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I'm a mother of girls two years apart, rapidly approaching 40.   At 38. I felt that a divorce and some major life changes would be fun....
 
 
 
 

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I Didn't Recognize the Signs of Stroke

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I arrived in the restaurant parking lot around 1.10 pm.  I saw her car, and her silhouette.  I wasn’t sure why she was waiting in the heat, so I walked over to the car and called her name.  No answer.  I called her name more loudly (and impatiently, because good lord, let’s eat already).  No response.  I walked up to the driver’s side door and noticed the window was down; she was sitting in the car, sort of leaning back and forth in the seat.  I told her I was there, and as soon as she made eye contact I knew something was wrong. 

I had one of the most frightening experiences of my life yesterday. 

Over the weekend in Southwest Virginia, I’d picked up a couple of things for my parents. I called my mom around noon to see if she wanted to meet me for lunch.  She’d already eaten, but we decided to get together around 1.15 to exchange some things and she could watch me hoover up something for my own lunch.  She was perfectly normal when I talked to her.

I arrived in the restaurant parking lot around 1.10 pm.  I saw her car, and her silhouette.  I wasn’t sure why she was waiting in the heat, so I walked over to the car and called her name.  No answer.  I called her name more loudly (and impatiently, because good lord, let’s eat already).  No response.  I walked up to the driver’s side door and noticed the window was down; she was sitting in the car, sort of leaning back and forth in the seat.  I told her I was there, and as soon as she made eye contact I knew something was wrong. 

Her eyes were barely open and her speech sounded like she’d been on an all-night bender in Vegas.  When she tried to get out of the car, she pitched forward immediately and I was able to catch her.  She was unable to walk without falling, and although my mom is petite, she sure felt heavy as I dragged her - literally dragged her - to the other side of the car where I got her to lie down.  Through her thick, slurred speech, she told me she was “just tired” and assured me she hadn’t been taking any medication. 

Internally I was panicking.  I thought she was having some life or death reaction to a medication from the surgery she recently had; the other part of me was idly considering how in the HELL she had driven 20 minutes in the condition she was in without killing herself or someone else.  She was mostly incoherent, making half-hearted hand gestures and mumbling the same sentence in a strange, strangled tone I’d never heard her use before.  Occasionally saliva would bubble out of her mouth, causing me to internally panic and wonder how much I could fake my way through CPR. 

After 2 or 3 minutes of trying to wrap my mind around this person who didn’t resemble my mother in the slightest, I finally began to react.  I called my father first, irrationally asking him why he let mom leave the house in this condition and what medication had she taken?  He said she’d been fine when she left and that she hadn’t taken anything this morning.  I told him to get there as soon as possible. 

In the silence that came after hanging up the phone with him, I began to shake.  My mother kept trying to get up and move around in the car; I kept telling her to stay still and stop talking (the stop talking part was for my benefit, because every time she tried to communicate with me, it scared me even more).  I realized that she wasn’t getting better and I also realized that I needed to make a decision. 

 

Emergency Room

 

I told her firmly to stay put and ran to the restaurant, grabbed a manager and told him to call 911.  I ran back to the parking lot and stayed with my mother while we waited; the cliche is that minutes seem to take forever when waiting.  In this case, the fire department rescue squad was right around the corner and within 30 seconds of the call being made, I could hear the sirens.  A minute after that, I could hear the ambulance.

 

Many things happened in the minutes and hours after I made the decision to call 911.  They included a ride to the hospital with my mother in the back and me in the front seat, next to an incredibly buff and sexy EMT (high point of the day), a dawning realization that my mom was probably having a stroke right in front of me, the amazing ability to communicate to large groups of people via mediums like Facebook and texting, and many interactions with a superb, if not overworked, ER staff.

A few minutes after my mother reached the ER, she was assessed for stroke symptoms.  The doctor and nurse both agreed that she was probably having one and activated the stroke team.  Since she was getting better on her own, they didn’t use some of the new medication they have for severe strokes but gave her aspirin immediately and began a long process of CT scans, x-rays, blood work, carotid ultrasounds, swallowing tests and echocardiograms.  A few hours later, we were told that she probably had experienced a transient ischemic attack (TIA) or in layman’s terms, a “mild stroke”. 

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strawberrytech 5 pts

I guess I should mention, my signs 'were' numbness and weakness on one side, but I couldn't tell until I was told, I experienced as stumbling a lot...I couldn't tell on my own that it was my left side, just that I wasn't 'walking right' if that makes sense.

I'm glad you got your mom help...that sounds like it must have been horrific...

strawberrytech 5 pts

I had a stroke when I was 18...it is a very strange thing to have happen. I didn't recognize the signs at all, fortunately they were strange enough that I did go get help.

KarenLynnn 227 pts

I'm so glad your mom has a good prognosis, and thankfully it happened when you two were meeting up. Thanks for the info about how to recognize the signs. How scary for you

cdelbueno 5 pts

thanks for all the kind words and comments, and for sharing your stories. hopefully if more people are aware of this, we can prevent more deaths.

imasillymami 5 pts

So sorry to hear about your mom. Glad she is ok. I had one as well. Its pretty scary.

pauline 6 pts

Really vivid description of watching a stroke happen. My mom had a ton of these before she died. They were terrifying.

feelingbeachie 25 pts

your mom was very lucky that you arrived when you did... It is so scary when you witness a stroke or its aftermath. I know... I was 14 years old when my dad had a massive stroke. He just walked into the house after picking me up. When he started slurring, I thought he was joking... It took a while for me to realize something bad was happening. Sadly, my dad didn't make it, but this was 23 years ago. They have made such advancements since. My husband's dad just had a massive stroke too, and even though he is 84 and not in great health, he is heading to rehab... will keep you and your mom in my thoughts...

