!" I can't help it. That voice makes me so happy that I just have to jump up and down and clap.
My big sister has a version for older kids and she loves it, too.
If you have some kids in your house, or if you need a special present for a child you love, you should go visit Dolphy Games and pick out something awesome for them. I bet they'll love it as much as I do!
If you liked this post, leave a comment and let my Mama know. Maybe she'll let me do another one day.
Are you, too, seeking to save the earth, promote world peace and raise productive citizens without expending too much effort?
If we work on our goals together, they may be a little easier to achieve!