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Rotating lip gloss? Vibrating mascara? Eh. I think I'm going back to basics.

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Looking back, I suppose it started innocently enough.

I believe it was a company called Spin Lash which got into the game first, presenting to the world a mascara with a self-rotating wand. The purpose, I believe, was so as to ensure smoother, neater application. "How cute!" I thought. "How innovative!" I marveled. I'm not sure precisely who next threw their hat into the proverbial ring, but all I know is that I was at that time involved in an Estee Lauder review, and I made a beeline for their version, Turbolash (free to me, but retailing for $32), which touted its ability to simultaneously create "volume, length, curl and separation." I was really curious as to its impact, I'll admit, but not curious enough to blow upwards of $30 for something that might be weird and/or awful. I couldn't wait to try it.

As it turned out, I did love the mascara, it did all the things it claimed, and it is a staple in my makeup bag, but that's not really what I'm here to talk about today.

I was recently perusing the aisles of Sephora, and happened upon Dior's Addict Gloss, which--get this--SPINS. You know, so as to ensure uniform dispersion of gloss, or something. Well, forgive me, but people? That's taking things a bit too far. You know what else can spin your gloss for you? YOUR WRIST. You know what else can guide you in determining whether you have applied your gloss evenly? ANY REFLECTIVE SURFACE. How lazy are we becoming with regard to our makeup application? Are we really outsourcing putting on lip gloss because we're becoming too lazy to rotate the hand that's applying it while looking in a mirror? Really?

What's next? Press n' peel eyeliner strips? Hands-free eyelash curlers? Airborne blush poofs--not unlike unmanned drones--delivering the perfect kiss of color? Oh, don't laugh. WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE.

When I think about the rapid proliferation of these more "automated"
products hitting not only the luxury cosmetic market, but the drugstore
one as well (Maybelline recently released a vibrating mascara called
Pulse Perfection), I feel...icky. Perhaps it's silly, and maybe it's trivial, but to me, there's a touch of sensory joy and a bit of satisfaction in taking the time to put on my makeup, and do it well. What's more, we all have our own little ways of doing it. Ask ten women to show you how they apply their mascara or blush ,and you will likely get ten fascinating and diverse techniques. I hate to think that --directly or indirectly--the originality and, well, quirkiness that we all have in our makeup application might get quashed somewhere down the road.

As I mentioned, the Estee Lauder mascara that I have is excellent. That said, I think I'm going to make the switch back to an, uh, analog mascara, at least for right now. There's no denying that the mascara is great; however, I'd like to rely a little bit less on its skills, and more on my own. I'd hate to forget them.

Metalia also blogs here.

 

 

 

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Daharja 5 pts

Reminds me of the boring board meetings I've been a part of.

You know, you're sitting there, hearing the latest report, and thinking "when is this idiot going to shut up, so we can all go for a beer?" while doodling on a scrap of notepad.

Well, I think what happened was the yups at Estee Lauder got stuck in a really, REALLY boring board meeting, and started inventing stupid powered makeup products. Then, as a dare, they figured they'd try to see if they could get their joke products past the marketing guys and out the door.

And some idiot actually bought the deal. Hook, line and sinker. 

So now we have powered lip gloss, electric mascara, and you can bet that powered pouff blushers are on their way.

And they call this advancement! Sheesh! 

--

http://cluttercut.blogspot.com

ShamelesslySassy 5 pts

I do wish they would invent fake eyelashes that applied themselves perfectly.  I have very few eyelashes, and I'm very poor at applying fakes. Maybe that's a sign that I shouldn't be wearing them, but still. 

http://www.shamelesslysassy.com

beyondalice 5 pts

*sigh*

I was all excited to try the vibrating mascara...but after reading your blog, maybe I'll just stick with what I've got.

Ron Robinson 5 pts

Yes, companies are desperately seeking innovation in beauty products and it usually starts with a novel package or feature.

These vibrating mascaras may not work any better than traditional ones, but they do seem to stand out in a very crowded marketplace.

Ron Robinson

Cosmetic scientist, Founder, BeautyStat.com ( http://www.beautystat.com )

mashadutoit 5 pts

These types of products are also much more wasteful and enviromentally unfriendly.  Or maybe you could have a green range:

Solar powered mascara.  Or maybe that blush poof thing could have its own little wind turbine that works off  your hairdryer.

Beth Engel 5 pts

Constantly releasing new and exciting new products into the market.

I'm sticking with basics too!

--

My mame is Beth Engel. I've been running my own online business, Epic Merchandise, where I sell personalized, engraved gifts ( http://epicmerchandise.com/ ), since 2003.

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

It just seems like I'm far more likely to stick the wand in my eye if it's moving. Especially if I'm not wearing my contacts!

Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca/ ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca/ ).

JustShireen 5 pts

And have you seen the stick and peel eyeshadows? Craziness!

Bearca 5 pts

... But "airborne blush poof" made me laugh.