Reasons why Dr. Rutherford advises against using a school counselor:

I RECENTLY DIVORCED AND MY CHILD IS HAVING SOME PROBLEMS DEALING WITH THAT. THE SCHOOL WANTS HIM TO SEE THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR.

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DR. RUTHERFORD: I think that parents have to consider this very seriously because this is a significant action to take. There are some school counselors that are very good, of course, but personally, if it were my child, I would prefer to see an independent therapist outside of the school system.

I worry a lot about the information that gets passed around in schools between teachers and counselors. Talking with a school counselor may compromise confidentiality, which may end up putting your child at a disadvantage.

MOLLY: This dilemma was submitted from a mother in Denver, Colorado. Are you concerned because the child could get labeled as a troublemaker or something like that within the school?

DR. RUTHERFORD: Yes. Labeling does happen in an educational work place, and life is harder for a child who is known to all the teachers in the school as a “troubled child.”  The way to avoid that is to see a counselor outside of the school who is not beholden or tempted to share information with the school.

I think, of course, that there is always the possibility for long term effects from how a divorce is handled. If it is mishandled within the school system, ...

Read the rest of Dr. Rutheford's advice at Conversations With My Mother.com

Molly Skyar and Dr. Rutherford publish Conversations With My Mother.com, an online resource for offering practical parenting tips and psychological insight into raising kids. Dr. Rutherford is a Clinical Psychologist with a busy family practice for more than 30 years. She has degrees from Duke University, New York University, and the University of Denver.

 

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