The Rubik's Cube of True Talent

LOL! Just went to your blog and saw your image of boxes on the assemly line.

Love the subtitle of your blog... I can seriously relate to the art of living haphazardly!

I think you should keep writing about everything and anything that interests you, by the way! :)

Rachel C. Dowling

Mom Material

Thanks for your reply. I certainly will read more of your blog. I like the way the repetition of the twisting evokes a sense of tension. Please, as the mom of a one year old I certainly have my share of anxieties. (My most recent blog post in fact explores some of these.)

I don't think of creativity as being limited to the arts. I think of it more as an adjective describing mental freedom... or an ability to "think outside the box." There's a tremendous amount of creative thinking involved in the sciences, as well.

As a culture we love to put people into boxes, and children are not exempt from this, unfortunately. I had the benefit of liberal arts schools and a lot of exposure to the arts, such as writing, music, theater and dance. Still, my mother, a writer herself, put a lot of emphasis on my writing, and sometimes that made it hard for me to breathe. It's natural and inevitable to do this as a parent. I already do it with my one year old. But I hope to strike a healthy balance between exposing him to a wealth of experiences and imposing my own preferences upon him.

Rachel C. Dowling

Mom Material

This is a tough topic Gigi. I think about this a lot too. I didn't have the opportunity to explore a lot of different activities as a child. I do believe in doing what we can to expose them to many different activities but that has to be tempered somewhat.

Like you said, I believe in doing what you love. All I can hope is that my children find that for themselves and are able to pursue it to the fullest.

Love this post!

Melissa is a pediatrcian, mom, and writer who candidly shares her adventures in parenting on her blog, Confessions of a Dr.Mom ( http://www.confessionsofadrmom.com/ ).

And worrisome. But in a fabulous way.

I, too, buy these worries under the guise of being my children's advocate. But *sigh* they'll find their way, right?!

I love the rubix cube analogy. You nailed it.

These Little Waves ( http://theselittlewaves.com )

My goodness girlfriend, you are EVERYWHERE!
So glad this piece was picked up here, its a fab piece of writing and cuts to the chase on all of our fears for the future.
We want them to have it all, but letting them have what they want ... is a balance.

http://www.bywordofmouthmusings.com

Honey- I HEAR you! I twist the damn cube all of the time.... and I layer in the complications.... if I allow one son to pursue his love of soccer, which may be his true talent but in the scope of life does it really lead him anywhere?.... to what level of sacrifice do I subject the other 5 kids to... since they need to ride along in the car to every practice drop off and pick up as well as all of the games and on and on.

And then when I want to nurture my daughter's love of gymnastics, another son's love of chess... how do I give them each what they need to find their own talent, their own passion- without burdening the rest of the family?

And what about the stuff that none of them want to do, that I feel is important... like the study of a foreign language? How long do I force it- because it is "good for them"?

Oh, if only there were a handbook!
Warmly,
Sharon
www.momof6.com ( http://www.momof6.com )

Push, don't push.

Insist, don't insist.

Immerse, don't immerse.

Twist...twist...twist.

Pushed a little...then backed off. And then my son found the talent on his own.

He didn't find it early - so I worry what that might mean. Many of his friends are more advanced than he is, but...I think he loves it more.

At least... I hope he does.

Lori, speech pathologist, writer, and business owner, blogs home-family-working-mom drama at In Pursuit of Martha Points. ( http://inpursuitofmarthapoints.com )

Alexandra  ( http://www.gooddayregularpeople.com/ ) keeps a humor blog, Good Day, Regular People.com ( http://www.gooddayregularpeople.com/ ), where she writes of small town life, raising 3 boys.

Love the thinking behind these posts. I think our personality will ALWAYS come through with our parenting style.

What you think is reflective of what you value and prize.

There is no black and white, right or wrong, we all struggle with what is our own personal issue.

I know, for me, I struggle with cultural exposure...especially in this small town.

That may not affect the average mom..but, to me? I try to cover it all . the. time.

GREAT POST, gigi. and happy to see you here!!

THANK YOU, BLOGHER!!

And at times it feels like the end product is solely dependent on us. But as time goes on I realize that they are already the person they are going to be. I just nudge and encourage from time to time. They know who they are and eventually the pieces start falling into place all by themselves.

Another beautiful, thought provoking piece Gigi. Love your work.

So true!!
I think that surrounding our kids with love and helping them believe that we will be proud of them is a good start. The other piece for me is being honest-- showing them that we have doubts at times helps them see that they don't need to have all the answers the first time. Sometimes we need to explore and reflect, and realize something was not for us before we can find something we are truly passionate about.

C.Mom

www.ciaomom.com ( http://www.ciaomom.com )

Writing is definitely a talent you found! What a thought-provoking post. I haven't put much emphasis on talents since mine is still young.But now I wonder what we'll do? Hmm, one more thing to lose sleep over!

Balancing Mama (Julie)

www.3MomsIn1.com ( http://www.3MomsIn1.com )

I think you expose yourself to as many things as possible and let them find their passion -whether or not it's their true "talent," if they don't love it, it won't matter.

Mommypants ( http://www.mommypants.com/ )

I agree, it's such a fine line. Part of me wants to urge my children to find their talent, but the other part of me thinks that some things should be left to them. If we do it all for them, show them everything, teach them everything, bring them everywhere, what will be left for them to do in life?

This is motherhood written out! I think as our children grow and learn, we just have to be there to support and encourage them...twist them a little :)

Natalie writes at Mommy of a Monster and Twins ( http://www.mommyofamonster.com ) about her day-to-day life and the chaos that comes with raising a 3 year old and 1 year old twins.

I struggle with this as well, in large part, I think, because like you, I'm not sure I ever found mine. The Boy seems to be content with what he likes, but The Girl still struggles.

~Sorta Southern Single Mom

      singlemominthesouth.com

I loved this post, and I can relate to it so much with my two kids as they've grown and changed their interests. I just have to hope that I've exposed them to enough different things that they find happiness in their lives as adults!

Great to see you over here!

Sherri blogs at Old Tweener ( http://www.oldtweener.blogspot.com/ ), where she writes about parenting and anything else that makes her laugh (or cry) while living in those years between changing diapers and wearing them.

Well, then my metaphor was effective. I'm not afraid to say that I am overanxious or that I overthink things.

Also...my definition of "talent" is not limited to creativity or creative pursuits.

Read my snappish take on parenting, life, pop culture and blogging at KludgyMom ( http://www.kludgymom.com ). Or connect with me on Twitter @AKludgyMom ( http://www.twitter.com/akludgymom )!

Rachel C. Dowling

Mom Material

http://www.blogger.com/home

What is talent, really, but a product of creativity? The emphasis should be on the process, not the product. The product, talent, will come as a result of exploring of a range of creative pursuits. To that end, I believe that every child does have a talent, and often multiple talents, and how strongly they are able to express their talent will depend largely upon what they are exposed to.

Violin and piano lessons might be enjoyable for children if they are also given the opportunity to get messy and dip their fingers into paints, or to enjoy simple unprescribed time out of doors where they might pick up a stick or move some rocks around.

A rubik's cube is perhaps an awkward metaphor for the pursuit of creativity, which is less precise in it's answers. But it is effective if describing the mindset of an anxious parent overthinking things.