Disclosure: I received a copy of Celebrity Detox from Hachette Book Group for review.


People often assume I'm a big Rosie fan because, well, because all lesbians are Rosie fans, right? Or maybe it is because I can often be found wearing my "go blog urself" t-shirt gifted to me by a friend and former co-worker. Or maybe it's something else entirely. Maybe people assume I am a Rosie fan because I like brash, outspoken, real women.


Until today, I wouldn't have called myself a Rosie fan at all. Today, I finished Celebrity Detox - and it made me a fan.

I'm not a fan because this is a well-written book. It isn't well-written at all. Rosie repeats herself often, sometimes multiple times in the same paragraph. Her thoughts are jumbled and jump from topic to another without any real transition. I often found myself re-reading a page and wondering how it is we got from point A to point B, whose mind works that way? Rosie's does.

I'm not a fan because Rosie's book brings insight into the life of a celebrity. She doesn't. Of course some of her thoughts and experiences are applicable to all celebrities but ultimately what she shares in her book is insight into her life. Calling the book Celebrity Detox is a bit of a misnomer. Rosie's Detox is probably a more accurate name.

Whatever. It's not important. What is important is that Rosie gave me a lot of things to think about, most of which I never expected from this book.

A major conflict for me now, is how not to let me soul get small while doing mainstream television. Whether it's my own show, or whether it's a show I'm a guest on; whether it's here or there or everywhere, mainstream television has its limits, which is one reason why I sometimes think I should leave it, break out, and go fully into cyberspace, where there's a kind of radical freedom that frightens me as much as it appeals to me.

Not well-written but since you're reading this blog post, I bet you understand what Rosie's feeling, don't you? Cyberspace does provide a radical freedom - for me and for you and for someone like Rosie.

Did you see the post Heather Barmore wrote last week about soul sucking and soul selling careers?

I would suggest something and my ideas didn't seem to get the reception I'd hoped for, or maybe that was just my perception; no it wasn't.

And later in the same paragraph...

Often, at The View, or in the months before the show started, I felt like I was on a turnpike and each time I picked up some speed I'd get stopped at a toll booth, and inside there was a bored person holding out his hand in a latex glove. Pay to proceed please. It was exhausting.

I can relate to those frustrations. Working that way, for years on end, can be both soul sucking and soul selling. All of that money thrown at you to keep on selling your soul...

A topic Rosie didn't touch on nearly as often as I expected her to is her experience with self-harm. It's in there, the fat talk and her self-esteem issues but I didn't get nearly as much as I expected. Except there was this, very near the end of the book...

I had a broken arm, and no mother, and still no toys. I went to school the next day, white cast in a sling, Magic Markers ready. I was reborn. I went from the horrific "kid with the dead mom" to the interesting "kid with the cast." It was like a miracle. Eyes fomerly filled with pity and sadness now brimmed with curiousity and intrigue.

"Can I sign it? How do you take a bath? Will they saw it off?" These statements had replaced, "Think she's a ghost following you around? Think maggots are eating her eyeballs right now? Think your dad's gonna die and you'll be an orphan?"

If that isn't enough insight into Rosie's life...

I broke many bones after that first one, mostly by myself, in my bedroom, with a heavy wooden hanger or small Mets baseball bat that I got at bad day. My hands and fingers usually. No one knew. My secret.

This leads to the most difficult part(s) of Celebrity Detox. I don't think you can read more than a page without Rosie referring to her mother, her mother's death, not having a mother, looking for a mother. It's all mother longing all of the time, with Rosie. I can't relate.

I have my mom. I always have. I cannot even imagine not having her or having the hole that Rosie has in her life. It seems to color every single part of her, every decision and every relationship.

I've read a lot of criticism of Rosie for this exchange and I'll admit that I thought it was a little weird, too.

"I don't care about Donald Trump, Barbara. I don't care what he says. I don't care anything about him. What I care is this: that you did not defend me. And I have been a good, loyal daughter to you. And I want you to be a good mother to me. Don't let the bad man hurt me." I felt something sore in my throat. I tried to swallow. "It reminds me too much of my childhood," I said.

But, I didn't lose my mom when I was 10. I didn't have the childhood that Rosie had.

That's what I'm taking away from Celebrity Detox. This isn't a book about "celebrities". It's a book about life. A woman's life. Ugly and beautiful. Rich and poor. Screwed up and honest.

When Sassymonkey wrote a preview to Celebrity Detox, she had trouble finding women blogging about it. A few weeks later, I had some trouble too. That's too bad. I think a lot of women could relate, whether they are Rosie fans or not.

Here are a few links about Rosie and Celebrity Detox, from women (sorry Chris at 2288 Beckley Rd!) bloggers, that I found thoughtful or interesting.

• Jane Devin
• Connie Talk
• Ratings from 2288 Beckley Rd
• Pop Stand

~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings and Fast Times @ Homeschool High