Hey Everybody!

I'm new to BlogHer and still trying to figure everything out! But, I wanted to tell you about me & my relationship story - my not so very great love story...

When I was 20 years old, I thought I met the man of my dreams. We were both young and inexperienced with love, really, and our relationship moved really fast - too fast at first; we moved in together after knowing each other only 3 months.

And then things changed. They stalled. We fell into a rut and even though every warning sign was there that he and I were a bad couple and shouldn't get married, we did. It mostly was because of me - after being together for 3 1/2 years and watching all my friends get engaged and get married, I wanted, no NEEDED, to be in that place, too.

But I knew in my heart I didn't really want to be married. Not to Joe. Not to live the way we had been, for the rest of my life. And I chose to ignore my heart, and settle - stupidly settle - for a man who I knew wasn't good enough for me and would never make me happy the way my heart and soul wanted to be. I was optimistic, though, and hoped that once we got married, we suddenly would be "all growed up" and all the stupid stuff that troubled us before we got married, would magically disappear once the rings were on our fingers.

Amazingly, they got worse (you're surprised, I can tell...) Our fighting, our hatefulness towards one another just grew. But I stayed anyway. Because I felt like I deserved it - I made my choice to marry him, and decided it was my grave and I had lie in it - live with that choice... forever.

Until a friend of mine told me it was okay to leave. That I didn't deserve to be ignored, and emotionally beat up on. That I didn't need to stay with a man who did things intentionally to hurt me and my spirit. And she was right. Nobody, even though plenty of people knew that and felt that way, nobody told me that. But she did.

And it changed my life.

It set the wheels in motion for me to mentally prepare myself to leave. Of course, things are never that simple, and our relationship got even uglier, but because of her words - that I didn't deserve this - kept me strong, and saw me through to the end, when finally, I had the strength to tell him to get the hell out. I never looked back and have never been happier in all my life.

And so, I decided to tell my story in a blog. I thought, if I could help just one more woman realize that she does have a choice - there is always a choice - that she doesn't deserve to be with a man who treats her badly,whether it's mental or physically, then the 6 years of hell I lived through would be worth it.

Recently, my blog has become a podcast where I am telling my story for women everywhere to hear. I thought it was a great way to expose more women to my story and help them, because I read stories every day about young women going through exactly what I did with Joe, and I want them to know, they are not alone.

If you'd like to listen to my story, you can hear it at www.gettingsingle.podshow.com
You may not be in a bad relationship, but I bet you know someone who is... Tell her she doesn't deserve it, and tell her to listen to my story, maybe I can change her life, too.

Thanks for reading!