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My name is Amy Gates (also known on the ‘net as amygeekgrl or the Crunchy Domestic Goddess). I live in Colorado with my husband Jody (yes, he’s a guy...
 
 
 
 

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Reducing holiday stress for your kids

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The holidays are supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year," yet for many people they might as well be known as "the most stressful time of the year." We often think of stress as something that only affects adults, but it can play a significant role in the lives of children as well, especially around the holidays.

There are a lot of changes to children's routines during the holidays, from visits from unfamiliar relatives to traveling, from an influx of sweets to over-scheduled days and late bedtimes. All of these things can take a toll on the wee ones.

Rather than accept that tears, tantrums and troubles (which are all normal child reactions to stress) are a necessary evil of the holidays, you can follow some tips to keep your kids (and yourself) feeling a bit more carefree. I can't guarantee there won't be any tears or tantrums, but it will be less likely to be from stress and more likely to be typical childhood tears and tantrums.

10 Ways to Reduce Kids' Stress has some helpful tips such as:

  • Stick with the routine as much as possible. Keep stressful holiday shopping and eating out to a minimum; start preparing for Christmas early to avoid holiday anxiety.
  • Talk to your children about traditions and spirituality. If you believe in Christ, focus on the real meaning of Christmas – and trusting God. If you have traditions, explain why they’ve stayed in your family.
  • Bring a favorite blanket or stuffed animal if you’re staying with family over the holidays. A bit of home will reduce your child’s holiday anxiety.

Another tip they add that I think is really important (and often difficult to do) is:

  • Give 'em time - Allow lots of time so you don't have to rush from point A to point B, unnecessarily stressing everyone out. Allow time for potty breaks, diaper changes, unexpected car sickness, getting out to stretch, etc.
  • Keep 'em fed - Pack lots of healthy snacks for the kids to eat while you drive/fly.
  • Keep 'em entertained - Pack a variety of toys, games, books, coloring books, markers (Crayola Color Wonder markers and books are great for travel because the color only shows up on the special paper). You can even wrap small presents for the child to unwrap on the way. You might also consider investing in a portable DVD player so the child(ren) can watch a movie here and there.
  • Keep a good attitude and your sense of humor and your children will likely follow suit.

There are more Tips for Airplane Travel with Small Children at Mother Words.

Another tip that I really like is to learn relaxation techniques with your children. This will serve you both well during the holidays and throughout the year. The article Holiday Stress! Are children affected? states:

Colds are contagious and so is stress. Children are affected by stress of their own and pick up on family stresses. This includes holiday stress. So how do we promote calmness in our family and increase our chances of staying healthy during the holidays?

The Mental Health Association recommends counteracting stress by maintaining a positive outlook, focusing on activities that take your mind off your worries and taking time to relax.

Instead of telling your child to go "calm down" this holiday season, I invite you to give them the tools they need to manage stress and anxiety. Introduce

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midnightbliss 5 pts

Christmas should be lots of fun for kids, but sometimes, due to traditions, we forget that unlike as adults, kids get stressed out easily with the sudden changes in their activities.you have here great tips and we may all have a blessed, fun and dtress free holidays.

ThePrudentPatron 5 pts

We often forget what we are doing to contribute to the tantrums! Thanks for all the great tips.

Brittany at theprudentpatron.blogspot.com

amygeekgrl 5 pts

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and know I don't handle stress well. I can already see tendencies in my kids to have difficulty with stress management and I realize how important it is for them that I model good behavior. It's definitely a work in progress.

I really liked the tip about learning relaxation techniques with your kids. I think turning on a calming CD or practicing some breathing exercises is wonderful idea that will help all of us now and will give them some tools to relay on as they get older too. I'm going to make a point to work on that.

I also think the tip for leaving plenty of time for traveling is so important. I know I get totally stressed out every time I travel, whether it's with my kids or not, because I don't give myself enough time. This is especially important during the holidays, when everyone and their sister is headed to the airport.

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess ( http://crunchydomesticgoddess.com )
BlogHers Act contributing editor ( http://www.blogher.com/special-events/bloghers-act )

mrssharp 5 pts

I hope that all of us have a less stressful Christmas. Gifts and rushing is not what it should be about. It should be about making memories and family.

Lisa Sharp
www.RetroHousewifeGoesGreen.com

sassymonkey 6 pts

We host Christmas dinner. I can control the situation to a point. Plus I can hide in the kitchen and do all the prep and there really isn't much room in there so...I kick everyone out of it. I get to decompress a little and they get to socialize. It's win-win.

(Thankfully, no kids. So I don't have to worry about what I'm passing on to them about that.)

Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca/ ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca/ ).

Denise 10 pts moderator

I have to get away from the noise and the crowd. Looking at my oldest kids, I think I've kind of trained them to do that too. Or maybe it wasn't training and they just inherited my need to step away for a bit? 

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings ( http://www.flamingohouse.net/ )

JennaHatfield 11 pts

Of course, this line made me cringe:

Cope with your own holiday anxiety. The less Christmas stress you feel, the more relaxed your children will be.

Uh, yeah. I'm not great with holiday anxiety. Even as a teenager, after a meal I would go up to my room and read or play a game or do anything to avoid the general hub-bub of having all of my family members in one house. I struggle with it even now. 

Should be an interesting challenge... but at least I have it in my mind. Thanks!

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )

Laurie PK 5 pts

Hi Amy,

When I read your title about reducing stress for kids at Christmas, I thought "What a brilliant idea for an article!" Then, I read your post and was so pleased that you linked to the article I wrote for Suite about reducing kids stress...thank you. :-)

My favorite way to manage stress -- whether I'm traveling, meeting work deadlines, feeling pressured to get dinner on the table while everything's still hot, etc -- is to take a deep breath and tell myself, "You have enough time. Everything will get done and it will be fine...because you have enough time." 

For some reason, this works for me. And, when I'm less stressed, so are the people around me...

Thanks for this post!

Laurie

See Jane Soar! ( http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/ ) ( http://seejanesoar.theadventurouswriter.com/ )