SAHM to WAHM Takes More Than Moxie

Thank you, Erika.  Women have been writers who work at home for years, not to mention women taking in laundry while keeping children at home, catering from home, etc.  Yet today, we've got an acronym for that and everything else.  We're so webified! LOL.

I think that more people will start telecommuting.  Certainly the more progressive companies in the world promote telecommuting because they've found employees are happier and usually do more work not less. It's the fear that folks will stay home and goof off that causes some employers to resist telecommuting.  You're lucky that both you and your husband have the advantage of working from home.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

I laughed at your saying you were to wimpy to be a WAHM.  I know that can't be the whole story because staying home with children and work is no job for a wimp.  But, yeah.  I know what you mean just the same.

Nothing beats working from home for convenience and sometimes for peace of mind also.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

... my co-parent takes for granted that I can take care of everything, because I work from home.  Huge issue!

When I was married and telecommuted, my spouse seemed to think that because I was home then I was available for anything he wanted to toss over.  This is a common issue that must be addressed by WAHPs.  We've got to prioritize and then be firm with others that we have a work schedule just like they do.  So, you're not alone at all. 

Thank you for coming by and letting us know where to find you. :-)

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

Mari, this is so true!

I believe that in any situation, We are all hybrid moms for all the multi-tasking we do. No matter if its' breastfeeding your child while doing the laundry and cooking meal all at the same time

Thank you.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

No extra help with childcare?  So, you're like most moms who work at home, I think.

They must be jugglers. :-)  Thanks for commenting.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

 I absolutely think that you count as a WAHM. There are so many ways to be a work-at-home parent, so having a child in childcare (mine will be starting daycare part time this fall) and telecommuting absloutely count. One of the publications I'm an editor for is in Texas, so like you, I'm technically telecommuting, while also doing my own writing and editing. I think the beuaty of being a WAHM is that we're redifning what work means/how it's done...even if it's taking a while to catch on as "legit." 

Erika
WAHM, freelance writer and editor

Personal blog: Musings from the Mitten ( http://musingsfromthemitten.com ):
theWAHMmagazine's companion blog: From the Editor's Desk ( http://thewahmmagazine.net/blog )

Great post Nordette!

I too am a WAHM.  I've been a WAHM for 2.5 years now, and while it has its challenges wouldn't have it any other way. (I used to work FT in museum curatorial/education, and PT as an editor/author). My husband also telecommutes part of the week to his FT job in management at one of the Detroit Three, so we're technically a WAH-family.  As a WAHM, I'm an editor, writer (artices and agented non-fiction book author), and publisher of theWAHMmagazine, a content-driven digital magazine for work-at-home parents. I parlayed my editing and writing into my FT WAHM career, but still do art historial work. (I'm also a political wife, which adds an entirely different dimension to the WAHM life, that most don't have to work with, or around.)  

I think that one of the biggest hurdles for the WAHM community/industry, is being taken seriously by others outside of the WAHM community/industry. We've all heard it: the "must be nice" comments that come from people who don't think we're really working, or the people who discount us as real professionals when you give yourself the title of "WAHM." In the past few weeks alone, I've seen articles, studies and blog posts that either remove us from the discourse entirely when discussing women in the work force or ones that heavily criticize us for chosing to be up front about simultaneously placing our families and careers as important.

Perhaps as more people telecommute or actively seek to establish a different kind of work-life/family-life balance those (anti-WAHM) attitudes will change. 

Marie's site (WAHM spot) is great. She's doing a great thing for other WAHMs by highlighting/spotlighting our businesses and products. I've worked with her in the past, and she's got my two thumbs up without a doubt. 

--Erika ( http://www.erikageiss.com )
WAHM, freelance writer, editor, magazine publisher
Personal Blog: Musings from the Mitten ( http://musingsfromthemitten.com/ )
theWAHMmagazine's companion blog: From the Editor's Desk ( http://thewahmmagazine.net/blog )

I've been a WAHM for 4 years now.  I was a WOHM for one year but I was too wimpy for that, so my wonderful employer allowed me to work from home.  It has been like a roller coaster.  I started WAH with one child and now I have two.  It has taken major juggling and a supportive employer.  I have a sis-in-law nearby and we do some swapping of childcare.  I catch up with work at night.  That is one thing about working from home, I never really feel like I'm off the clock.  If the kids are tucked in, I feel a responsiblity to check in with work and make sure everything is going OK.  I worry about it on vacation and if I sneak out to the park with the kids.  I sometimes think if I worked in an office it would be easier to leave things there at the end of the day.  There is a  bonus... I can throw in a load of laundry while I'm talking to a customer on the phone.

