Sandmen Layoffs?! What next?!
By Mammatalk on November 15, 2009
I was scanning the headlines the other day when I came across some shocking news.
“Major cutbacks at Sandman Incorporated”
Across the nation, thousands of Sandmen have received their walking papers.
“All I got was this pink slip and a reminder not to let the door hit me on the way out,” says one disgruntled former Sandman.
“They said I was sleeping on the job. You try working the night shift, Bud!” screamed another newly unemployed sleep worker.
“I’m FIRED? I can put anyone to sleep anywhere, anytime. I’ve got skills, I tell ya.”
Thousands more Sandmen have seen reductions in hours, salary as well as benefits. Morale is down.
“I can’t believe you need a Master’s Degree to qualify for this flea bitten job!”
There has been talk of a merger with a popular over the counter sleep remedy.
The impact is great.
People everywhere are laying awake at night, wheels a turnin’, hoping their sandman will come. And, sometimes his arrival never comes. Apparently, there have been rolling Sandman blackouts in a feeble attempt to decrease spending.
Public outrage is intense.
“I have three kids under five! I can’t afford to have the Sandman skip my house.”
“Why don’t they outsource, Dam Gummit?”
“What about those unskilled workers? I mean, how hard is it to toss some sand around?”
On a positive note, all the media coverage has shed some light on a previously unknown world.
“You mean there really is a Sandman?”
“That’s sweet. How exactly do you land a Sandman gig?”
“Do they run a background check on these fellas?”
Needless to say, the Tooth fairy has been shaking in her boots.
Yep, things have been tough for some of our nocturnal magical creatures.
Think Santa’s safe?
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