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Looking back, I suppose it started innocently enough.
I believe it was a company called Spin Lash which got into the game first, presenting to the world a mascara with a self-rotating wand. The purpose, I believe, was so as to ensure smoother, neater application. "How cute!" I thought. "How innovative!" I marveled. I'm not sure precisely who next threw their hat into the proverbial ring, but all I know is that I was at that time involved in an Estee Lauder review, and I made a beeline for their version, Turbolash (free to me, but retailing for $32), which touted its ability to simultaneously create "volume, length, curl and separation." I was really curious as to its impact, I'll admit, but not curious enough to blow upwards of $30 for something that might be weird and/or awful. I couldn't wait to try it.
As it turned out, I did love the mascara, it did all the things it claimed, and it is a staple in my makeup bag, but that's not really what I'm here to talk about today.
I was recently perusing the aisles of Sephora, and happened upon Dior's Addict Gloss, which--get this--SPINS. You know, so as to ensure uniform dispersion of gloss, or something. Well, forgive me, but people? That's taking things a bit too far. You know what else can spin your gloss for you? YOUR WRIST. You know what else can guide you in determining whether you have applied your gloss evenly? ANY REFLECTIVE SURFACE. How lazy are we becoming with regard to our makeup application? Are we really outsourcing putting on lip gloss because we're becoming too lazy to rotate the hand that's applying it while looking in a mirror? Really?
What's next? Press n' peel eyeliner strips? Hands-free eyelash curlers? Airborne blush poofs--not unlike unmanned drones--delivering the perfect kiss of color? Oh, don't laugh. WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE.
When I think about the rapid proliferation of these more "automated"
products hitting not only the luxury cosmetic market, but the drugstore
one as well (Maybelline recently released a vibrating mascara called
Pulse Perfection), I feel...icky. Perhaps it's silly, and maybe it's trivial, but to me, there's a touch of sensory joy and a bit of satisfaction in taking the time to put on my makeup, and do it well. What's more, we all have our own little ways of doing it. Ask ten women to show you how they apply their mascara or blush ,and you will likely get ten fascinating and diverse techniques. I hate to think that --directly or indirectly--the originality and, well, quirkiness that we all have in our makeup application might get quashed somewhere down the road.
As I mentioned, the Estee Lauder mascara that I have is excellent. That said, I think I'm going to make the switch back to an, uh, analog mascara, at least for right now. There's no denying that the mascara is great; however, I'd like to rely a little bit less on its skills, and more on my own. I'd hate to forget them.
Metalia also blogs here.
