The reluctant mother of the bride

BlogHer Original Post

Being a reluctant Mother of the Bride makes it incredibly difficult to write an actual blog post about my daughter's wedding. I've got a lot to say about the people who attended and various pieces of the weekend but about the actual wedding I'm not sure what to say. (Oh look, there's a squirrel running across our fence carrying a margarine container!)

TW's no help either. Her suggestions were "We went and now we're home" (true but this isn't Chatter, 140 characters won't cut it) or "The pork was good, the family wasn't" (which is inaccurate.)

wedding 031I can't do one of those sweet and mushy "my daughter was beautiful" posts. She was definitely beautiful but she's always beautiful. Her husband was adorable - those eyelashes and his quick to blush cheeks have always made him pretty irresistible.

I could blog an update on that whole wedding planner thing because oh my goodness the wedding planner most definitely did not make the wedding or the reception easy on the bride and groom.

The ceremony itself is certainly bloggable. The kids were married by the groom's father and he's a trip and a half. We laughed our way through the ceremony except when he was talking about God and Jesus - and there was a good bit of talking about God and Jesus. A surprising amount, actually.

I could talk about the angst associated with divorced and re-partnered parents of the bride but that is an old complicated story which only mucks things up. I lived it once, I don't want to re-live it via blog post.

I could tell you about the crazy wonderful people who attended and the just plain crazy people who attended but that would take about 50000 words more than I have time to use for this post.

I could blog about the patriarchy.

I could blog about tradition. (The borrowed pearls and the new pearls)

I could blog about the food.

I could blog thousands of words about watching Danielle do Jenn's makeup for the wedding. I'm so not a BeautyHacker....

If you watch the video I've embedded, (as opposed to the other 11 I uploaded of the makeup/hair prep), you'll hear Jenn say that she isn't going to wear a sweater if it gets cold because she likes her tattoo and wants to show it. Grace left a note on one of the photos I posted about how this generation is comfortable mixing tradition with body mod and she's right. Every single woman under 30 (and a bunch over 30) had at least one visible tattoo - many had several. None of them have a tattoo wedding ring like my friend Sharon's brother, (and while I'm not squeamish about tattoos, I'm happy they don't.)

I have a lot to say about all of those things and more that I haven't listed. Yet none of those things feel like the right thing for an MOB to say in a post-wedding blog post. What are the right things to say about a wedding? I have absolutely no idea, so I went surfing for inspiration.

Lisa & Rowley's kid friendly campsite wedding gave me an idea. She shares her two favorite moments from her wedding.

I have two. One is walking in, holding my daughter, Grace's hand. I had a feeling of "oh wow, this is real" as I glanced at those gathered and walked towards Rowly.

The other was during the ceremony when Rowly was reading his vows to me. He was saying all these wonderful things about why he loved me. He came to a part where he talked about how I reminded me of his mother and how he wished she could be there (she has Alzheimer's). And his voice broke and his eyes filled.

Now I don't normally choose favorite moments but my favorite moment was the one where we all realized that nobody had tissues. The bride and groom were sobbing, most of the people in the front rows were sobbing, (no I wasn't one of them.) The maid of honor mouthed "Do you have tissues?" of course I didn't... and we started playing telephone trying to get tissues up to the bride. (Thank you to whoever dug into her purse three rows back and passed them up!)

I was reading Not Me Monday and saw this...

I did NOT bawl like a baby when I saw the beautiful bride Hannah dance with her father and then hop off the stage into a group hug with her brothers and sister where they all bawled together, and I did NOT bawl just watching them. My husband did NOT tear up at the sight as well:)

When I say I did not need the tissues that everyone else needed, I'm not kidding. I didn't cry. I think I was more weepy during the reception than the actual ceremony. I was slightly teary eyed at a couple of points during the event (like when Jenn was crying and totally forgot her vows and when Teddy couldn't get his out at all for a few seconds) but no, I never really cried. Thank goodness. I'm not the really emotional sort but I have been known to cry at sentimental events and fully expected to cry at the wedding.

Can I leave it with...

She was a very happy young woman and I was happy to be there for her?

~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings

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