Thanks for writing on this topic.  This is my first time commenting on BlogHer, and it feels good to join the community.

I'm not sure why, but I had an interesting slightly emotional response to this post.  I often find that I feel a bit like a misfit, because I never seem to fit into the neat categories that acronyms label so cleanly and concisely.  Now, I have a new one WAHM...or maybe I do finally fit...I'm not sure, but my fingers are crossed!

Let's see.  I work at home, but I am not self-employed.  I am a mother who works at home, buy my child has always been in childcare or school, so I haven't had the experience of having him here with me all day as I work, except when he's sick or out of school for some reason.  When I tell people I telecommute for a company based on the opposite coast, they automatically assume that that somehow means I've been blessed with the opportunity to spend more time with my child during the week.  Not true.

But, I can't begin to tell you the ways it has enriched my parenting (and daughtering--I was able to care for my terminally ill mother and still work full-time thanks to telecommuting) life.  Now that my son is in elementary school two blocks from home, I do get to have lunch with him at least once a week, volunteer at the school for an hour before the West Coast wakes up twice a week, and yes, be at the principal's door for "special occasions" that have come up as he has adjusted to big kid school.

The other way I don't fit in with many of the mothers with whom I interact is that I am a single mother.  Well, a co-parenting single mother.  One of the challenges I've found with also working from home in this situation, is that my co-parent takes for granted that I can take care of everything, because I work from home.  Huge issue!

So, do I qualify as a WAHM, or is it reserved for women who are self-employed and/or who actually have their children home with them?  I'm hopeful, because sometimes it feels good to fit in.  :-)

Thanks, again for your post.  You can check out my embryonic blog at:  www.themamaspot.com ( http://www.themamaspot.com/ ).

I am in the process of finding ways to transition into a WAHM. It is a tough decision especially in this economy. It is also tough keeping up with the obligations and responsiblities of trying to be 100% working full-time and 100% family woman! I believe that in any situation, We are all hybrid moms for all the multi-tasking we do. No matter if its' breastfeeding your child while doing the laundry and cooking meal all at the same time. I do envy moms who are WAHM or SAHM. It's a whole different arena compared to one who works outside the home.

Thank you so much for this.  I know it's a growing trend but it seems like I have trouble finding people in the same situation.  Both my husband and I telecommute and we have no extra help with childcare.  It's hard.  I'm going to check out all those links.

It was my pleasure to mention your diaper cakes because I think they're adorable.

Yes, I know that more and more women with degrees are deciding to work from home or to be SAHMS. However, I know some folks dispute the figures.

Thank you for sharing these links with the BlogHer community. Hybrid mom is an intriguing term.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette )

Vered, what you said about  feeling like you fail on all fronts is true.  I know it's true for me.  I think many of us, especially moms, suffer from a desire to be perfect, but your advice to learn to let go is wise.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette )

Nordette,
This is a wonderful article and I appreciate you mentioning me and my business! I actually left a full-time position as the State AIDS Director to became a WAHM. Although it was a a decision that changed my career path, I do not regret it. I have the full support of my husband to make choices that enable me to spend time with our son and follow my dreams. I work as a consultant(my first WAHM gig) while working on building Cutie Booty Cakes - it is difficult at times but I wouldn't make any other decision at this point in my life.

You mention that being a WAHM does not require a college degree and I certainly agree with that. However, there is loads of evidence that many college and professional degree holders are making this decision. I hold a Masters degree and many of my moms that I have met at Hybrid Mom ( http://www.hybridmom.com/ ) have left corporate positions to focus on being WAHMs. In addition, I like to point out an article on Hybrid Mom Study Finds an Increasing Number of MBAs Taking the Mommy Track ( http://cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com/2008/08/by-spe... ) Although this article does not talk discuss these SAHMs becoming WAHMs I am sure that many of them do make this decision.

For all the WAHMs and potential WAHMs good luck and remember - it takes more than moxie to do this successfully.

