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Santa: Is He or Isn't He? What Do You Tell Your Kids?

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I have always been a great believer in pretend and imagination. As my husband and I have raised our kids I've relished my role as Head Elf, Resident Leprechaun, Tooth Fairy, Easter Rabbit, Great Pumpkin, and any other imaginary, gift-bearing being.

When my son was about five he noticed that I have pointy ears (I don't, by the way). Since it was around Christmas I didn't miss a beat and said, "That's because I'm an elf." For six years my kids thought I was an actual elf that could tell what people are thinking and what they are about to do. How else could I know my daughter had to go the restroom?

This summer while we were on vacation, my daughter (who is eight) pulled me into the bathroom and sat me down on the toilet for a serious discussion. She put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Mom. Are you Santa?"

"Uhhh." I am nothing if not brilliant under pressure.

"I'm old enough to know. You're Santa, aren't you?"

"Did your brother say something to you? Where is this coming from? Why do you think I'm Santa?" I asked.

"No, he didn't say anything. Why? Does he know too? I was just thinking and it seems like you might be Santa."

At this point she looked me deep in the eyes and smirked. It was clear to me she was already sure of the answer and whether I verified it or not, the jig was up. So I verified. We now live in a Santa-free zone. The Easter Bunny, Leprechauns, Great Pumpkin, and Tooth Fairy are known fakes.

Knicol found out from her son a little too early that There is no Santa at My Mundane Existence (Yawn...):

Jack announced “Mom, there is no Santa. Reindeers can’t really fly. That is just silly”. I was so surprised! I thought we had another year or two till he figured it out. Chris and I were torn on the whole Santa Clause thing from the beginning. We do our best not to lie to him about anything. We debated if telling him about Santa was a lie. It kind of is but the best Christmases that I remember were the ones that I believed in magic and thought anything could happen. I did not want to deprive him of the special feeling and excitement. . . . We both came to the agreement that when he figured it out we would not come up with elaborate lies to convince him that Santa was real. I did not tell Jack that Santa was real but I did not tell him he wasn’t either.

How is it at your house? Were your raised believing in Santa? Do you raise your kids with or without the tradition of Santa?

Christina at Momology writes:

I wasn't raised with Santa. I knew from the very beginning that he wasn't real, and I never wrote Santa a letter, strained to hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve, or awoke Christmas morning to find presents bearing Santa's name.

But we've decided to raise Nadia to believe in Santa. I want to watch her face light up with wonder. I want to let her have that precious, innocent part of childhood. I want to give her the magic of Christmas.

Heather at Autumn at Oak Hollow wants to know, Can you hear the bells?

After Autumn went to bed that night we talked about how nice it was to see her get into [The Polar Express]. She found it just as magical as we did, though she sees Santa as an actual being who’s going to bring her that dinosaur on Christmas Eve. Nathan and I talked about that, too. How does a parent prepare a child for the reality of what Santa is and what he isn’t?

I had a plan. I’ve had the plan for many years and thought my idea was a pretty good one. We’d simply tell Autumn that Santa can only bring presents for the really little children and that at some point the mommies and daddies take over and put the gifts under the tree for him. I figured it would be a good way to ease her from one phase to another and hopefully spare her from feeling completely devastated.

Heather changes her mind, though, after she read Myra's I Still Believe post at We Make Three:

I know that at six, the magical years are coming to a close. It makes me sad, and I hope

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memoryworkshop 5 pts

my dd is almost 9 and is a firm believer. (though she did share her remarkably accurate theory about the Tooth Fairy with me last week.) So is her 5yo brother.

Our local mall santa wears a mic and while parents "chat" with the photographer, he feeds Santa the vital info. So Santa knows what color your house is, and whether you have a chimney or not. He thanks you for last year's Oreos and compliments you on your collection of snow globes. The kids know that every Mall Santa can't be the real thing, but one of them is, so they have to behave like he is, because the fake ones all report back to the real Santa.

Santa has always been a fun part of our family Christmas tradition. My brother and I were probably 8 & 10 when we agreed that he probably wasnt real, but we would play along so we would keep getting santa presents.

Sandra in BC

SCanon 5 pts

I don't think it is a bad thing to perpetuate the "Santa myth".  Childhood is really so very short and I don't see any harm at all in letting our kids believe in magic and fantasy for a few years.  It doesn't have to be traumatic when they realize Santa is pretend.  They just grow out of it.  I have the fondest memories of thinking Santa was coming and that he would eat the cookies left out for him. 

