Resigning From Your Job: The Joy, The Stress, The Lessons Learned
by Elana Centor

Tomorrow is my daughter's last day as a shift manager at our local coffee shop. There was no resignation letter. Technically, she is not resigning --she's just not going to be on the schedule since she'll be in Vancouver for her second year of college.

The rule is as long as she works once every six weeks, she maintains her employee status. Last year, her manager called her every six weeks and paid her a couple of bucks for the call to maintain her active status. That way, she was able to slide right back into the job without a lot of fuss.

However, after a summer of demanding latte drinkers, Berit is hoping her manager will not place those calls this year. I suggested a resignation letter, she disagreed.

Because I have spent the bulk of my career working for myself I have only written two Letters of Resignation. They were short and sweet. Something like, " This is to officially inform you that April 21, 1978 will be my last day of employment. I am moving to Minnesota."

When I resigned from my last job in 1997, it was even briefer.
There are lots of blogs and websites that offer resignation letter templates.

For many people, work is never sweeter than the 2-3 weeks after handing in the resignation letter. Being a short-timer can be glorious thing. Even though most people resign for a better opportunity or because they just hate their jobs that much, there is some angst about doing the deed.

Bebehblog, oh crap,I'm actually pregnant writes,

I didn’t sleep very well last night because I was busy composing my resignation letter in my head. It usually started with “Thank you for all the opportunities but I won’t be continuing with the company” and ended with “GOOD LUCK FINDING SOME OTHER SUCKER WHO WILL DO THIS JOB YOU UNGRATEFUL JERKS!!!”
[] if they were smart, my company would offer me the option to do most of my job from home. But I’ll keep (most of) my complaining to myself, and try to get up my nerve to turn in a short, polite, early resignation letter so no one can accuse me of abandoning the company.

After work that day, she wrote a footnote to the post:

Footnote: Yesterday made me want to quit. Today actually went pretty well, with lots of “good jobs” and “we appreciate yous”. I know in the long run I’m leaving one way or another, so why is it so hard to just SAY so?

Jelaine of Along The Path I Go shares the experience of having an "evil" co-worker resign. First,she shares the lessons learned by working with a difficult employee.

As of 5pm yesterday evening, she submitted her letter of resignation (after cussing out another employee in a meeting). And today, it was decided that her resignation will come into effect immediately (as to ensure that she does not deface company property), because under the circumstances, her departure arose from a not so positive situation.
[]
I knew yesterday afternoon when she kept popping off at the mouth that she was done for. I knew from there, she was about to go down in flames, but it was her own damn fault. She was ultimately the unfortunate demise of her demeanor. At times she made me so angry and upset that she made me physically want to spit!! She caused me numerous headaches, and various bad moods that sometimes lasted upwards of an entire week. She was nasty, mean, malicious, selfish, disrespectful, rude and down right contradictory.

I will say this, through-out her evil rein, she has taught me one thing, and that’s how to better control my emotions (and just how NOT to treat people) when placed around a, “socially unemployable” (as my co-workers called her) person. I feel horrible for her, because I wouldn’t wish the loss of a job on anyone (because there were going to fire her if she didn’t resign), but what’s done is done and it’s time to move on and pick up the shattered pieces.

Talk to most career consultants and they will tell you the one thing you absolutely do not want to do is resign from a job before you have another one.
Alan Sklover has a great piece outlining 21 Necessary Precautions before resigning from your job

5. Get Your Next Employment Confirmed First: If there’s one pre-resignation precaution you need to remember and follow, it’s this one: you don’t want to resign and then later find out that your next job hasn’t materialized. Nothing could be worse.

While nothing you can do can make 100% sure your next job will become a reality, you can and should do everything in your power to make sure there are as few hitches as possible in the process.

And yet, there are times when you are so miserable that you can't follow that piece of wisdom.Sunk Costs Are Irrelevant shared his decision to quit a great paying job that he loved because it was located in New Jersey and not North Carolina where his family lives.

He wrote that he quit because it was the right thing to do. He also said, that the decision begged some questions.

  1. Why quit now? It's that bad. We're just very unhappy here. To be honest the timing from a real estate perspective is really bad. The timing from a personal perspective is perfect because it is NOW.
  2. Why not wait until you find a new job? I have been looking (so have my recruiter contacts), but it's difficult to do from NJ. I have a specialized job. And, I'm sure many employers would prefer to hire locally rather incur the high costs of an employee relocation package. I think my chances are better with a local address and the time to focus on the search.

