Rumble in the jungle

No I am not going to discuss the Ali-Foreman fight. But what I can tell you is that Ali and Foreman had nothing on my two boys. Let me tell you when the rounds start going here, the rounds start going. Now it’s not always fisticuffs in fact most of the time it’s just plenty of mean words.  Which believe you me is bad enough. Punches may sting for awhile but those words can be damaging. And with two boys with OCD who never relent, sometimes the fighting just goes on and on and on.

I have told you stories about how the boys can’t agree on anything. How even at holiday dinners they need to be sat at opposite ends of a table because the entire meal is spent arguing about the existence of God. I do have to tell you it is tiresome. No not tiresome in the fatigues sort of body ache way, but tiresome in the enough already way. Get over it and get over yourselves. I try to tell them. People are entitled to their opinions and their opinions don’t have to agree. Of course, then you turn on the news and everyone is just so polite and respectful, NOT.

But what do you do when it’s your home and your children can’t and won’t get along. It is a very interesting problem. At least in many homes there is a neurotypical sibling whom you can try to reason with. But here in this house, with two aspies on board, it’s like arguing with two brick walls. Now don’t get me wrong, you can argue with them, you can reason with them, you can talk to them like civil humans beings and have a wonderful articulate discussion about almost anything in the world, except their sibling.

The irony that surrounds their relationship is that HSB emerged from the womb in love with his older brother. I know they say that infants don’t smile or react to people right away, but I will tell you that the only time HSB lit up as a newborn or smiled, was when collegeman was around. You saw it in his face. He lit up. His little arms would start going and you could just tell that the person he loved most in the world had just came near him. This attitude continued throughout their childhood. HSB was collegeman’s protector. Like the time I grabbed him from attacking a counselor at camp whom he thought had made his brother cry. Heaven forbid you made collegeman upset, his enforcer, HSB, would have a word with you and would make you an offer you couldn’t refuse where collegeman was concerned.

But then something very interesting started to happen. HSB realized that he was his own person. It happened some time in middle school. HSB started coming into his own, which also meant that he didn’t listen to everything that collegeman told him. Boy did collegeman not catch on to that right away. In fact it was just something collegeman was neither about to acknowledge nor relinquish the control that he had once had on his younger brother. You see it had become the way life was. Collegeman said to HSB, “jump”, and HSB would reply, “How high?” Not anymore I’m afraid. Collegeman never really took well to the change.

It wasn’t the adulation so much that he missed. I am not even sure he understood how much his brother looked up to him. But it was more that collegeman thought of himself as HSB’s mentor or sensei. Collegeman decided it was he who would guide his brother through the trials and tribulations of life. For awhile it worked out well. But then HSB decided to try life on his terms not anyone else’s. Not a good move where collegeman was concerned.

Now it has gotten so bad that if collegeman even makes a suggestion to HSB, HSB automatically rejects it without giving it another thought. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to what he perceives as his brother being a budinsky. Now I