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I wonder if I've always seen seasons in my life. Looking back, I don't remember ever feeling anxious for certain times in my life to be over. I've hated a job or two and couldn't wait for them to be over, I've hated a class or two and couldn't wait for them to be over, but in the <em>seasonal</em> aspect of my life, I feel like I've always been comfortable right where I am.
I've been a long time true believer in the concept that "Life is a journey, not a destination." I have a framed print in my living room with the words "Life is a journey." on the top left corner. It's a photo of a dad and his toddler son. The dad is painting the wall. The toddler is to his left, coloring on the newly painted wall. It was originally a two page Nissan magazine ad and I called a 1800 number to get a (free) copy of the print back in the 90's and had it framed. "Life is a journey" is something I've believed for a very, very long time. I believe that everything I've experienced - the good and the bad - has led me to the person I am today.
Because I see life through this lens, I try to sincerely pay attention, and really ENGAGE in what's happening today. I also have this overshadowing perspective that time is FLYING by. Thankfully, I haven't experienced a personal crisis that threw me face to face with what's important. But I have paid attention when friends have faced serious illness and death. My focus has been strengthened even more by Rachel Barkey's testimony. I have a deep realization of what matters to me and try to make decisions based on those priorities.
One priority? My kids.
I didn't have my son until I was 30. I had completed my education and had started working on my career. It went well. Launching my business in 1994 brought wonderful blessings, personal, professional and financial. I've been through some changes with regard to my work status as I do my best to stay true to my commitment to my family. As my family's needs change, I adapt. But work is another post. This is about family.
Older women told me that the years with kids at home would fly by. We hear that so often as young mothers, covered in baby spit up and smelling like a combination of day old b.o., curdled milk, peanut butter and playdoh and we think, "yeah, yeah, yeah, I need a shower! and a nap. and some solitude." And I really did need a shower and a nap. I desperately needed a little solitude. Sometimes I got them on the same day I needed them. Sometimes not.
. . . read the full post at Pragmatic Compendium
But I KNEW it was true. These days are FLYING by! There's an urgency about this time with my kids. I don't want to waste it. I don't want to let it slip by, while I focus on things that, in the big picture, just don't matter. I've been on the other end of that kind of mothering. I fiercely don't want that for myself or my kids. I said FIERCELY.
I get to the end of a day and really, really want to have used it well. Some days I look back and see myself saying and doing things I wish I hadn't. But I have no patience (or time) to wallow in regret. I just tell my kids I was wrong and I'm sorry. Then I start over and try again the next day. Sometimes I don't even wait for the day to end before I start over. Sometimes I catch myself in the middle of the day and change gears right then. But no matter what I say and do in my effort to achieve "a good day" there's always been one underlying foundation. I feel like I've always done it, but it took a conversation with a client a few years ago to make me conscious of it.
The kids were little. FavoriteSon was 7 and PinkGirl was 18 months old. I remember because I was working at a client site during a firm wide computer upgrade in the summer of 2002. I was with another contractor, in an attorney's office
