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Socially awkward, clumsy, and uses the wink at inappropriate times...
 
 
 
 

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Running Solo

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It was just last week  temperatures plummeted to below-20 with a wind chill factor of -36. It was on those cold days I would bundle up and run. On most of the runs, I was fairly warm, with the right gear.  I enjoyed the brisk air, the snow-covered trees, and quiet trails.

I loved that there was not a soul in sight. I would just run with my thoughts and focus on my breathing. The problem maybe I enjoyed running solo a little too much.

Grace and I signed on to do the Resolution Run together. She doesn’t love running,  isn’t enjoying the cold weather, and since our last run she has become a bit of a thorn in my side.

We went out for a group run, the temperature plummeted, and it was obvious from her body language that she didn’t want to be there…The moment we embarked on our run, she started to complain, couldn’t breathe,too cold, her glasses were fogging up. I kept trying to be the cheerleader. But it wasn’t working. I could feel her negative energy seeping through her pores, festering all towards me.

I was beginning to get cranky, tired of cheering, being positive, and just wanted to get work out everything in my own head. It was hill training, it was hard, and I needed to focus on myself. The more she complained, the more tired I would become, within in minutes it all went downhill and became a very bad run. She just wasn’t in the right frame of mind and I didn’t have anymore energy to help her change her mind.  I would run ahead and then run back to check on her every few minutes. I was frustrated with her, and frustrated with myself for not being as patient or understanding as I should have been that night.

Needless, to say after we finished that run. She wasn’t happy, started to complain, I turned my ear, and went in a separate direction. The day had already been stressful with compromising with Mr. MBA, negotiating with the kids, and dealing other family issues. I just didn’t need anymore, all I wanted to do by this point was stretch, soak in a hot tub, and go to bed.

It was the  next morning she sent me a very nice email thanking me for cheering her on, checking on her, and she realized  that maybe she shouldn’t have run that night. She also recognized it wasn’t my fault that she was cold,  and her glasses kept fogging up. She also pointed out that all of her anger was festering from past  childhood experiences in phys ed.class, and I had become the target of it. I think this reflection was good. But for me it also made me realize maybe I’m better running on my own. It’s my time and I don’t have to deal with emotions, or other people’s baggage. Is it wrong to think this way?

The weather, has finally warmed, once again, but we decided to take a break from each other for the rest of the week. And maybe next week will be our week? It was our last run together which taught me  that sometimes running with a partner is like a marriage, it takes compromise, patience, and communication. But sometimes I just don’t want to compromise, communicate, or be patient. Sometimes,  I just want to run.

What do you prefer running solo? Or with a partner?

 

www.belleofthecarnival.wordpress.com

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victorias_view 18 pts moderator

You are out exercising and that's great! You are right - it is about personal preference and what works best for you :)

I have my slow jog days and they usually occur when my I-Pod shuffle switches to leonard cohen, joni mitchell, blue rodeo...I'm in tears, wondering, how did all of these sad songs end up on my I-Pod?

MelissaOklahoma 5 pts

I'm not a runner, more of a slow jogger. But when I do jog and when I exercise in general, I prefer to do it on my own most times. It think it's just a personal preference.

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

Did you just say you get to run on the beach? I'm very jealous! I'll almost took out my hip on the ice attempting to run across the road. I guess that would be reason # 2 for running with a partner - they can carry you home if your injured :)

mrsalexhad 5 pts

I've taken up running in the last few months and found that when I run on my own I can zone out and clear my head. No kids, no talking - just me and the pavement.

But I also enjoy the occasional beach run with the husband. It's nice to have someone to cheer you and congratulate you when you make it.

Guess it's all about finding the right balance for you.

From Alex

Check me out on www.whoa-mumma.blogspot.com  ( http://www.whoa-mumma.blogspot.com  )

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

I find it's nice to go it alone. But I find the motivation of partner helps to get me out the door :) I really think it is a fine balance. But I also think it would be nice not to be the constant cheerleader or worry about another persons pace...

CeilidhOnTheRun 5 pts

I have a running partner that I really enjoy getting out with, we help get one another out the door when we need the extra motivation, but most times I am happiest running solo. For me it really is a sort of meditation,so if I can motivate myself (and lately this has been beyond challenging) I prefer to go it alone.

Trish - SWC & BSW, ECE

www.ceilidhontherun.com ( http://www.ceilidhontherun.com )

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

I think after this next race we might have to part our separate ways and run on our own. But I like the idea of having a running mate. Somebody to hold you accountable to stick to your goals. But at times that isn't always necessarily the case...

I think right now - I will balance three days of running with myself, 2 days with Grace, and I think it might be the winnng combo for both of us.

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

It is nice to have a partner to run with and I think it might be about finding balance. I truly enjoy my solo runs and the time I have to clear my head.

I also think if one person isn't in the right frame of run that day they should take break and shouldn't put their running mate through a lot of unpleasant grumbling. It's hard to motivate somebody who doesn't want to do it :)

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

I love walking on my off days and it's nice to chat with friends without all of the huffing n' puffing :)

beaubeau 5 pts

I have been a runner for many years. I've had many people ask me if they could run with me, hoping that my love of running might infect them and give them the boost they wish for to themselves become consistent runners. I always have to turn them down.

I too consider running to be meditation and soul grounding time. Having someone running alongside changes that. I cannot imagine mixing conversation with running. Not my cup of tea. While I love to encourage others to do whatever fits their desires to care for themselves, running is a purely solo activity for me, with the exception of the annual run for the cure I do. Different purpose to it then.

theoutcast 5 pts

Even walking. I love listening to my Ipod.

There is nothing wrong with it being your time to yourself. You can only encourage so much, like you pointed out. She has to take herself to that place mentally.

Great job on keeping fit :)

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

texasebeth 6 pts

I think I would prefer to run by myself. I do walk occasionally and prefer that with friends. It's easier to talk when walking than running.

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

victorias_view 18 pts moderator

It is nice to run solo I find when I'm alone I'm not panting as much and my foot steps are more in sync with my breathing. It's can be very relaxing once you hit your stride.

But I do like having a partner someone to hold you accountable,keep you motivated, and to laugh with..I think for me - it's finding the perfect balance of running alone and running with a partner.

Desi Valentine 12 pts

I've only been running for a few months, but I much prefer to run alone. It's meditation for me. It give me time to detox and de-stress without distraction, and to focus on my own personal improvement. It's my time, and I don't want to share it. At least, not yet.