Nordette, thank you again for highlighting WAHMs!

Renée aka Mekhismom
Cutie Booty Cakes ( http://cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com/ )

Nordette and commenting on my blog article about sahms and working moms.

It's true, moms especially are always in demand 24/7, we need to take a time out to relax and unwind, but to also do things we enjoy...whether it is a good book, a nice bath, or getting to know other moms online ☺

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Patricia Garza is a former elementary teacher who turned stay at home mom after
the birth of her first son in 2004. Since 2005, Patricia became an online entrepreneur and a mother again to her second son in 2007. Find Patricia online at http://twitter.com/littlebytesnews or subscribe to her parenting resource blog at http://littlebytesnews.blogspot.com

I was a WOHM for a while, a SAHM for 5 years, and now I'm a WAHM. 

Each has its own benefits to the mom and to the family, and each comes with its own unique set of problems.

"Working from home does not result in making millions for most moms, and frequently millions wasn't the goal."

I think this is a very true statement. To me, it's more about being there for my kids while still doing my own thing and keeping my career going. Of course, you often feel as if you fail on all fronts because you don't give 100% to any single aspect of your life. But who said one should give 100% anyway? Letting go of perfectionism is crucial for making working at home work. 

Vered DeLeeuw

http://momgrind.com/

Thanks for commenting here, Chris, on the juggling act of work and mothering, I also like the title you gave your blog, "Momathon." It's funny and right on the money. :-)

But what I really want to tell you is that I came across the post you did on high heels for baby girls. ( http://www.blogher.com/high-heels-baby-girls )

I hadn't heard of that, and while I wasn't shocked (so many products are pushed on women that didn't seem to get much thought first) I was a little disturbed. I have the same question you have, "is more here than meets the eye?" But I know there are moms out there who probably think it's so adorable and cute that they aren't looking past the cute shoes for any deeper meaning. Even if the designer only meant it in jest, it's still sending a message other than cuteness.

I think I'll apply to this something my daughter says, "That's almost cute, but ..."

I hope more people drop by your high heels for baby girls post ( http://www.blogher.com/high-heels-baby-girls ) to share their thoughts.

Again, thanks for stopping by to comment. I agree that working from home is not for everyone. I think some people need the time outside the house and to work away from home.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette )

I left a comment on your post, nothing extensive, but an acknowledgment that I like this concept of calling moms' me time "Mama's time out ( http://littlebytesnews.blogspot.com/2008/07/to-wor... )" as you do. Even though we tell children that they're in "time out" when they misbehave, I think it translates to our time out because of the duel meaning of taking time off and taking time out. What stuck me is the psychology of time out. We give it to kids, spend some time over there alone so you can think about what you did and understand that playtime's a privilege.

For us, if we don't take time out/off we're likely to get so stressed out that we start snarling or possibly collapse in which case we could end up being forced by someone else into a "time out" that we should've been mature enough to take on our own before we collapsed or snapped.

I believe that it's beneficial to think about our lives in terms of the directions given on airlines, something the late Randy Pausch ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com/2008/07/randy-pausch-d... ) suggested as well, "Put on your oxygen mask first before helping others."

I like your initiative to start Mamastimeout.com.  Thank you for commenting.

Nordette ( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette ) is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link ( http://bigsole.blogspot.com ).

( http://blogher.org/blog/nordette )

Hi Nordette,

I'm a SAHM/WAHM. Most days it is a juggling act with a bit of a balancing act mixed in. Getting work done at home with kids around is not for everyone. Fortunately my kids are industrious themselves and they see the value of working hard while still having time for some fun too. Thanks for sharing your insights and all the great links for more information.  

Chris O.

http://www.MomathonBlog.com 

Hi Nordette,

Nice article and glimpse into what a sahm to wahm is. I consider myself both, along with a former elementary teacher. It took me plenty of hard work and accomplishments to get my teaching degree so I am not about to let go of that title, even though I left my teaching job nearly four years ago to stay at home with my sons.

I just did a post related to the struggles of women who are sahm and working moms ( http://littlebytesnews.blogspot.com/search/label/s... ). I think you might find it interesting as well.

Nice to meet you...by the way, I'm new to Blogher.com ☺ ( http://littlebytesnews.com/ )

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