Bio
Socially awkward, clumsy, and uses the wink at inappropriate times...
 
 
 
 

Most Popular

The Return to School with Two: Do We Coddle the Youngest?

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 42
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

The breeze was cool as I walked my two little men to school. I was in disbelief that the summer was over and they were growing up before my very eyes. My oldest was going in grade four he ran ahead with excitement while my youngest entering grade two had straggled behind with trepidation.I balanced my stride in the middle between two the two attempting to look back and forward at the same time.

I admired how tall they grown and how independent they had become over the summer. It was this morning my oldest helped cook the eggs and my youngest tied his sneakers with pride.

School-HallwayIt was when we arrived at school my oldest looked at me, "Mom do you have to go with me? I know where I am going?"

"But don't you want me to meet your teacher?"

"You have met her already."

"It's fine. We will just walk you to your class."

"Please don't Mom! Please! I 'm a big man now. I can find it myself."

I saw the dread in his eyes, the fear I would walk him to class, and I knew my son was on the verge of becoming a tween. It was with that I let him run to his friends and find his way to his own class. I sighed it seemed too soon that he was growing up before my very eyes.My heart melted as he went on his way and it took all of my power not to hug him in public.

I then walked my youngest to his class. It was there I walked him into the classroom, helped him find his desk, and then assisted in unpacking his school supplies. I hovered over him until the teacher arrived and introduced herself to us. I gave him a smile as tear a welled up in my eye and wondered would he need me next year to help with finding his class and unpacking his school supplies.

I cherish the time with my sons. They are only young once and one day neither of them will need me at all. It's best to be there for them now before they grow to old and no longer want to be seen with their Mom.

Do you think parents tend to coddle the youngest more? Or is that an unfair assumption?

Photo Credit: studiostoer.

  • 42
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
infinebalance 5 pts

My oldest is in grade 2 and she already has it all figured it. My youngest just started school -- we have been celebrating for over a week!! Coddled - yes I'm afraid so.

victorias_view 241 pts

infinebalance The first week of school is a huge step for them. The change in routine and getting to know their fellow peers. I may have over celebrated too! But it's such a special time for them. It's funny how the oldest is always just a little more independent.

Jane Miller 11 pts

I seem to recall that you are the youngest. You definitely were coddled if my memory serves me correctly (and I'm not that much older that it wouldn't!)

victorias_view 241 pts

Chuckles! I was not...They just felt guilty for everyone threatening me to put me on the trading post!

Jane Miller 11 pts

They'll always need their mom. Wait till they move back in with you when they are 30+.

victorias_view 241 pts

Jane Miller Hahaha! They have got big plans when they move out on their own! I think I might feel a tear...Sniff!

Bad Luck Detective 7 pts

Of course we coddle the baby. That's why we have another child. The oldest tends to be self-sufficient almost from the womb. I waited 8 years to have my third. She’s 23 and still calls me Mommy. She rarely says “Dearest” after.

victorias_view 241 pts

Bad Luck Detective Oh My Goodness! You make me laugh! My oldest is very self sufficient while my youngest seems to like me to do everything for him still...No matter what age they will always be my babies :)

HomeRearedChef 73 pts

victorias_viewBad Luck Detective You guys are going to make me cry! Though I am so enjoying my children grown, and my grandsons, I still miss them when they were young. But it is true, "no matter what age, they will always be my babies." And at every given opportunity, I will steal hugs and kisses from them. :)

victorias_view 241 pts

HomeRearedChefBad Luck Detective I sneak in every night before I go to sleep and give them a little peck on the cheek! I wonder how long I can get a way with it...

Bad Luck Detective 7 pts

victorias_view

Reminds me of "Love You Forever" the book by Robert Munsch. Now you both have me crying.

Lisa Tognola 6 pts

I'll have to ask my ten-year-old if she thinks I baby her. But I'll have to take the pacifier out of her mouth if i want an answer ;)

victorias_view 241 pts

Lisa Tognola You just made me laugh out loud! It's refreshing to know I'm not the only one :)

Julie McGuire 6 pts

I'm sure I did, however, my youngest is my only son and today he is 13. He lets me hug him but I don't think he particularly likes it. Sigh.....

victorias_view 241 pts

Julie McGuire Chuckles! I always dive in for the sneak hug when they least expect it ;)

Grace Hwang Lynch 21 pts

I know I tend to do it. My oldest had to get pushed out of the nest more, because I had a toddler to take care of. Also, I don't know if it's nature or nurture, but my younger one has the kind of personality that *demands* and enjoys attention. Sigh.

victorias_view 241 pts

Grace Hwang Lynch I suspect my youngest enjoys a little attention and the occasional pep talk. My oldest just goes with the flow ready to dive into the next adventure. I wonder if it is just a little bit of both?

dumpyourfrump 6 pts

I coddle my youngest for sure. I have twins who are five and I feel like I do it more than I did with my eldest, even when she was little. There's something about birth order I think that is hard to escape. :)

victorias_view 241 pts

dumpyourfrump I think there is something to do with the link of birth order, In some regards my oldest is more confident in social situations whereas my youngest is more apt to be shy. I tend to pay more attention to his emotional needs such as when it comes to things such as the first day of school or any social situation.

JennaHatfield 39 pts

I can't decide if we coddle our youngest or if we forget that he is, in fact, two years younger and thus expect too much of him. Whoops...

victorias_view 241 pts

JennaHatfield Possibly? It's funny because our youngest does everything in his power to keep up with his older brother and friends. Sometimes I may forget that he is in fact 20 months younger then his brother and is much more shy. I think that is why I'm more apt to worry over him more...

feelingbeachie 8 pts

I am an only child.... I think I my mom could still coddle me she would - lord knows she tries... But, I think it really depends on the kids, and the moms....

victorias_view 241 pts

feelingbeachie Chuckles! I guess sometimes things never change with our own mothers ;) I think it does depend on a combination of both the personalities of the mother and her children.

