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I have learned to be thankful and not regretful. I am thankful for my pain and pleasures, thankful for my successes and failures. These things have made me strong and solid as a rock...not easily broken. Come what may; I have been permanently programmed to solve and conquer due to the strength of my foundation...
Matthew 7:25 "The rain came down, the streams rose and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."
I am a woman with many flaws...far from perfect. However; I am not afraid to express myself which lifts loads from my back allowing me to "travel light". Currently, I am working diligently to reach my dreams which I am certain without a shadow of doubt, are destined to come true. Why am I so sure, you ask? Because it was written that way, that's why. I have played and been played but God works in mysterious ways. We can warn our children of danger and consequences but sometimes they just don't listen so we must punish them. My Father has punished me but I am thankful for that pain which has led me to enlightenment and I want to share it with the world.
Recently, God made it blatantly obvious that something needed to be removed from my life and I was finally able to let it go. I just felt something so powerful one day that I really had not other choice. What's funny is that deep inside, I had been feeling the weight of this thing holding me back. Unconsciously submerging me and suppressing my dreams beneath its cold wrath. I could never really "let go" and "be free" and that was always a sign that it just was not right. I know this obsession was my downfall...my "shackles". However, Momma didn't raise no quitter so even after I began to feel its pointlessness long ago; I continued to fight and battle with my mind. After a few experiences (which turned out to be absolutely unworthy and hilarious now that I reflect), my mind finally won and I began to back away slowly at first one step at a time. Eventually I woke up, covered my ears, opened my eyes and began to walk away. It was dark and lonely at first but I became determined and fearless. Out went obsession and in came logic and acceptance. I sacrificed my senses of hearing and feeling in order to increase my vision and common sense.
As I began to walk away, God immediately started pouring blessings upon me...almost drowning me in fulfillment and happiness. Everything became easier, more pleasant and even more satisfying. But one day, I stopped walking and looked back. God paused...waiting patiently as he always does as I contemplated, reminisced, analyzed and finally understood. I asked Him to share those blessings with that which my world had once revolved around. He could have done so; I am not quite sure because my back was turned and I had continued on my mission forward. Now with every step my legs are strengthening and I am realizing, achieving and being continually blessed.
I'm not the richest woman in the world (YET ) but I am comfortable. I have mounds of faith, self-confidence and self-respect and I took these things with me when I walked away. I would not trade any of it for the world! Life has taught me many things and there is MUCH more to come but thus far I have leaped over GIANT obstacles in single bounds and finally learned the true meaning of "NEED". I have learned to turn all things negative into my fuel and all things positive into my oxygen. Now that my mind is free, I am able to see that I am truly blessed and my life is filled with the undying love for God, the health, beauty and intelligence of my daughters, my family, friends, mentors, colleagues, idols, my own successes and my dreams.
God allows us to prepare our own plates at the buffet of life and He saves blessings for dessert. When you are full from worldly obsessions with finances, love, sex, etc.; there is very little room for those blessings to be bestowed. Many roads have been
