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I am a wife, mother of three, a professional freelance writer and the Director and founder of Northern Colorado Writers.  My passion is to guide...
 
 
 
 

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Writers: Don't Set Your Self-Worth By a Publisher's Opinion

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On Saturday, my daughter auditioned for a local teen acting troupe. Before the auditions began the director talked with the students about what they could expect from the audition, when they would find out who made it and other bits of general information. But she ended with something that resonated with me and relates 100% to writers.

She explained that there were only a few openings in the troupe, so not everyone was going to make it. Then, with heartfelt conviction, she told those teens, "Don't ever base your self-worth as an actor on one audition. Do not give that power over to any director. It hasn't been earned, and they don't deserve it."

When I left, I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. So many times as writers we wrap up our self-worth in every query letter or proposal we send out. Then we wait for the response and rather than just look at it as just that, a response, we use it to gauge our worth and abilities as a writer. If an editor/agent says yes, then we must be a good writer. If we get a no, then we must not be any good.

That is too much power to hand over to editors/agents and frankly, I don't think they want it. The agents and editors are just doing their job, to make the best magazine, book or anthology possible. It is up to us to be confident in our own abilities as a writer.

We have all heard those rejection letter examples from authors like Stephen King, J.K. Rowling and Dr. Seuss saying their writing wasn't any good. But what made these writers successful is that they didn't let an editor's opinion stop them. They were confident in their writing and they kept going. We all need to do the same.

Surround yourself with other positive writers, take classes, go to conferences, join a good critique group, and improve your craft so when you do send out your writing, you can rest assured that you sent out your best work and regardless of the response back, you know that you are a good writer.

What do you think? Do we hand over our self-worth as writers to too many other people?

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MyAdventurousLife 5 pts

Thank you for those words of encouragement. I'm a first time writer trying to find my way out there.

My Adventurous Life:

Navy Wife, Veteran, Mom, and Student

Lifeandmyadventures.blogspot.com

Kerrie F 5 pts

Thank you all for reading my post and for taking the time to comment. I am so glad to hear it touched a chord with you. I don't think it ever hurts to be reminded that just because one person may not like our writing, it doesn't mean we are bad writers.

JennaHatfield 11 pts

Man. That would have been nice to hear when I was in college. (I was a double major in communications and music.) Basically, if you blew your initial audition for placement in choirs, you couldn't EVER move up. It was a horrible environment and I almost quit singing all together because of it.

And so, thank you for the reminder not to base my self-worth on THAT experience ... or any of the rejection letters that I receive regarding writing. Big high five!

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

@NinaBadzin 5 pts

Kerrie! Loved every word of this post! I remember reading in Jennifer Weiner's FAQs for writers (a long time ago) that a good story will always find a home. So far I've found that to be true, slowly getting stories published, but only AFTER sending stories out in batches and improving it before sending to another batch. I'm had some small successes . . . it's SLOW but sure.

Congrats on the featured post!

Nina :)

http://ninabadzin.com

joanncorley 5 pts

Stephen King got 133 rejection letters.

Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen of Chicken Soup for the Fame, couldn't get any publishing house to publish...so they ended up funding their first edition with a small publishing house that was essentially going out of business.

They then sold books out of the truck of their car at concerts and other large venues for the first year or so.

Nough said.. :-)

JoAnn Corley
Published co-author through a regular publishing house: Ordinary Women, Extraordinary Success
Author of self published books: The 1% Edge and Wisdom@Work

Gwenn 5 pts

I follow the 2-for-1 rule of rejections. For every rejection I get from a venue or a granting committee or some other opportunity, I send out two more queries. They can be full-on applications, or they can be emails to friends talking about my current projects...it just has to be something.

In my own work, I've found that separating myself from my art ( http://www.gwennseemel.com/index.php/blog/comments... ) helps me to see criticism/rejection more clearly and, in that way, to make it more useful...

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Gwenn Seemel is an artist who blogs ( http://www.gwennseemel.com/index.php/blog/ ) bilingually about all the faces she makes while painting faces.

mashadutoit 5 pts

I've just finished my book, and have started finding publishers to send it to. It's quite nerve wracking.

I'm torn between hoping for a good result, and dreading what they will say.