HomeRearedChef 73 pts

I so agree! It does depend on the child's personality, but it is also a combination of what a mother is like. My father, an only child, was never coddled by his mom (his mom was not physically or with words affectionate), and he says that he always craved it, It was just not in my grandmother's nature to coddle. I know first hand. (Smile!)victorias_view feelingbeachie

victorias_view 241 pts

HomeRearedCheffeelingbeachie I don't remember either of my grand parents being really nurturing...Do you think it was the era they were raised in?

HomeRearedChef 73 pts

Now that you mention it, that may be the case. My father's parents were white, and my mother's parents were from El Salvador, and my mother said that her mother was not nurturing either. Come to think of it, my mother wasn't either. LOL! I was...with all of my kids. And I still am. I love hugging and kissing them...at every opportunity. (Smile!)victorias_view feelingbeachie

victorias_view 241 pts

HomeRearedCheffeelingbeachie Hahaha! I'm the same way! Even when they don't want hugs and kisses! My grand parents were the more suck it up if you scraped your knee type but my Mom had her moments. I remember after a big fight she would always make my favorite dessert :)

9to5to9 5 pts

I find myself with my back up just because of the way the question was phrased: Do parents tend to "coddle" the youngest more. That very word to me seems pejorative.

Like Victoria, I have two sons, two years apart. This year they entered third and first grade. Do they have very different personalities? Heavens yes. The oldest has been running at the world full tilt from the moment he was born - the doctor put him on my stomach and he tried to raise his head and looked around. The younger curled his head into my neck. Obviously there was something very different about them from very early on. I don't think you can blame - or attribute, depending on your view - that on coddling unless it's possible to do that in utero.

I think Jenna hit it on the head. My kids are parenting differently because they are different people.

victorias_view 241 pts

My intent of the question was never meant to be negative or misleading - it was something that I wondered to myself since my parenting style towards both of my sons can sometimes be different due to their personalities.

My oldest is very independent in social situations were my littlest at times can be very shy. I think I take over more for him because he lets me and I like to be able to still take care of him.

The more I discuss it with everyone it seems that it might not be the age of the child but the personality of the child. Do you think personality traits are linked to the birth order of the child?

HomeRearedChef 73 pts

Typically I think we do tend to coddle our youngest. I was accused by my family that I did. And I see that my daughter does tend to coddle her youngest, but in the safe environment of home. (Smile!)

Reading your blog today brought back so many fond memories of my children when they were little. I miss that. I miss them little. Sigh!

They are all grown now, and I am glad to report that they like me again, and always hug and kiss me. I cherish these new times!

~Virginia

victorias_view 241 pts

HomeRearedChef It's funny! Is it because the oldest does have different personality traits of the youngest? Maybe it does have to do with adjusting to different personalities.

I'm also very happy that I could bring back so many fond memories for you! It must be a wonderful time for you and you must cherish being a grand mother. As you know it's the one thing I look forward to in the distant future. I can spoil them and then send them home ;)

HomeRearedChef 73 pts

victorias_view Due to circumstances in life, my daughter is back home, living here with my two grandsons. Actually, my youngest is home with us as well. Divorces happen. Sigh! But I am enjoying having them all here, and especially watching my grandsons. For the moment, at least, I get to enjoy them every day, children and grandchildren. My house is full. My heart is bursting. (Smile!)

victorias_view 241 pts

HomeRearedChef Divorces do happen and they can make life very unpredictable. Your children and grand children must be very happy to have such a warm home to come back too :)

JennaHatfield 39 pts

As a sibling, I thought my brother was coddled. He was the youngest, I was the oldest and he was definitely parented differently than I was. THAT said, as a parent, I realize my parents were just parenting us differently because we were different people.

My youngest isn't coddled. But he is parented differently than my oldest son because they're just different kids.

victorias_view 241 pts

JennaHatfield I find that both of my children's personalities are very different my oldest is very independent while my littlest is still very shy. Perhaps, it might be the reason why I tend to coddle him a little bit more...

It's funny I'm the youngest in my family and my sisters claim that I got away with more. I suspect they just paved the road for me :)

Denise 105 pts moderator

I think there can be that tendency. I also think it depends on the personality of the child. Michelle Belle, as the youngest, would have wanted me to go with her pretty much all of the time because she liked to be center of attention. She already knew she could do it on her own and didn't need to prove that to anyone. LOL

victorias_view 241 pts

Denise Chuckles! I definitely have two different personalities but sometimes I suspect my littlest likes the extra attention. I also like it when he lets me dote on him. It`s just trying to find the right balance between the two :)

sassymonkey 102 pts moderator

I was the youngest. I don't think I was coddled... I do think I was raised a bit different than my siblings, for many reasons, but including the fact that my mother had much more experience raising kids by the time I came along.

victorias_view 241 pts

sassymonkey I was the youngest too! I definitely wasn't coddled. My theory was by the time I had come around my parents were exhausted by the first two sisters and just gave me a lot more freedom...I wonder then is there a difference in the way we raise boys and girls?

Conversation from Facebook

Al Mo
Al Mo

LOL, seems like I remember my mother paying my youngest sister (7 of us) to get on the school bus during elementary school.

Teresa Kindred
Teresa Kindred

We had five and the twins were the "babies" Yep, they were coddled but oh so loved!

Kelly L. Gullickson Madison
Kelly L. Gullickson Madison

Coddle away! Life's Hard Enough! They'll tell you when they are a "a big man now" and you'll have a good cry knowing you've done oh so much right by your kids.

Too many parents out there that can't or won't...