Would you quit your job, even if you were miserable, if you didn't have another one lined up? The author of Sunk Costs Are Irrelevant says he has enough savings to last 6-12 months. Would that be enough security for you to say, " Take This Job And Shove It?"

Elana blogs about business culture at FunnyBusiness

Submitted by Elana Centor (view blog) on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 18:31

Comments

 

I hate quitting

I hate quitting whether or not I have another job lined up. Quitting makes me queasy.

And I really hate resigning and doing that whole two weeks notice thing. I'm shuddering just remembering my exit from my previous job. Nightmare!

My daughter is tired of her job and has been tired of her job for quite awhile. I spent some time encouraging her to find another one, before she quit - and she thought that was a good idea but she didn't try to find a new job very hard and then she just stopped looking.

There are days when I'm tempted to tell her to just quit, without having another job lined up - she'll find another one, I'm sure. But, it goes against everything I am to give such advice. I'm the safe and practical one. The idea of not having a job to go to is just not something I can dive into willingly, no matter how miserable I might be.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Submitted by Denise on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 15:47
 

The Grass is not always Greener...

Sometimes the grass is not always greener by changing jobs. You may find the same issues at a new job because you always take you with you. Whatever life's lesson needs to be mastered at the current job I say; Don't Quit! Then if and when you leave you really are getting a freash start.

Good quote:

If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job. ~Malcolm S. Forbes

 

Jody DeVere
President
www.askpatty.com
www.carblabber.com

Submitted by Jody DeVere -- Ask Patty on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 16:54
 

When Your Spouse Quits Without A Job To Go To

Early in my marriage my husband quit his job because of a conflict with his manager. It was one of the those impulsive decisions plied on by bad tempers all around.

i was not amused. While I knew that he would get a job and that he was a hard worker the idea that he didn't think about the potential ramifications of being jobless was just astounding to me.

I get feeling trapped and miserable in a job --been there, done that. But, regardless of my unhappiness,  it would have to be something unethical or illegal for me to quite a job without a spectacular severence or a job offer.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Submitted by Elana Centor on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 17:29
 

Been there. Been through that. Didn't like
it.

I think that differences in the way you and your spouse react in situations like that can be some of the biggest tests in a relationship. I wish there was a way to come to some compromise about how to approach such conflicts well before they happen. 

 

Kim
BlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

Submitted by Kim Pearson on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 17:40
 

I have been trapped and miserable too.

I found having a deadline helped.  I told my boss I was unhappy, told him what I would like to change, or what help I would need... and mentally gave him 3 months to come up with the goods.  Suffice to say, nothing changed, and my issues were never mentioned again.

At the end of the three months, I hadn't actually started looking, but my CV was up to date, and I knew where to start.  Then a recruiter found me.  But I would have started looking that week anyway.

I think I have a recipe for that...

Submitted by kazari on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 18:19
 

I wouldn't but my husband did

I've been reading a lot on the brain research lately and paying particular attention to the differences in the brains of boys and girls...and after my husband gave his two weeks notice a few weeks ago -without having a new job - I'm thinking maybe the results of some of those studies I've been reading make a heck of a lot of sense!  I have never quit a job impulsively, so when my husband called and said "I did it. I gave my notice", I think I literally squeaked. He has since found a new one, but wow - it was a stressful few weeks. And an internal stress because I didn't want to add to his doubt, anger, shame, and anxiety about his (rather impulsive) decision to leave by making it difficult at home. It wouldn't have helped the situation (but now when my husband says, "I'm a pain in the ass", I don't disagree so vehemently anymore!).

I feel for him - and everyone whose job is over-the-top unbearable. And I'm probably lucky that the most horrible of the jobs I have ever had involved slinging wings in a bar. And the wings weren't so bad. And the drinks were free. And even there, I gave notice. I'm not sure that I'd be able to make a quick move w/o a letter of resignation or 2 weeks notice. 

Notions of Identity

Submitted by Laracolvin on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 18:36
 

So Do Men Quit Jobs More OftenThan Women
Without Another Job?

  Would love to know the answer to that one. Also, would love to hear more about that research about brain research -- is what you read indiating that men are wired in such a way they they are more likely to quit their job impulsively without discussing with their significant other?

Glad that your husband landed another job. Been there. Done That. Did I mention it's my "former husband?"

 

 

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Submitted by Elana Centor on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 00:01
 

research on gender in education

I work in a single-gender school, and this year our professional development is centered around the most current studies exploring how girls and boys may benefit from a different kind of teaching in the classroom at different stages in their lives. So the studies of the brain research I referenced (once I get the actual study in my hands and not a summary, I'll follow up w/more specific info) indicated boys were more impulsive at different ages than girls, and so I made the leap in questioning a possible correlation myself. Which is dangerous at times, of course, and I was just wondering out loud about it. It would make an interesting study though, no?

