Response to: I Don't Like Spanking My Kids, But I Do It Anyway
My first reaction to your post was," Phew! it's good to know there are moms like me and it is okay to spank......" Also there were many moms that were candid about resorting to spanking. Yes, I know that only spanking works with my 4 year old daughter who has toppled every imaginable equation within our otherwise peaceful household. I wasn't spanked as a child and I wasn't a spanking person with my first born, and neither did I spank my daughter until she turned 3. Well, so what happened when she turned three ? She was giving us extreme terrible-three's (yes, two was easier) and I was going nuts trying to maintain peace. As I began browsing to know what other parents did, the thought of spanking firmly planted its seed in my head. I saw an episode of Desperate Housewives where Bree spanks a child. Later, I saw a man spank his naughty son on the staircase in our apartment. He quickly, withdrew his hand noticing us around. The next time she drove me crazy with her defiance, pat! she got it. Those thoughts from the back of my head sprang forth into action. What was worse, it worked! She immediately followed instructions and got back to routine like nothing happened. Since then, I've rarely used spanking because now, every time I tell her, that the consequence would be a spanking, she gets in line. She knows, I mean it.
Fast forward to now, I'm reading some comments and began introspecting. Yes, I see some ill effects it has had on my rather well behaved first born. He doesn't spank his sister, but believes he could get me to do it for him. And now I suspect, soon he might take matters into his own hands. So you see, it is a cyclical reaction. One of us does it, another does too. Yet another and another. Well,, that's how I started. But I'm glad I read some comments from the other side too. Yes, spanking works. And in my case, I use it straight away - not as a last resort. No tears, no drama and she promptly relays back to me why she got it and realizes her mistake. While it does bring order into a situation that could have gotten out of hand, it just doesn't feel right. And I'm going to do something about it. I am dropping this recently acquired tool right away. I'll find something else that won't bother me as I go to bed.
Finally, to those that say, "Every child is different and only the Mom would know what works for her," Let me tell you, there are those like me that aren't so clear. There are those like me, that look into the internet for cues and think, "Well, if it works for her, it should work for me too" That's the inherent danger of presenting spanking as an option.
Thank you for bringing this up.