Polish Mama on the Prairie 18 pts

I'm so sorry to hear she had one but so thankful that it was just a small one and that you were there and "bit the bullet" by taking the risk of calling 9-1-1. It's amazing, you think you will obviously know what is going on and just the ambulance but when the time comes, you doubt.

I've been there. My grandmother-in-law had one and we called. Only her's wasn't minor. :(

Prayers that all works out for your mother's health.

Great post and well written.

Noelle Wright 5 pts

Encountering a stroke is something you you always hear about but just don't think about happening. It's amazing that it wasn't more serious.

frillyhills 5 pts

I went through this with my grandmother just two weeks ago. She's had no loss of motor skills but her speech and perception has been affected quite significantly. She's in rehab now but it's so difficult to look in the eye of your loved one and realise they aren't who they used to be. They're there on the inside but can't make the connection. She didn't know who she was, however she knew who she was. It was so scary. Her speech is improving and her perception a little but we're way off recovery - just yesterday she couldn't remember what her house looked like. Tomorrow I'm taking in photos to remind her. Her brain is mending, finding new pathways - it's a struggle to get through the every day and I live in hope she makes a full recovery or at least enough of a recovery to live a quality life. It's the saddest thing ever.

nessnix 5 pts

Your mom is very lucky that you were there to meet her and care for her. Thank you for taking the time to inform others.

17 years ago now, when I was 22 and my mom was 43, she was home with my Dad (who had coincidentally-- thankfully-- taken the morning off work to hang out with her.) She walked from the kitchen to the living room and told my dad that she didn't feel right. It was then she began to lose control of the left side of her face and the right side of her body. My father ran to catch her and carried her to the bedroom, where thankfully he called 911 while simultaneously performing CPR -- essentially breathing for her because she could no longer breathe for herself (this saved her from further brain damage and death.) What my dad didn't know at that time, was that my mom was suffering a hemorrhagic stroke (bleed instead of a clot) and it was in her brain stem (which controls all of your basic survival functions like breathing).

Most who have this type of stroke die from swelling on the brain caused by the bleeding or lack of oxygen to the brain. My mother survived only because my father was home that day. What we found out later, once we were better educated, was that my mother had been suffering from TIAs for years but was too scared to get help. We knew she had migraines and we knew she sometimes had days where she said the wrong words, but we just thought that was our quirky mom. She was good at hiding things, so we didn't know she had numbness and tingling sensations and days where she just slept all morning until my sisters were home from school at 3pm. Turns out she had untreated high blood pressure for over 10 years.

We never knew that someone so young could be affected by stroke and my mother NEVER went to the doctor for anything. So she hadn't had a health check-up in years. Strokes and heart disease in women are much more prevalent than we all are aware, make sure that you and your loved ones are monitoring their blood pressure, cholesterol, heart health and risk factors as they age, to best ensure against stroke.

Forever 17 114 pts

wow that must have been so scary, I'm so glad your Mom is feeling better, and thanks for all the info.

Conversation from Facebook

Kreative Haus
Kreative Haus

I thought I had had a stroke in December, but it ended up being Bells Palsy. I was a bit scared.

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Oh fudge. I just realized something. My Babcia fell a couple weeks ago for no reason, her own words. She says a couple days ago she wants to go to doctor because she has since been having problems remembering names, etc. She lives alone in Poland. My heart is breaking. Could she have had a stroke? :( Thank you, this just helped possibly shed some light to what might be going on with her.

Polish Mama on the Prairie
Polish Mama on the Prairie

Very very well written. And heartrenching.

Shelley Bosinski Steele
Shelley Bosinski Steele

Thats exactly what happened to my mom, too. About a day or two after she died, I noticed a paper taped to the wall in her office describing the signs of a stroke....we had no clue. Now I know.

Josette Mettmann Prows
Josette Mettmann Prows

My sister was 32 when she had a stroje and died the er doc sent her home saying it was just a headache

Luna Raven
Luna Raven

my soul mother died from one because the signs were not recognized. I pay a lot of attention to strange sensations now.

Nina Britt Fleming
Nina Britt Fleming

my mom has had at least one TIA - no one realized until later.

Sue Wilhite
Sue Wilhite

Yes, my mother had a series of them. The first one occurred on Easter, and we were supposed to go out for breakfast that morning. I came to pick her up, and she told me her bra hook had broken, and could I fix it. The problem was that she didn't have the bra on both arms, and it was backwards. I noticed later in the morning that she couldn't see anything that was to the right of center on the table, and was having difficulty with her utensils. That's when I called the doctor and got her to an emergency room.

Janelle Whye
Janelle Whye

yes, best friend had one and luckily got him to hospital in time..golden hour critical

Beth A Franklin Wilson
Beth A Franklin Wilson

i had TIA in April....i'm 48 yrs old..

Jodee Rose
Jodee Rose

My husband had a stroke two years ago and had none of the "normal" symptoms of it. I wrote about it Monday, on his birthday. http://cheeseblarg.blogspot.com/2011/08/and-many-m...

Cindy Naranjo
Cindy Naranjo

My best friend's sister had a stroke at 27 because of her birth control pills. She had gone to 3 different hospitals and no one could recognize she had a stroke. This is a really helpful article