NeWrinkles 5 pts

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and I think there's no harm if a child believes in Santa even though the holiday is about Jesus and his birth. I was the oldest of seven children and even when I was high school I still loved believing in Santa.

Painted Maypole 5 pts

We have been honest about Santa being pretend all along, to focus on Jesus' birthday, but we maintain that Santa is fun to tell stories about and pretend, so we don't "banish" him from our celebration. Young children love to pretend, and this takes away none of the magic.   I wrote all about it last year:  http://paintedmaypole.blogspot.com/2007/09/on-magi...

CinWrites 5 pts

Cin Langston

 I just did a post about this last night, inspired by irritation with my Son13's obsession with disproving Santa to my Daughter9.  Here's the post if you want to read it. ( http://her-family-blog.com/2008/12/i-believe-in-sa... ) I think it's good :-)  My Parents did a great job of taking my belief in Santa and transforming it into a belief in mankind.  They never took Santa from me, they gave me hope and spirit. I have incredible memories of Christmas time with my Family and the magic has never ended. We still gather to celebrate each other, spread good will, and sing happy birthday to Jesus. 

purplesahm 5 pts

Guess that wasn't very Christmas-spirit-y sounding was it? I didn't mean it as bitter as it sounded...

Merry Christmas!

:)

amanda
ohamanda.com
twitter.com/oohamanda

purplesahm 5 pts

I never believed in Santa...and I dont know it kinda rubs the wrong way when people put their hand on my shoulder and say, "poor you". I still had the "magic" of Christmas. I was just as excited as every other duped kid in my elementary school class.

We left out cookies for Santa, made Christmas lists, hung up stockings and the like. I just knew Santa was pretend. 

What's wrong with pretend? My daughter is 2 and equates Santa to a character like Frosty and Rudolph. But let me tell you, no one has more stars in her eyes than she does!

amanda
ohamanda.com
twitter.com/purplesahm

Carrie Blankenship 5 pts

You know, we are all about the truth . . . in regards to everything BUT this! 

My kids are 11, 10 and 5 and Santa is very much alive and well in our house.  Of course, I know the older ones don't *really* believe, but we keep the magic alive.  It's not that we are trying to pull the wool over their eyes - but keeping a fun, innocent and meaningful tradition for our family.

I am 35 and my mom still has never told me that Santa is not real, I much prefer it that way too!  I'll never tell, I may wink and smile - even when my own children are asking for advice on what to put in my grandchildren's stockings, I will never tell . . .

There is just so much that kids are forced to face and deal with in our society.  I really see no harm in keeping a special, fun and magical tradition alive for as long as possible.  You have to have a little magic! :)

Stop Screaming I'm Driving! ( http://stopscreamingimdriving.com

aftercancer 5 pts

My husband and I were just discussing this last night.  Our oldest is nearly 8 and I'm not sure how much longer we have.  Here's what I've decided to do.  If he asks, my first response is going to be what do you think?   As needed I am going to explain my belief in Santa.  I do believe in Santa because I see Santa as a special part of your heart.  Santa is when you do something extra for someone else who needs it.  Santa is when you leave an anonymous gift for someone who needs.  Santa is teaching your kids to help others at a time when they are thinking of gifts for themselves. 

 The day will come too soon that wehave to have this conversation so this year I'm just going to enjoy. 

Kate

I blog at http://www.aftercancernowwhat.blogspot.com 

Clamo88 5 pts

http://alittlemorecrazythancool.com

My hubby is a youth pastor so obviously we teach that the reason for Christmas is that it's the birthday of Jesus. But I was also raised in a house where my parents had lots of fun with me at Christmas time! They did everything from walking around on the roof at night, walking outside my window with a red-lighted flashligh (rudolph), left ashy footprints on the floor leading to the tree, etc. So even when it was "time" for me to learn the truth I didn't WANT to believe any different! I got MAD at my mom for TELLING me and ending the charade! So with the fun in mind, we've decided that we'll obviously focus on Jesus and not Santa, BUT teach the kids about the real St. Nicholas who spent his life helping the sick and needy. With that in mind, we will then be fine with "playing" along with the magic of Santa Claus.  After talking with some friens who did the same thing, they said their kids never even asked if it was real or not real. Others said when they did ask, the parents asked them right back what they thought. But they all said that they did all of the fun things that they were brought up doing for Santa, like leaving cookies and milk for him and carrots for the reindeer, etc. So I think that's kind of our plan for now! But my kids are tiny and only the 2 year old has any interest in Santa right now!

Merry Christmas!