Regrets- Elephants in the room

Regret. A six letter word that carries much weight, in fact it’s often the elephant in rooms of our lives. We all have regrets whether they be big or small, the key is what do we do with them. We may regret the fact we overslept and missed that office meeting or made a choice that caused enormous amounts of grief to ourselves and others.

I’ve heard people say “Live your life with no regrets”, I say the opposite. We need regrets to remind us of our choices so (A) we don’t repeat the same bad move and (B) how not to lose self control.

A poll was recently taken of what people regret the most:

What We Regret:

EDUCATION- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 32%
CAREER- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 22%
ROMANCE- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 15%
PARENTING- XXXXXXXXXXX 10%
SELF- XXXXXX 5.4%
LEISURE- XXXXX 2.55%
FINANCE- XXXX 2.52%
FAMILY- XXX 2.25%
HEALTH- XX 1.47%
FRIENDS- XX 1.44%
SPIRITUALITY- Xx 1.33%
COMMUNITY- X 0.95%

What this shows us is many young people did not follow their true passions, allowed others (usually their parents) to direct them towards careers which promised monetary gain, yet did not satisfy their internal desires. Another interesting note, is the educational choices seem to affect a majority of other aspects of our lives. Many people are misguided by others unfulfilled visions and what we end up with is a generation of regretful people.

What are some of the characteristics of Regret:
-Denial
-Bewilderment
-Punishment

Example of how we keep these on a continuous loop in our lives:
“I can’t believe I married that guy. I knew he was bad news yet it was so hard to break away. I look in the mirror and just ask myself, “What the hell were you thinking”. I must be a total idiot to have allowed my common sense to fall in the gutter and now look at this mess I am in.”

So how do we live with our regrets? It’s really quite simple.
-We take comfort in knowing millions of people have them and it’s part of being a feeling human
-Laugh. Laughter & humor connect the poles of our lives and bring us back to our center
-The passage of time. While it may not heal all wounds, time is a balm that has wonderful way of lowering the blinds on those regretful moments.

The thing we must all remember is not to live without regrets, but to learn how to forgive ourselves and quit kicking our own behinds.

“You did then what you knew how to do, when you knew better you did better”-M.A.

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