Repeat Offender: Hooking Up with Exes
Sometimes, all you want
is something new. Something different. Something to catch you by
surprise. For the past few weeks, all I’ve wanted is someone new and
exciting and not from our college and willing to sweep me away to
experience things out of the norm.
I ran into
him at a campus event Saturday; it was the first time we’ve seen each
other since April. I was sneaking out of a show early when he shyly
tapped me on the arm to say hi. When I looked up to see who it was, it
took a minute for it all to register. I had never seen him in this
country, let alone on this campus. In fact, the last time I saw him was
in my London flat, in the morning, saying goodbye. This was weird.
The Youngin’ was the
only boy I seriously hooked up with (is that an oxymoron?) while I was
abroad last year, but it fizzled after about eight weeks. We were both
traveling, hosting guests, and running around London experiencing new
and crazy things. We had chemistry, but I got bored of having an
American boy around all the time, especially one who wasn’t going
through all the same life-changing experiences as me. It wasn’t the
right time for anything real, and so it faded.
But when I saw him
Saturday, I could tell he wanted to talk more, to feel out the
situation. It surprised me a bit, to think that there was an ellipsis
on our relationship where I had always thought there was a period, end
of story. Since I had to run off after a few seconds, I decided to send
him a text saying we should catch up; I had no idea it would spark an
entire night of texting that would up the ante for our reconnection.
At first, we sent a
couple of messages back and forth about never running into each other
on campus, and making it a point to hang out and fill each other in on
the rest of our study abroad experiences. But a few hours (and beers)
later, the drunk-text level was reached and we both said how we wished
he were twenty-one so that we could hang out at bars. Explicitly, it
seems innocent enough, a few texts saying we’d like to hang out in the
future, but I’m still surprised that even that much interaction really
happened. I never thought we would start talking again.
The next day, I asked a
friend what she thought of the whole situation. I had hooked up with
this kid for two months and it hadn’t turned into anything substantial,
so why would I consider restarting anything with him? She
shook her head. Study-abroad is not real life, she explained, and just
because you didn’t fall in love over there doesn’t mean there’s not
potential. Nothing bad or monumental happened to end our relationship;
our study abroad circumstances just got in the way.
I wonder if she’s right,
and if there is still potential for something to happen. I also wonder
how a reconnection would even play out logistically. He’s not
twenty-one, and I hang out almost exclusively at bars. We can chat
online and text, but as we all know by now, that’s not really the best
way to start a romantic relationship you want to be meaningful.
So I have my
reservations, but I’m willing to remain open to whatever might happen.
I’m still attracted to him, and I guess we didn’t really give it a fair
shot while tramping around Europe for a pretty unreal five months of
our lives. I don’t know if anything will happen, or could even work out
if it does happen, but since November is the month of déjà vu, I might
as well just go with it. At least until December.