Tomorrow is Good Friday, the start of the most holy weekend of the Christian calendar. If I were a good Catholic, as I was raised to be, I would be taking my daughter Alex to Mass tomorrow, and we'd be the first in Church on Sunday's Easter celebration.
Instead, we're likely going to be staying home.
It's not that I don't believe anymore: I do. It's not that my husband wasn't raised Christian: he was. It's just that, over time, I've become less enamoured with organized religion. I still pray every night, and I still believe, but I rarely go to church.
And yet.
And yet, there are things about my Catholic upbringing that stay with me. Every Lent, I give something up, or make a point of doing something special, just as I always have. I always put out my Nativity scene (or creche, as we called them in my homeland of Trinidad) every Christmas. And every Easter and Christmas we have all the traditional foods, and I sing the traditional songs.
My husband also believes in a higher power, but he pays even less importance on the rites of Christian holidays. And so, when it comes to our daughter, most of the religious instruction is up to me.
I've taught my daughter to pray every night before she goes to bed. We talk about God and heaven. We don't teach her about Santa Claus (although she believes in Santa Claus because of her friends in school); however, I do teach her about the story of Christmas -- in fact, when I set up our creche every year, I set it up without the baby Jesus -- he only appears on Christmas Eve, after Alex goes to bed, and every Christmas morning, before she opens her presents, she stares at the manger in wonder. In addition, I teach her of the practicies of other faiths -- yoga, and meditation -- as other ways for her to communicate with God. At 5 years old, she seems to have a childlike understanding of spirituality that works for her.
I don't claim to be the best mother when it comes to religious education -- I fully admit that I fail mightily in many ways. But for our family, this seems to work best, and I feel like our daughter is growing up with a faith and strong sense of spirituality, no matter how untraditional it may seem.
I'd love to hear how religious education (or the decision to exclude a religious practice from your family life) works for you.
(Incidentally, and coincidentally, I discussed a related topic with Rebecca Woolf and Alice Bradley on Momversation recently -- click here to see our discussion.)
Karen is a writer and photographer in Houston, Texas. You can read and see more of her life at Chookooloonks.
Comments
You're so not alone.
I've been surprised by the response to Homeschooling Religion (my take). I think we're all sort of searching for a new way to handle faith. Somehow organized religion has gotten off-track, or else the good ones are hiding themselves well. :)
Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.
Sigh
I need to go to church for Easter. My mother needs it. I need it. I am not looking forward to it. I am not looking forward to grabbing reluctant children. I am not forward to the new person stares...though I have to admit that waiting until Easter has been in part deliberate. Who knows who is really new and who is really a twice a year church person on Easter Sunday?
But...the very community I love about a church family has the same drawbacks as a family in a way. Can I pick a traditional enough church for my mother that will feel good to me the lesbian mom of 6...and some of those 6 are very definitively not Christian?
~TW
Retro-Food
I've compromised
A few years before my daughter was born I started attending a Unitarian church. I find a nice balance there - she learns about Christianity, as well as many other religions and religious practices. I like that she has a religious community there, and that she's learning more than I can teach her. But at home we do focus more on the Christian holidays and practices.
It's sort of a compromise. It's organized, but not in the way the churches I used to attend were organized. It's not perfect, but for now it's working well enough.
~ Amber
www.strocel.com