Ripping Off the Band-aide
By thejennyevolution on July 26, 2012
Hello friends. It’s time to rip off the Band-aide and just start. No more excuses. No more thinking. Just do it already, Jennifer! After all, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one simple step.
As many of you know, I’ve been running the website, www.thesensoryspectrum.com, for the past six months. We’re about to hit 1,000 following on Facebook and it just keeps growing… from my blog to my site to Pinterest. But while I’ve been sharing information with the Sensory Processing Disorder community for a while, I keep thinking about what many of these articles personally mean to me. I’m more than just some SPD mama; however, it’s been very hard to find who I am between doctor appointments, pediatric OT appointments, allergy appointments, ENT appointments. Basically, I have donned myself the Resident Medical Officer because that’s what I’ve become. But now it’s time to embrace not only the challenges my two sons face but to also reclaim myself.
When my husband and I first had children, we were shocked. (Aren’t all parents?) What we didn’t realize was that my now five-year-old had Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). What the pediatricians called “colicky” about sent me screaming from the house in tears. Of course, now I understand. But those years of not understanding, of blaming myself, of believing I was a poor mother because I couldn’t help or manage my child, added to sending our house into a spiral of stress, tension and despair, and me into a deep depression.
A couple years into having kids, a very smart friend told me — “When you have kids, you lose half of your personality. It comes back but not right away.” Now add a couple of SPD kiddos to the mix. I feel like I’ve lost myself in this process, and I’m ready to come back fighting. I don’t think I’ll ever have the “ideal” house — does anyone? — but I’m striving to regain the right balance of helping my sons so they can be successful down the line, however they choose to define that, and allowing myself to find the person that I am.
Of course, easier said than done. When I’m not with my kids, I’m thinking about them, worrying about them, wondering what I could be doing better for them. But this is the course for all parents. So I welcome you to The Jenny Evolution, my own personal journey, insights, knowledge, messes and triumphs. Most people call me Jennifer. But we’re going to become intimate friends, so call me Jenny.
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