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Crabby can be found whining about health and fitness at her blog Cranky Fitness.  She also pimps her coaching services at "Live a Little" Life...
 
 
 
 

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Stress Sucks - Relax!

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There are many components of healthy living: eating right, exercising, refraining from smoking, keeping up with medical appointments, and not doing dumb-ass things like driving 100 miles per hour or sprinting across the street in front of oncoming tanker trucks.

But there's another healthy habit that's easy to forget: stress management. Stress sucks, and chronic stress can seriously mess up your health--not to mention give you excess belly fat, destroy your sleep, and generally make you a crotchety, over-sensitive pain in the ass. Chronic stress can raise blood pressure, contribute to digestive problems, negatively affect your immune system, and do a whole bunch of other bad things I can't remember off the top of my head.

There are many different methods to fight the effects of stress. These include exercise (which you're already doing, right?), psychiatric medications, psychotherapy, biofeedback, cognitive-behavioral self-help programs, massage, and bonking random strangers on the head with foam baseball bats. (Well, that last one isn't commonly recommended but it sure sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?).

But one of the simplest things you can do is... relax! Studies have shown taking a few minutes to meditate or do other forms of relaxation can have tremendous health benefits. There are lots of ways to approach it, like: mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, focusing on breath, self-hypnosis, yoga, chanting, drumming, singing, prayer, and guided visualization. Any activity that helps you focus your attention, relax your muscles, slow and deepen your breathing, and activate your parasympathetic nervous system will do the trick.

So am I the only one who knows relaxation exercises are good for me, but can not seem to make myself do them?

I bet I'm not. Seems like lots of people who will spend hours training for a marathon or cooking a nutritious meals somehow can't imagine taking 20 precious minutes out of the day to repeat a mantra, visualize a pleasant walk by the seashore, or focus on their breathing. And no amount of research about the awesome physical and mental benefits this brings seems to change this resistance.

Here's my theory: practicing intentional, conscious, therapeutic relaxation does not feel miserable enough to count in our minds as a chore or an achievement. It just feels wrong to many people to take half an hour, or even 2-3 minutes, out of a busy day to go off and be quiet unless all the other more unpleasant chores have been taken care of first. And how often are all your unpleasant chores ever finished?

Yet for most people, meditation or relaxation exercises are not "fun" enough to count as entertainment, especially not at first. In a battle for precious spare leisure time, a favorite tv show or new novel by your favorite author is going to seem a more compelling choice than sitting cross-legged and chanting "om."

Part of the reason I'm writing this post is that I've decided that it's about goddamn time I started doing some of this relaxation stuff myself again. I already follow pretty much every other healthy lifestyle recommendation, and being naturally wired as a neurotic stress-bucket, this one I really should remember to take seriously.

Years ago I dabbled in meditation, self-hypnosis, and guided visualization, etc. (As a psychotherapist, I even used to hypnotize people too; it's pretty cool.) But then I got too lazy and stopped making time for it.

Here are some things I learned:

(1) The kind of meditation that is most frequently suggested, where you repeat a mantra over and over? It works great for lots of people, but I suck at it, even with lots of practice. Everyone is different, yet many authorities still push mantra meditation as "the" kind of meditation. Phooey to that.

(2) The most helpful resource I found to get started was buying a book with all kinds of relaxation, visualization, and meditation examples. (Of course I can't find the book anymore or remember the title. But there are plenty out there.) Another thing I found helpful was to spring for a few guided meditation or visualization cd's. (There are also free or cheap mp3's and podcasts on the web; just google!).

(3) Once you learn to relax deeply, with practice you can cue yourself to get to at least a semi-relaxed state much more quickly than you did before. But I've also discovered that if you stop practicing, you can lose this ability again.

(4) The more time you spend focusing your conscious attention, the more you start to notice cool stuff around you that you didn't notice before.

(5) Deep trance states can

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FawnM 5 pts

OMG, Craby McSlacker ... You are so not the only person that knows the importance of relaxation but does not often practice it--or, in my case, hardly ever. I use the excuse that I can't focus enough to meditate, or I don't have the time to breathe. Ha 

I know incorporating relaxation techniques regularly would improve every other aspect of my life so what's my problem? Trying to relax becomes another stressor on my to-do list, another source of guilt. But women are queens of multitasking, they say, which brings me to your number six. Love the suggestions there and find that the only practical way for me to relax is to exercise.

Breathe in ... and out ...

Fawn (a.k.a. the amoeba) www.fawnmcmanigal.com ( http://www.fawnmcmanigal.com )

Crabby McSlacker 5 pts

My brain seems to have too many channels that want to broadcast simultaneously!  Even if I try to focus my conscious mind on something, there's always another set of voices nattering on at the same time.  But trying seems to help me relax, even if I don't do it very well.

mainwriter 5 pts

I'm glad you mentioned this because I'll give it a try again. I also find meditation very difficult. My mind is so so full of thoughts. It's hard to focus on breath and "catch" or notice thoughts because there are so many of them...

Crabby McSlacker 5 pts

It's a great idea!

Unfortunately for me, I'd want to get too structured and try to make it "productive"; couldn't just let things flow.  It ended up being more like work and less like relaxation.  Sounds like you have a much better approach.

Big Girl Bombshell 5 pts

I have always had trouble with meditation.  Even hypnotherapy is difficult.  I have only had one person be able to help me into a semi trance state.  Just don't trust enough to let go. So I am told.   What I find works for me and is like my meditation, is "Morning Pages".  It's a technique I learned many years ago through Julia Cameron's The Artist Way.  It is just the physical act of pen to paper first thing when you wake up. Just let your hand move across the paper with no thoughts, punctuation or sentence structure. 

Now, after years of practice, I find I automatically take pen to paper and doodle or write words when I start to get stressed. 

As far as visualization, I need music to help.  Whenever I go to the Dentist I take the IPOD and go to the beach while he is working on my mouth.

It's about the attitude, not the scale!

Crabby McSlacker 5 pts

We're all so diffferent when it comes to what de-stresses us.  And singing to music (off key, in my case) is a great stress-reducer.

Beverly Flaxington 5 pts

As a hypnotherapist, I do teach people how to relax and I've developed my own "trigger" to remind myself to breathe and repeat "I am calm, I am confident, I am in control" over and over again until my heart rate slows and my breathing becomes more normal. It really does work.

But, truth be told -- the quiet type of relaxation isn't for everyone. Know what de-stresses me more than anything? Finding a great song I like -- especially gospel or something from the 70's -- and cranking it up and singing at the top of my lungs (not advised when others are present). It's amazing how this simple act immediately calms me AND gives me energy at the same time.

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People ( http://dealingdifficultpeople.blogspot.com/ )

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets ( http://www.understandingotherpeople.com/ )