Why Are You Single?

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Generally I’ve avoided this topic. I have not really stepped foot into the matters of the heart in my public writing so I'll tread lightly and humorously for now.

“You’re going to get married before I do.”
“Oh really, well I think you’ll be the first to go
This conversation took place a few years ago between a close friend and myself. Each was so certain that the other would be the first to marry that every year we upped our wager. It started innocently as dressing up as characters at public events and quickly proceeded into a financial wager. The night before my friend’s wedding she counted out the bills and finally had to admit that I had won the wager. It was not one that I had necessarily tried to win. Nor had I really wanted to win. M looked at me and said, “I was so sure”.


Girl in coffe shop
Image: Bảo Trí Nguyễn via Flickr


Most people intend it as a compliment “How is a girl like you STILL single?!

How does one even respond to that? I asked some friends this question and here are some responses I got:
*Clearly I have some major character flaws
*I rule people out too soon
*I’m too awesome that God is just taking some extra time on them
*All the good ones are already taken
*There are no normal ones left
*I have standards
*I’m too busy looking, if I’d just stop then he would magically appear
*Disney movies have given me unreal expectations
*He’s with someone else just waiting for that to fizzle
*He hasn’t reached the legal age yet
*He just hasn’t found the key to me heart yet
*They are intimidated by me
*I’m out of milkshakes
*No one understands my humor
*My parents never prayed for my future spouse so they are lost and wandering aimlessly around
*I love Hallmark Christmas movies too much that I’d rather stay at home and watch those
*My pet doesn’t approve so clearly they have no soul

Even better are the responses that the well meaning question giver often has:

*Don’t worry one day your prince will come, until then keep dating Jesus
*You’re going to be a great wife someday…….. just not today
*You’ll make it through 
(was I dying?)
*I’m praying for you in this season
*I burned you a copy of Rebbecca St. James “Wait for me”
* Well....The moment you stop looking is the moment it will happen for you
*At least now that you've waited, you know yourself more, and will really know what you want in a mate *Have you considered online dating? One of my good friends met her husband on there, so you never know!
So what gives?  How is a girl like me still single? When you’ve figured it out let me know. Just kidding. You know I just am, for whatever reason at this point in life, single. Some days that does bother me, most it doesn’t. I did not do something to find myself at a place of singleness. My married friends did not sign up to some formula for life that I missed the memo on. I am neither lucky nor unlucky. I just am at this season and it is ok. Who knows it may change tomorrow or even by the end of this evening ;) But until then I am here in this season and I shall enjoy it until the next season comes at it’s own timing. 


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