 

 

Notions of Identity

Submitted by Laracolvin on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 05:05
 

So Do Men Quit Jobs More OftenThan Women
Without Another Job?

  Would love to know the answer to that one. Also, would love to hear more about that research about brain research -- is what you read indiating that men are wired in such a way they they are more likely to quit their job impulsively without discussing with their significant other?

Glad that your husband landed another job. Been there. Done That. Did I mention it's my "former husband?"

 

 

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Submitted by Elana Centor on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 00:01
 

It depends

When I was about 20 I was in a job where the management changed for the worse. We moved location, I got a new boss who I didn't like much or respect and the workload dropped. I started getting sick all the time and then the thought of going to work made me ill so much that I quit. It was liberating even though I didn't have another job to go to.

But now that I'm older, a bit more sensible and have a mortgage to pay and a child to support I probably wouldn't do this. I would stick it out until I found another job.

So I think quitting without another job to go to really depends on your present circumstances.

Jen at Semantically driven and Safari suit

Submitted by jaycee on Thu, 08/21/2008 - 19:07
 

thinking about it

i'm thinking about leaving my job, and I don't yet have another lined up. I do have a side business that brings in a small annual income, and it could be expanded--enogh to meet our expenses? I'm not sure. I won't know that until I try. I've been looking at ways we can cut our expenses and get bills paid off. I have a 'kill date' in mind--December 1, unless something drastic happens to change my mind.

The reason I'm considering leaving is that my job has been changed under me to be something I never intended or wanted as a career. I've let my bosses know how I feel about it, I've filed a formal complaint (which now makes me a "complainer," as opposed to what the process used to be, a grievance procedure--interesting use of words) but so far I don't have a reply to the complaint. The situation has caused me so much stress (the job was stressful enough before) that I was off work for two weeks with chest pains and shortness of breath.

So if it's my health that is being affected, yes I will leave without the security net of another job. At this point, the one evil outweighs the other.

 

Granny Sue Stories from the Mountains and Beyond www.grannysu.blogspot.com susannaholstein@yahoo.com

Submitted by grannysu on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 04:26
 

I did it

About two years ago I gave notice at a job without having another job lined up.  I told my boss I would stay through the end of an important project - about three months - but would be leaving after that.  I had been miserable and half-heartedly looking for another job for two years before that, but it wasn't until I took the plunge and actually gave notice that I got serious about the job search.  I ended up finding another job and leaving the old one about three weeks earlier than my original end date.  But honestly, I would have left even if the new job hadn't materialized, even if it meant finding a temp job for awhile.  And I wasn't a kid - I was 39 years old and had a mortgage, but life is too short to be miserable all day!   

--Liz

I blog about creating a life worth living at:  www.inventingmylife.blogspot.com

Submitted by LizzieH on Fri, 08/22/2008 - 09:10
 

I've quit but my husband hasn't

Before I became self employed, it was nothing for me to quit a job.  Sometimes with a notice, sometimes without and sometimes without another job lined up.  In my case, I longed to work for myself and my husband supported me. 

I never could find that "job" that fulfilled me. To anyone- woman or man, young or old, my child or yours, don't continue to work a job that you don't enjoy.

My advice, consider starting a small business while you're still employed full-time. That way, if the job decided to terminate you or you decided to fire your boss, the transition would be easier.

Tammie

Gift Basket Expert Advice

Because Making a Great Impression is the Only Option

 

Submitted by Tammie on Sun, 08/24/2008 - 00:36
 

I've done it

I quit my last job before knowing for sure that I had a place to go.  But, I was 90% sure that I was going to get an offer (I did, two days later) and I had generated a lot of interest in my resume at the time (and the economy was much better). 

I'm not sure if I'd do it again though.  It's the sort of thing that is much easier to do when you're younger and have less responsibility.  Now that I'm married and we're saving for a house, I'm not sure that I could be that impulsive.

It's really a situational thing, sometimes you feel like you just need to get out of a bad situation before you get sucked in forever.  That's always my fear.  Most of the time, though, bad jobs don't seem so bad a few weeks after you've quit - especially if you don't know when you'll get another paycheck!

The best thing to do (and also the hardest thing to do) is to try to get all your ducks in a row before you leave.  Line up side work or save enough money to get you by for a few months.  It's worth it to avoid the stress of being unemployed in a bad economy.

http://www.NextRichGirl.com

Submitted by anotherjen on Fri, 08/29/2008 - 10:53
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